Saturdays with Sarah

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone! 

Oh, I haven't been writing on this blog for more than a month! 

I actually made a pact with myself to post something here at least once a month but looks like it's probably gonna be once in every 2 months instead, LOL. 

Well, I had been doing something great (at least for me) for the past 2 months. The main reason of why I'm not blogging regularly is because...

I have a weekly newsletter called 'Saturdays with Sarah'! 

It's a weekly e-newsletter sent to my readers/subscribers every Saturday, hence it's Saturday with Sarah. 

To date, I had been consistently posting 9 letters for 9 consecutive Saturday, alhamdulillah! 

Tomorrow is going to be my 10th letter, insya Allah. 

I had always been inspired by Aida Azlin for her Tuesday Love Letters, and I'm always looking forward towards receiving her letters every Tuesday. Her letters uplift my heart! 

Deep inside me, I wanted to write something like what she had written. But something that comes from my heart, with my own way of writing and thinking. Something that comes out of my own opinions and reflections. But alas, I put the idea away, thinking it was too difficult, and I would probably have an endless battle with writer's block anyway. So, forget it! 

Also, I have this problem with consistency. In 2021, I made a pact that I would write a blog post every week, on my new wordpress website (which I paid quite a hefty amount of money for). But it only lasted for about 4 letters? 4 weeks? I can't remember. I do know that I didn't really enjoy writing it, LOL. 

I must admit that I really want people to read what I had written. Although writing is an act of joy for me, I would like to be validated as a writer. Meaning, I wanted to have readers, who occasionally respond to what I had written. It could boost my morale and motivation to write more and more. 

That did not happen with blog posts. Nowadays, nobody really reads blogs anymore. This isn't like in the 2000s' till early 2010s'. We had moved past 2020, ladies and gentlemen! 

But I have so much to talk about, so many things to share, I don't want to put my talent to waste. Okay, I would like to acknowledge that I indeed, have a talent in putting words into writing. 

So how can I combine my love for writing, my passion and desire to become a writer and gets validated from what I had written- aka actually having readers? 

I didn't have any answer for that, and besides, I had too much on my plate already. 

Until....I came across two books written by Nurliyana Rahmat, titled 'Healing Careful-liy' and 'Love, Liy'. Her books are a compilation of weekly letters she had written over several years and I am in love with her writings, and the idea of curating a weekly newsletter. 

The back of 'Love Liy' states that the letters serve as a safe space for her to share her reflections, be vulnerable and able to express herself freely. The letters are written like journal entries for her to bridge connections with her readers. 

And at the end of the book, the writer urges the readers to start writing letters of their owns. 

That's it! That's the answer to my question.

So I DM-ed Nurliyana Rahmat and asked her what platform she had used for her letters, and she said that she had been using mailchimp, which is free. 

I was nervous at first, but it was a now or never moment! I set up my own template, sent test emails to some of my friends, and alas, I let my intention known to my followers on IG and asked them to leave their emails if they wish to subscribe to my weekly newsletters. 

Alhamdulillah, the response was overwhelming! I thought I'd get at most 10 subscribers, LOL, but turns out much more than that. I like the idea of being vulnerable through my letters, as opposed towards being vulnerable on my blog posts or on IG/Stories, where everyone could have free access to my thoughts hahaha. 

Only those who care enough to subscribe to my newsletters are the people I can be vulnerable with, because they are so supportive! This small action of subscribing to my letters means so much to me, and I am thankful for their presence in my life. 

Thank you , my subscribers! 

Some had DM-ed me, saying how they love reading my letters, how my letters resonate with their current states, and so on. Masya Allah, alhamdulillah, I am glad that my letters are beneficial to them.

I write those letters for myself, and I need to share the reflections from the going-ons in my life, which includes my experiences, circumstances, books I read, places I had been to, with the intention to make them feel better. To uplift their spirits. To make them come closer to Allah. 

I would like to think of it as a form of dakwah, done in my own way.  

Writing these letters had become a weekly routine for me and I feel so much joy in writing them.  Sometimes I got an idea of what to write and the words just flow out smoothly. Sometimes I felt like tearing my hair out as I had no idea what to write even when it's already Friday! 

But that's the thing. I learn to always show up to write these letters even when I don't feel like it. I have my own subscribers and I must not let them down! I'm not sure how long will I continue to write it, but I would like to write at least 40 letters, insya Allah. 

I would consistently pray to Allah after every solat for Him to grant me the ideas of writing the best letters ever, and for Him to help me to write those letters in the best possible way. 

On a last note, if you wish to subscribe to my weekly newsletter, just leave your email at the small subscription form on the right panel of this blog. 

Please pray that I could write more letters and these letters serve as my legacy, my source of good deeds even after I'm no longer here on this world. Aameen. 

The Golden Era of Chinese and Hong Kong Dramas

Assalamualaikum and hello everyone! Just thinking I should post something on this blog once a week. This is a musing I wrote when I randomly thought about all the Chinese dramas I watched growing up. 

So nostalgic!     

***

The advent of Korean Wave had led to the infiltration of its dramas, culture, language, just almost everything into countries around the world. But before their dramas and movies made their way into Malaysia, we were once besotted by various Chinese and Hong Kong dramas playing on the TV from the early 90s’ to early 00’s. Those were the golden era of TVB and ATV.

       “I couldn’t watch Zhi Wei getting tortured by Rong Mo Mo,” my friend lamented dramatically. We were then 10 years old, living in an era where the television was our primary source of entertainment.

      “I was so mad, I felt like jumping into the TV and punch her in the face,” I replied with gusto.

        Huan Zhu Ge Ge, or popularly known as ‘My Fair Princess’, had taken the world by storm in the late 90s’. It was first aired in the Cantonese dub at NTV7 in 1999.  Even at a young age, I managed to differentiate between the two dubs, Mandarin and Cantonese, although I do not speak in either dialect. The story of how the spunky Xiao Yan Zhi met the demure Zhi Wei, and making their way to the Forbidden City, with romance and adventures along the way, still enticed me to this day.

      Then there were the Wuxias turned into heart-pounding dramas like State of Divinity, Legend of Condor Heroes and Storm Riders, where the whole family would sit in front of the TV, our mouths agape as we marvelled over the Kung Fu moves and the ability to fly and fight on water. I wished that I had learned Kung Fu then. I really wanted to fly.

      My earliest memory of religiously watching Chinese Dramas every afternoon began in 1997, where both my mom and I were glued to ‘The Good Old Days’ every afternoon. The series is so good that even the previews managed to stop me from my task as I craved to know more about the next episodes.

    From then on, I watched every single drama the TV had to offer. I eventually became an ardent fan of Jessica Hsuan, who acted in Golden Faith, Square Pegs, Witness to a Prosecution, the list is endless! Not to forget Dicky Cheung who played comedic characters in Fong Sai Yuk and Journey to the West. Also, I think I still have a crush on Kwong Wah who played the suave saxophonist in ‘I Have a Date with Spring’.

    A friend had commented on my interest towards Chinese dramas by saying “You’re a Malay, why are you watching too many Chinese dramas?” to which I replied “What’s wrong with that?”

    Chinese dramas exert its positive effects in many ways. One example would be that it unites people from different races and religions in Malaysia, just like how P.Ramlee’s movies did. I clearly remember becoming friends with Rachel and Parvathee, bonded by our loves towards My Fair Princess. We would spend our breaks in between classes, writing fan fictions for each of us to read and comment on, and gushed over Alec Su at that young age. We were just eleven!

    Also, through watching the period dramas, I also inadvertently learned about the history and culture of China, where different dynasties were depicted. The Qing dynasty setting in My Fair Princess featured women in elaborate headdress and clogs, while the men each sporting a queue. The Tang, Song and Ming dynasties have its people dressing in similar styles. The Yuan Dynasty was under the governance of Mongol kings Kublai Khan and Genghis Khan, after the fall of the Song Dynasty. A King’s love towards his General’s lover had led to the downfall of the mighty Ming Empire.

       When Korean dramas began to make its waves over Malaysia, the TV channels had slowly stopped showing Chinese and Hong Kong dramas. That was when this glorious era had waned, making ways to Winter Sonata and Autumn in My Heart.

     The era of watching Chinese dramas had ended for me as well. However, whenever the mood struck, I would play the soundtracks, reminiscing the carefree days where all I cared about was to go home to watch the next episode of Triumph in the Skies with my family, and where my classmates would excitedly chatter about the previous episode of Armed Reaction, anticipating the next one today.

Ah, the good old days! 

The Joy of Writing

Assalamualaikum and Hello everyone.

It’s been a while. A really long while. When I first created this blog almost 15 years ago (Gosh I feel old! This blog is the same age as the Form 3 students taking PT3 this year!), I had fun writing on it. There was this sense of accomplishment, of you writing something out and it appeared on the internet, and people actually read what you had written!

So, I began writing more from my heart, spewing out every feelings and happenings, writing and hitting that publish button for as many as 5 blog posts per day! It was exhilarating! Back then it was only less than 5 people who actually read my blog.

As my blog gained more readers and followers, I began to feel self-conscious over what I think and write. I am that kind of person who loves to speak out on various matters, but the thing is, some of my opinions are not necessarily correct. I got embarrassed over what I had written and slowly deleted some of the posts that I deemed would make people think less of me. What a shame, I should have put them in the drafts mode instead.

But yeah, blogging was therapeutic, enjoyable, fun! Nevertheless, as time gone by, more and more people began to leave the blogging world in pursuit of an app with beautiful photo grids. Many had changed their simple polyphonic phones into smart phones, and of course, the appearance of Instagram is timely. We began spending more time scrolling through the pictures in our phones, reading the captions, and not many have the time to write long blog posts or even read them anymore.

It’s the same with me. The feeling to speak out my mind is still there, but I had chosen to write them on the IG stories and Whatsapp stories instead. There is also that feeling of satisfaction when you could see people viewing your stories (and your words), which no doubt, created that feeling of pride over what you had written. But really, am I writing to satisfy myself, or to satisfy the viewers?

Eventually, I have developed the same feeling I had when I blogged. I feel conscious of the number of people viewing my stories. What if there is a person who disagrees with my opinions, screenshot-ed it and make it viral over the internet? Of course, this is just my anxiety talking.

Just today, I realized that the passion of writing is still there. The yearning to express my feelings, to write about what I think might be interesting. But the best platform for me to do that is through this good old blog. Whereby I don’t have to comply with the word limits, I don’t have to make my IG and whatsapp stories so crowded with my own thoughts and opinions.

This blog will forever be the place where I can write to my heart’s content, from my heart, with hopes that it could touch other people’s hearts. Here, I will not be worried or anxious upon looking at the number of viewers (and who viewed my blog). Here, I am quite safe, as not many people read blogs anymore!

So I decided I must write regularly again, just to organize my thoughts. Even though not many people would read it, it’s okay. I write for myself. I write for my own pleasure. And that, is the true joy of writing. J

In other words, I’m not going to let this blog die! Come on, I had fed and raised this blog for 15 years now! xD