I know that I can survive! #SixWordsStory
I'll come out as a survivor! #SixWordsStory
I don't care about winning, I just want to surviveeee, hahaha! #11WordsStoryLOL
All right, it's already June 2015. Phewww...
As usual, I had undergone many 'heartbreaks' for the past one month because of this 3-letter word (PRP) but hey, I think I have gotten stronger! Sedih kejap je, then dah tak kisah, whatever la, dunia je semua ni, LOL.
The details of these heartbreaks and the ugly truth about PRP life will be revealed once I finished my PRP and get my FRP posting to somewhere other than the place I'm currently posted to now.
As for now, hmm...Gotta keep on being strong! It's the only choice I have.
Last night when I was doing my night shift, using all the energy I had into mixing the Amoxicillin syrup (and many other syrups), I thought to myself "What am I doing here?" "I don't want to work in this hospital any more!" "I hate night shifts!" "I don't feel like working at the hospital at all!"
One year of PRP and another year of compulsory service. Depending on how much I would enjoy FRP life later on, I have another plan: I nak keluar daripada government. To pursue my studies and become a lecturer, or to work in a community pharmacy that pays (and treats) me well... depends laa. Tengok dulu FRP life kat mana and best tak jadi FRP nanti as compared to jadi PRP. T___T
I used to like this job, meeting and talking with patients, etc. But as time goes by, I realized that I had become more rigid. I want to do my job well to avoid getting scolded by my superiors (I don't even care about pleasing them, I just don't want to get scolded by them!) I study because I want to pass the exam and not getting extended. I counselled many patients not because I really want to help them, but because I want to complete my logbook requirements. I go to hospital because I'm forced to and that I don't have any choice, not because I want to serve the people.
Where is the sincerity had once been embedded in me? The working spirit, determination and all? The system made me this way. To strive for perfection. Any sort of mistake during the working process will not be tolerated. Because once you had made a mistake, your name will come out in the whatsapp group for everyone to see and to be informed of your mistakes. They said that an FRP bears more responsibilities than a PRP but from what I could see, it's the PRP who will be blamed for everything, even though the FRP has the duty of counter-checking our works first.
I'm gonna stop now. I'm afraid that someone from Penang (specifically, from the hospital) might stumble upon this digital abode of mine and spew out the contents for everyone to know.
Okay, let's end this post with another picture.
I can only pray that I could finally be passionate with what I'm doing.
