Optimistic Realists vs Pessimistic Realists

I've always pride myself on being able to see the brighter side of things in every life's events, to believe that there are good things to come after each disappointment, to try to carve a big smile early in the morning, believing that it will leave a permanent mark on my face throughout the day, to not really take things too seriously, to look at certain things that need to be looked superficially (by not digging deep into that matter that might brought devastation once uncovered), in other words, I've always been an optimistic person.

But of course, it is not easy to maintain your optimism if you're surrounded with pessimists and realists. The kind of people which could pulverize your dreams, blowing them to disperse in the thin air (what kind of terminology am I using?). To tell the truth, we are all realists, but whether we are the 'optimistic realists' or the 'pessimistic realists', the choice is ours.

Let's face it, there is no person in this world who is 100% optimist or 100% pessimist. There is 'a realist' inside us, because we're living in the reality, not in a make-believe world. 

For example, in the case of 'Sharlinie', the girl who went missing in 2008, 4 years had passed until now and she was never found and there is not a single valid trace that could lead us to her. 

The optimistic me still believes that she is out there, that she is still alive, that somehow, she will be reunited back with her family if God wills it. I couldn't avoid to brush out the bad things that might have happened to her, I'm a realist as well. Bad things could have happened to her, nevertheless I still believe that she is still alive out there, and my prayer goes out to her.

But the pessimistic realist would go... '4 years had passed. I'm sure that girl had died long ago'.

Of which kind of annoyed and saddened me at the same time.

You get the difference? Which one do you prefer? The former or the latter? I'm sure most of you would have picked the former. :P 

Nevertheless, an optimistic realist could turned into a pessimistic realist, if she is surrounded by a whole bunch of them, or if she's close to that pessimistic realist, often hearing the PR (pessimistic realist) complaining about things that she had never ever thought before.

Pessimistic realists often think too much, digging too much emotion that it affects her own moods. Which in turns, give out negative vibes to the people around her, turning the once optimistic realist into a pessimistic realist.

For example

'I couldn't go out for dinner with you today. I have to meet a important person,'

The optimistic realist would just accept the fact the way it is. Okay, couldn't go out for dinner. Well, being a realist, you're disappointed that she cancelled the dinner just because she wanted to have it with another important person. But the optimistic you saves your emotion by thinking on the bright side. She had to meet an important person. Possibly because the matter is very important that the dinner is cancelled. Fine, you accept it.

The pessimistic realist would also accept the reason. But being a pessimistic, she would begin to think of various other 'possibilities' on why she doesn't want to have a dinner with you. Things like 'It seems like that person is more important than I am,' or 'She cancelled a dinner planned long ago just because she wanted to meet a person for a newly scheduled dinner arrangement?' which later turns to 'She is not a good friend. She values that person more than she values me,'. and BAM! absolute pessimism 'I know that I'm not as rich as that person, not as successful, and that is why she chose to have dinner with that person instead of with me. 

But once the pessimistic realist said these following concise, thoroughly thought over thoughts to the optimistic realist, the optimism of the optimistic realist begins to waver. 'I've never thought of it this way before!' and she is angry of herself for only being able to see things the way they are, for being so superficial and shallow, angry that she had been deceived by the friend-who-cancelled-dinner. 

And that's it. Two pessimistic realists.

To think again, is it necessary to think too much? Is it wrong to look at things superficially without giving too much thoughts about them? 

Sometimes, when you think too much, you muddled your own thinkings. Would you rather to think that the friend think highly of you or do you prefer to think the opposite (even if the opposite is true).

As for me, I'll try my best to uphold my 'optimistic realist' principle, to look for the good in others, to avoid inner and external conflicts, I love peace and serenity, I hate conflicts, I hate being sad and I hate being angry. I could always avoid myself from having those negative feelings by CHOOSING not to have them, by choosing not to think about bad things that in a way, have some correlation with me, thus making me upset.

I'll think of the good in others. I'll practise 'Husnuzhon', which means having good thoughts about others. I have had some experiences of which Husnuzhon prevailed over bad thoughts. I know that Allah is testing me. I even felt bad of initially having some negative thoughts about the people. I'm sorry! 

Whatever it is, you have the choice to choose how you wanted to feel. The late Stephen R.Covey had countlessly stated in his book 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' that you have the choice to choose your response after being exposed to the stimulus.

I hate having negative thoughts, I hate being a pessimistic realist. It makes me miserable, it changes my outer appearance, I hate being unhappy. I hate that I have chosen to become unhappy when I know that I could have chosen to become happy!

So, you the 'optimistic realists' out there, try to strengthen your qualities. Build a bubble shield that covers yourself so that no destructive amount of pessimism could penetrate through and shatter it, but allow the optimism to pass through the shield, and spread it around to others.

I really sound like a motivator right now. Pfttt...

Actually, I have had a brief moment of transition into a pessimistic realist, but a chat with my mother made me realize all these- these that I have written, reversing the transition and here I am, an optimistic realist again, Alhamdulillah. Surely, Allah worked out his wonders in ways that we, the mere, powerless human beings could never configure.

I'll try my best to stay as an 'optimistic realist'. Yups! 

With that, Assalamualaikum w.b.t, may peace be upon you! Adieu, Adios, Sayonara and if you're reading up till this point, then I must offer you a virtual congratulatory hand shake because you have proven yourself to be an awesome human being! Thank you! :D 

The Escape

You know, sometimes it'd be really delightful to just escape from all these things that muddled our thinkings and emotions, this thing called 'the reality' and just packed up your backpack to move into a totally different world and stay there for a while, as if you are enjoying your holiday, meeting totally new, interesting, quirky people, talking and listening to them, listening to what they have to say for a change, to listen to things that are actually not related to you, minor, measly things like why 'Suki always take the kettle off again after Polly put it on,', to actually fight the real monster, to save a damsel in distress, to witness anything extraordinary, to live a life full of real adventures, not the kind of 'life is actually a series of adventures of how you quickly stand up after falling down over and over again', to experience the kind of life you wish to have when you read the books, when you watch Hayao Miyazaki's films, to take a time-off from the reality.

In that case, I should write a book and mingle with the fictional characters, living in the fictional world that I have created. 

I guess that's the reason how JK Rowling got out of her depression.

No, I'm not depressed. I'm just a little bit upset. The Dementors had blown me a kiss, and all I need is a hot mug of Milo (my version of Chocolate Frog). 

Sometimes, you really need to be alone for a while, to reflect on your life. 

Of course, Allah is always there to listen to you. And it's easier to communicate with him when you're alone, knowing that there's only the two of you (of course Allah is there whether you're alone or not but you get the point, don't you?)

Okay, adieu.