Reminder

I'm writing this post today to remind myself that being a PRP is so emotionally, mentally and physically exhaustive. 

It's also to remind myself that working at the hospital requires a great deal of perseverance and stamina (mentally, emotionally, physically). 

I want to remind myself not to forget how I am being treated by the people over there, and to never have anything to do with any of them ever again. I don't want to ever meet any of them again once I had finished my PRP year. 

If getting posted to Sg.Petani means that I have to go through any of the things I had experienced during my PRP year, or to meet any of the people I despised over there, then no thanks. 

I'm thinking of working at Klinik Kesihatan (if I managed to get posted there). 

Oh yes, I want to remind myself to rethink about my decision to choose ward supply as my department of choice for my FRP period. 

I am so tired. Hahaha. 

I realized that I had developed a passion for learning. 

Having my mother as a teacher, I too, realized that I found great joy in teaching others and sharing knowledge with them.

Many of my friends foresee me becoming a lecturer someday in the future. They said I have that 'lecturer's vibe', LOL. 

Though many of my FRPs would laugh and scoff at this very idea. I didn't exactly give a stellar performance throughout my PRP training. Oh well, they don't know who I really am. The same goes with my friends at the hospital. We are very good friends, of course. But they don't really know who I am. They don't know what my dreams are. They don't even know I love reading and writing. It's my fault too, of course. I was too busy complaining on how hard the life of a PRP is. LOL. 

I miss doing real research of my own interest ( a topic I developed by myself) at the LABORATORY. 

I really questioned my decision to stay becoming a hospital pharmacist right after I had seen the tightly packed duty roster for December. My friend suddenly said "Sarah, let's become lecturers in UIA!" 

I don't know about UIA. It's too far from home. 

One thing for sure. I'm going to become an academician. 

That's it! I'm going to stop becoming a hospital pharmacist right after I had finished my one year of FRP (1+1 compulsory service) and then I'm going to apply for Masters (Pharmaceutical Chemistry/Pharmacology/Medicinal Chemistry/or maybe Clinical Pharmacy oh wait I hate going for ward rounds so I'm going to cancel it out from my options),  become a lecturer, then apply for PhD, become an assistant professor, then associate professor, and finally become a Professor. Then I can win a Nobel Prize for my breakthrough discovery in the world of drugs, LOL. 

Hey, daydreaming really helps to overcome your feeling of sadness and hopelessness.

Two and a half months to go, then sayonara PRP life! Wouldn't wanna miss you! Ever! 

Bye..

Remedies

I am trying hard to suppress my annoyance and irritation towards really simple things. Blame the hormones on that.

Is there any remedy to tone down this feeling? 

Chocolates wouldn't help. I've tried. 

The perfect thing to do would be to just isolate myself from everyone and just read a book or in this case, write. 

So, done with clinical. I love this 2nd clinical rotation, where I got attached to the Pediatrics Ward. I actually enjoyed working and discussing stuffs with my very knowledgeable and inspiring preceptor, and I actually enjoyed doing ward rounds! LOL

At the beginning, I was scared to join the specialist, the MOs and the HOs for ward rounds as I was afraid of them asking me questions that I could not answer.

But they (the specialist, MOs, HOs) had been so nice to me so far. They acknowledged my presence as a pharmacist there, and the fact that they actually thought of asking questions to this mere PRP (even when my awesome FRP was in the same cubicle-but clerking patients in different bed) brings such an honour to me. LOL.

I learned a lot of thing, and I realised that I had become more knowledgeable than when I first became a PRP and when I was doing my first horrible clinical attachment at the Medical Ward (Male). 

3 months to go. 3 more rotations to complete (OPD, Klinik Kesihatan, Ward Supply) before I finally get this horrifying PRP year to be over with. For my satisfyingly fun clinical rotation, I have 2 people to thank for. The first person is of course, my awesome Pediatrics Clinical Pharmacist, Mr T and the second person is Miss T, the head of clinical pharmacist who had helped me so much especially during the first clinical rotation of which I had faced this dark period of 'The Great Depression'. They inspired me to learn more and to care more for the patients. I actually have this thought of pursuing my studies in 'Clinical Pharmacy' someday in the future. But I'm torn between choosing 'Clinical Pharmacy', 'Pharmocology' or 'Pharmaceutical Chemistry'. Let's see. 

Now, let's talk about something else. 

Places 

Korea

My friends and I are planning to go to Korea next year during the Spring Season. But I don't know when will I get my posting for FRP. Will I still be in the dreadful H**? To whom should I apply my Cuti Rehat from? 

Kuantan

This had been in my plan since I started my PRP and started missing the good old days as a university student. I actually miss UIA Kuantan, Kulliyyah of Pharmacy, all my lecturers and the places I've always frequented to when I was studying in Kuantan. So many memories! :')

Cameron Highlands

One of my favourite places in Malaysia. My family and I went to Cameron Highlands right after I had finished my 1st horrible clinical rotation (which ended really well, Alhamdulillah). I was on the verge of depression back then, crying almost every day, loss of appetite, growing thin and weary that this made my parents worried. My mom later announced that she will plan a short holiday/getaway to Cameron Highlands right after I finished my clinical. Trust me, the thought of going to Cameron gave me strength to survive the oh-so-stressful-despicable week of Clinical. I had fun there, Alhamdulillah. The short staycation had managed to rejuvenate my weakening spirit and since then, Cameron had topped my list of my favourite places in Malaysia. Penang? Not anymore. Not after what it had done to me. LOL. 

Penang

Okay fine. I still love Penang because of the beautiful places there, definitely not because of its people (some of whom I despised greatly). I love its rich history. Someday I shall book a small room at an old house-converted-into-hotel and just roam Penang and savour its delectable choices of foods. And shopping as well. xD

Melaka

I need to go to Melaka again. I need to roam the museums and all the historical places there. My mom said that her side of the family had always been native Malaccans who had lived there since the days of the Malaccan Sultanate. A female ancestor of mine was said to have met and married a trader/merchant who came to the Malaccan port when she was selling beaded shoes by the sea shore. Wow..

I need to go to Melaka.

Gunung Jerai

What are the odds of you celebrating the end of your clinical rotations by going to the highlands? 

As I mentioned earlier, I went to Cameron Highlands after I finished my first Clinical Rotation and for this second Clinical Rotation, my family and I went to spend a night at the top of Gunung Jerai. 

It was the first time I experienced walking through a fog so thick that it made me feel as though I'm in a horror movie. 

Books

Peony in Love

I had finished reading 'Peony in Love' and I love it so much. I had watched many Chinese period/historical dramas when I was young, but I had never read a book with those time settings (the many dynasties where the emperor ruled China). I had read books by Amy Tan, but those books usually showcased the life of people from the war-torn China (after the Japanese Occupation and revolutions) who then immigrated to USA. (But I simply love The Bonesetter's Daughter). So, I'm looking forward to read more novels like this in the future. 

I had never read any fiction set during the Malaccan Sultanate. Except for the drama 'Puteri Hang Li Po' of which I was required to read for KOMSAS SPM. (or was it PMR?). Someone should write this kind of story. Someone who loves history and fiction. That someone seems familiar, LOL. 

Carry On

I was feeling a bit under the weather the day before my presentation. So right after I had finished working, I drove to the mall and bought myself an ice blended caramel coffee, headed to the bookshop and was delighted to find 'Carry On' by Rainbow Rowell sitting on the front shelf facing the entrance. 

I love Rainbow Rowell's books. I wish I could be Rainbow Rowell more than I could be JK Rowling. Carry On is like Rainbow Rowell's fan-fiction based on the famous Harry Potter series. I know that I could never be JK Rowling but Isn't it great to actually publish a fan-fiction based on Harry Potter? It shows how much you love Harry Potter. *sigh*. 

Buying books had long exerted this therapeutic effects on me. I have a towering pile of TBR books, but I kept on buying more. As long as it keep me happy and sane, then why not, right? 

I must continue writing. There was a point in my life where I actually thought of giving up on my dream to become a published writer and just focused on my daily job as a pharmacist. I had this thought that I would eventually end up as someone who would never get her dream as a published writer come true. 

Nope, I must work hard. Writing kept me sane during my tumultuous teenage years. It had since continued to make me sane till now. 

That's all from me. Gotta get back to reading. :)