Assalamualaikum and Hello everyone.
It’s been a while. A really long while. When I first created
this blog almost 15 years ago (Gosh I feel old! This blog is the same age as
the Form 3 students taking PT3 this year!), I had fun writing on it. There was
this sense of accomplishment, of you writing something out and it appeared on
the internet, and people actually read what you had written!
So, I began writing more from my heart, spewing out every
feelings and happenings, writing and hitting that publish button for as many as
5 blog posts per day! It was exhilarating! Back then it was only less than 5
people who actually read my blog.
As my blog gained more readers and followers, I began to feel
self-conscious over what I think and write. I am that kind of person who loves
to speak out on various matters, but the thing is, some of my opinions are not
necessarily correct. I got embarrassed over what I had written and slowly
deleted some of the posts that I deemed would make people think less of me.
What a shame, I should have put them in the drafts mode instead.
But yeah, blogging was therapeutic, enjoyable, fun!
Nevertheless, as time gone by, more and more people began to leave the blogging
world in pursuit of an app with beautiful photo grids. Many had changed their
simple polyphonic phones into smart phones, and of course, the appearance of
Instagram is timely. We began spending more time scrolling through the pictures
in our phones, reading the captions, and not many have the time to write long
blog posts or even read them anymore.
It’s the same with me. The feeling to speak out my mind is
still there, but I had chosen to write them on the IG stories and Whatsapp
stories instead. There is also that feeling of satisfaction when you could see
people viewing your stories (and your words), which no doubt, created that
feeling of pride over what you had written. But really, am I writing to satisfy
myself, or to satisfy the viewers?
Eventually, I have developed the same feeling I had when I
blogged. I feel conscious of the number of people viewing my stories. What if
there is a person who disagrees with my opinions, screenshot-ed it and make it
viral over the internet? Of course, this is just my anxiety talking.
Just today, I realized that the passion of writing is still
there. The yearning to express my feelings, to write about what I think might
be interesting. But the best platform for me to do that is through this good
old blog. Whereby I don’t have to comply with the word limits, I don’t have to make
my IG and whatsapp stories so crowded with my own thoughts and opinions.
This blog will forever be the place where I can write to my
heart’s content, from my heart, with hopes that it could touch other people’s
hearts. Here, I will not be worried or anxious upon looking at the number of viewers
(and who viewed my blog). Here, I am quite safe, as not many people read blogs
anymore!
So I decided I must write regularly again, just to organize
my thoughts. Even though not many people would read it, it’s okay. I write for
myself. I write for my own pleasure. And that, is the true joy of writing. J
In other words, I’m not going to let this blog die! Come on,
I had fed and raised this blog for 15 years now! xD
