Salaam'alaik.
Can't think of any appropriate title. I looked around, and the first thing I saw was this glass bottle of Blackmores Vitamin C supplement. So yeah...
There are many things that inspire you. It could be a person, a movie, a song, a superhero, a monkey, cat, even a bottle half-filled with mineral water. LOL.
I signed up for this website www.dramalist.com. It is kind of the goodreads' version for dramas and movies. And so I rated each drama that I have watched, and as I clicked on each of it, my mind began to recall some memorable scenes on each particular drama.
All of a sudden, the opening song for 'Jin', a very inspiring and memorable Japanese drama began to play in my head. It instantly makes me feel inspired and hopeful for the future. I just can't explain it. It just happened. And I am a weird person who finds joy and inspiration in even the smallest of thing but as long as this attribute makes me happy, then I am happy and contented enough. =)
A month ago, I answered an MCQ question wrongly for the Anti-Cancer and Chemotherapy quiz. I debated with my lecturer on the integrity of the choice of answers. I lost, which is predictable of course. My lecturer has a Ph.D, and I only have SPM certificate (LOL).
This incident left me feeling crushed and sad. It is not such a big deal, but I really don't know what had gotten into me at that time. One thing for sure, I have lost a bit of my interest towards that subject, which is pathetic.
I managed to console myself and you know that self-motivation is the most effective morale booster a person could ever receive. I typed this to my phone and saved it as a note.
"Things that give you pain and hurt you deeply now might give you happiness in the future, if only you believe in it and never give up. Believe in Allah!"
and I was reminded of a scene in 'Dae Jang Geum', a story about a court maid who later became the first female royal physician in a male-dominated society of the Joseon Dynasty. When someone told her to give up, she said with determination "I will never give up! No one would make me give up!" I could feel the chill creeping down my spine as I watched this.
Last week, things got a bit unbearable for me. My research project had been abandoned for a month. I pray that there would be no molds growing on my plants. T__T. I have so many things to attend to, so many things to settle. This semester, I am the head editor for the i-Mag (IIUM Pharmacy students' magazine), I am the treasurer for COHSAS (community outreach programme for indigneous people), I am the secretary for the swimming tournament, and I am a student with so many assignments to do, so many quizzes to study for.
Last Wednesday, I had to perform a series of lab tests for my plant. We had to do the control experiment and the real experiment. I failed to obtain the correct result for the CONTROL experiment, even after I have carefully done everything according to what the lab manual stated. This event leads to me doubting myself of whether I am really capable of becoming a researcher in the future.
Which also leads to me questioning certain things. Do I really want to pursue my studies? Or is it something that my mother and almost everyone around me expected me to do? If I really wanted to pursue my studies to a higher level, do I really want to take something that is really cool (Pharmacology, Medicinal Chemistry, Cancer, Drug Discovery) but I do not have that much interest in?
I have found my true calling. I must do things that makes me happy, even if it doesn't appeal to the public. For now, I have decided to just work at the hospital and become a clinical pharmacist. If I wanted to pursue my studies, I would like to take Clinical Pharmacy. I once dislikes being in a hospital but after several hospital attachments, I realize that this career is very interesting. And that one Chinese pharmacist working at HTAA had amazed me (and my friends) with her vast knowledge and skills in interpreting the patient's data/lab tests and relating them with something even deeper.
I don't know. Let's just do my best in what I am doing now. I don't have much interest in Pharmacognosy! Blurgh! And I dislike memorizing all EIGHTEEN drugs of anti-epilepsy. I have memorized more than 100 drugs since I entered Pharmacy school. Oh well, let's just be patient, Sarah.
And the opening song from 'Jin' played in my mind again. I would like to write a script for a great drama like 'Jin'. Writing is my passion, and so I shall write. I am writing now.
Dear Allah, please show me the way. :'(
P/S I find clothes fascinating! Never really gave much thoughts about clothes before, as compared to other girls my age (as compared to other girls/women). Sarah, it seems like you're starting to come out from your cocoon to emerge as a butterfly huh? LOL. Please ignore this. Can't think of a better analogy.
