I know that I can survive! #SixWordsStory
I'll come out as a survivor! #SixWordsStory
I don't care about winning, I just want to surviveeee, hahaha! #11WordsStoryLOL
All right, it's already June 2015. Phewww...
As usual, I had undergone many 'heartbreaks' for the past one month because of this 3-letter word (PRP) but hey, I think I have gotten stronger! Sedih kejap je, then dah tak kisah, whatever la, dunia je semua ni, LOL.
The details of these heartbreaks and the ugly truth about PRP life will be revealed once I finished my PRP and get my FRP posting to somewhere other than the place I'm currently posted to now.
As for now, hmm...Gotta keep on being strong! It's the only choice I have.
Last night when I was doing my night shift, using all the energy I had into mixing the Amoxicillin syrup (and many other syrups), I thought to myself "What am I doing here?" "I don't want to work in this hospital any more!" "I hate night shifts!" "I don't feel like working at the hospital at all!"
One year of PRP and another year of compulsory service. Depending on how much I would enjoy FRP life later on, I have another plan: I nak keluar daripada government. To pursue my studies and become a lecturer, or to work in a community pharmacy that pays (and treats) me well... depends laa. Tengok dulu FRP life kat mana and best tak jadi FRP nanti as compared to jadi PRP. T___T
I used to like this job, meeting and talking with patients, etc. But as time goes by, I realized that I had become more rigid. I want to do my job well to avoid getting scolded by my superiors (I don't even care about pleasing them, I just don't want to get scolded by them!) I study because I want to pass the exam and not getting extended. I counselled many patients not because I really want to help them, but because I want to complete my logbook requirements. I go to hospital because I'm forced to and that I don't have any choice, not because I want to serve the people.
Where is the sincerity had once been embedded in me? The working spirit, determination and all? The system made me this way. To strive for perfection. Any sort of mistake during the working process will not be tolerated. Because once you had made a mistake, your name will come out in the whatsapp group for everyone to see and to be informed of your mistakes. They said that an FRP bears more responsibilities than a PRP but from what I could see, it's the PRP who will be blamed for everything, even though the FRP has the duty of counter-checking our works first.
I'm gonna stop now. I'm afraid that someone from Penang (specifically, from the hospital) might stumble upon this digital abode of mine and spew out the contents for everyone to know.
Okay, let's end this post with another picture.
I can only pray that I could finally be passionate with what I'm doing.
4 comments:
behave sarah.. haha. jk.
I'm trying my best to behave myself. Hahahaha.
Hello Sarah! I was overjoyed when I found your blog, as it is recent, frequently updated, and contains your truthful perspective of PRP life. Its been around 8 months since my SPA interview, and I still have no idea when I'll be getting my posting! I feel saddened that PRP has made an optimistic sunshiney girl like you weather-beaten and exhausted. I find through your writings that we are in certain aspects similar in personality, and I fear that I may end up the same as you mentally. However, I'd like to thank you for writing your experiences on this blog, for its giving me the reality of the situation, and giving me pressure to brush up on my knowledge and prepare mentally before harsh reality smacks me square in the face. Here's a virtual hug to you! You are touching hearts of people you do not know in person, and not everyone can claim a feat like that. :) Stay strong! Half of the ordeal is done and gone.
Best regards,
fellow Potterfan, booklover and future pharmacist
Hello there! Sorry it took a long time for me to publish your comment as I rarely logged in to blogspot. Baru perasan. Dx
Oh no, I feel slightly abashed upon reading your comment. My blog is not frequently updated as it was a few months ago. But who knows, thanks to you, my spirit to blog about my 'hellish' prp life will be rekindled! hahaha.
Oh no, don't let my horrifying PRP experience left you scared and worried. There are some advices I could give you.
1. Be prepared with whatever life had thrown you into.
2. Everything happens for a reason. Just keep moving forward. If there is one good thing I had gained from this, it's that I realized I had become strong. Mentally and spiritually strong.
3. Have faith in God. I had found a great friend in God whenever I'm in distress and need His help. He is always there for me. Always.
4. I had also learned not to give a damn about what people think of me. People will always talk about you. In my case, FRPs will always find something, even minor thing to complain about you. But let them be. You can't satisfy or please anyone. Oh yes, I also learn not to please anyone. Just give your best, and people will see your efforts through it. Oh wait, I think I should write an entire blog post about this. Haha.
Thank you for your kind words! You have no idea how your comment had made my day! I wish you all the best for your future PRP life. :)
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