Stress and anxiety relate with each other, the same goes
with depression, as there is the existence of the DASS (Depression Anxiety
Stress Scale) test, a psychological test that is used to measure your levels of
stress, anxiety and depression.
When taking the test, make sure that you are currently not
experiencing any recent events that had brought your mood to its lowest point,
like, recently failing an exam, having a breakup, etc. These events could
usually cause you stress, but not to the point of depression, unless the
subject taking this test had endured an extremely traumatic event and having a
long time to recover from it. The key is to assess whether you had been
experiencing the same feelings consistently for two weeks in a row, without any
trigger factors that lead to you feeling so. Ever had the feeling of
‘emptiness’ and ‘sadness’ but you couldn’t figure out what makes you sad?
I once had taken this test when I was having my PMS, and as
you can expect, the results showed that I have high levels of stress, anxiety
and depression, LOL.
If I had taken the same test today, the results might came
out different. I might have a normal levels of stress, anxiety and depression.
Because let’s face it, being a woman is difficult. You couldn’t control the
levels of hormones in your body. One day you’re feeling over the moon, and another
day you got irritated over silly things and felt ready to snap to everyone who
seemingly conspired to ruin your day.
But don’t worry. Everyone has their own stress. It’s how you
handle those stress that makes all the differences. Remember what Allah said, ‘Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it
can bear’ (Al-Baqarah 2:286). So when you experience stress, make it a
mantra saying that this feeling is just temporary. With Allah’s help, you can
get through this. Also, in the must-watch Japanese drama ‘Jin’, there is this main character who coined up the saying “God gives you challenges so that you could
overcome it!” So, try to look at your problems as challenges, and think of
ways of how you could get through those tests and challenges.
I watched Nouman Ali Khan’s video titled ‘A Life of Ease’ and he said that life
in this world is supposed to be hard. But it’s your level of faith that makes
it easy for you to undergo through those hardships. NOT to say that those suffering from depression have low level of
faith. Just like any other diseases, the psychiatric diseases is also derived
physiologically, with some people having more active receptors, lower levels of
serotonins, and etc. When hardships struck them, they couldn’t respond to these
hardships as normally as those with normal brain physiological functions could.
So they take each problem harder than
everyone else. Have pity for them. For us. I’m included in one of those
people, being extremely sensitive who takes offence at the slightest remark. I’m
trying to improve myself by not caring what people think. I don’t care.
So when I was a student, I was stressed at some points of my
life. I got stressed mainly because of my quizzes marks. Even when I had
managed to pass my quiz, I still got bummed over the average marks, comparing
myself with those high achievers. Thus, there were several things I did to
overcome my stress in university.
1. Drinking coffee.
This works, in a way. Placebo effect, I guess. Whenever I
got stressed, I would head to the cafeteria and bought a can of coffee, usually
a Nescafe Latte. Then I would sit somewhere, taking my time to sip the coffee
while gathering my thoughts. I felt better. I was inspired to do this after
watching a Japanese drama ‘Hotaru no
Hikari’ whereby Hotaru (played by Ayase Haruka) was severely scolded by her
boss for a mistake she had made. She drank several cans of beer during lunch
(how she managed not to get drunk, I never know) and gave herself a pep talk. Then,
she continued doing her job as though nothing happened. Obviously I couldn’t
drink beers or any alcoholic drinks so coffee is sufficient for me. LOL.
2. Searching for motivational quranic ayats
and tweeting about them.
I remember fearing that I might fail an exam paper after I
did rather poorly on the essay parts. Then I went on scouring through the
internet hoping that Allah will give me the strength and signs that I will not
fail the paper. So I came across this Quranic verse (can’t remember the exact
one) and I was really comforted after reading it, knowing that Allah will never
inflict unnecessary harms to His believers. I MUST SEARCH FOR THAT QURANIC
VERSE ! Then, another deep and meaningful Quranic verse from Surah-Al Baqarah’ verse 155 : “And We Will
surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and
lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient’. This makes me so
inspired, knowing that this feeling of fear is a test! He wants to know whether
I could overcome it! So, instead, of succumbing to my fear of failing, I
believe that there is still hope for me to pass the subject. Thus I studied all
night and did really well for my MCQ paper that when the results came out, I
passed the subject, Alhamdulillah!
3. Blogging/Writing
I used to blog regularly and frequently when I was a
student. Hahaha. Those who know me, know me. I am so glad that I created this
blog when I was 17 and that I had never stopped blogging since then. I just
regret deleting some of the old entries (because I was embarrassed of them)
rather than keeping them in drafts.
4. Going to the mosque and attending usrahs.
My favourite part. The UIA Mosque is just several hundred
metres away from my mahallah. Sometimes I walked alone to the mosque for
Maghrib prayers, staying until Isyak and reciting the Quran all by myself.
Sometimes I cried when reciting the Quran. Thank God nobody I know was around.
Haha.
One of the beautiful things about UIA is the existence of
usrahs. I miss my weekly usrah sessions whereby we would gather in the mosque
or at the park, reciting Quran, reflecting on the meanings of Quranic ayats, and
doing other beneficial activities that act as supplements to your soul.
5.
Jogging/running.
Again, I love the fact that I could jog comfortably several
rounds around the lake in front of my mahallah as there were no guys around.
Jogging makes me happy (and healthy!).
6. Called my mother.
She would usually give me pep talks when it comes to
academic matters. Because when I was a student, I had no other problems (no
boyfriends thus no relationship problems, my lecturers are nice as compared to
my nasty FRPs back when I was a PRP, I have friends, etc) other than
academic-related problems.
7. Go to the Library and read books.
The Leisure Section at the UIA Kuantan’s Public Library was
my favourite place of retreat. I would walk under the hot scorching sun just so
I could be with my books, who understand me better than anyone else, LOL.
So that was how I handled stress when I was a student.
Now when I’m a full-grown adult (LOL), I still experience
stress, mind you. That stress with the higher-ups, coworkers, KPIs and many others.
But whenever I felt sad and angry, I…
1. Tried looking at myself from an outsider’s
perspective aka counting your blessings.
Sometimes I compared myself with others.
Social media is really bad in that sense. I look at this girl and thought to
myself, I wish I’m that pretty. I look at that jet-setting person, and said, I
wish I have more time and money to travel. We are always looking up, yearning for
something other people have that we often forget to look down and forget that
for all the things we currently have are being coveted by the less fortunate people. I have a job with a well-paid salary! I have
a car, I have a phone, I have a comfortable place I could call home, I am not
suffering from any illnesses, and my parents are still alive and healthy. I
have this…I have that…Alhamdulillah for everything. Thus, counting your
blessings really help to bring you back up. There are many people who wish to
be in my place now. They wouldn’t mind going through the stress I have as long
as they have a job and money to pay through their daily expenses (eg FOOD). If
you have a place to live, even a phone where you could read this and scroll
through your instagram with, then you are really lucky and fortunate.
There is this patient with a tongue cancer
in my hospital. Imagine being in her position. If you removed your tongue, you
couldn’t taste food or speak. If you chose not to remove it, then it will
metastasize and eventually causing death. Be grateful that you have a tongue of
which you could taste food with, and speak with. Thus, take good care of your
tongue by only saying good things.
2. Watch motivational and inspiring videos
from youtube.
I watch Nouman Ali Khan’s lectures, taking
notes of the important points from each lecture, I watch videos on minimalism,
zero-waste, and self-improvements. I am currently addicted towards videos
showing you how to pack for a long trip, folding and fitting everything into a
single backpack.
3. Cleaning my room and decluttering.
This is very therapeutic. Whenever I feel
upset, I start pulling my bed sheet tautly, arranging my pillows, then moving
on to my desk, cupboard, bookshelf and dressing table, arranging and
rearranging everything. Then I would vacuum my room, open the windows to air
it, and spray the air freshener into my room. Sometimes I would even scrub my
bathroom floor and polish the mirrors and sink. Doing these make me feel
happier. Having more possession makes your mind cluttered and thus, as you
started decluttering your possessions and belongings, you declutter your mind
too.
4. Journaling
Before the age of blogspot, instagram,
Friendster or what nots, I chose to pour out my wreck-up emotional feelings onto my diaries.
Whenever I was dissatisfied with my mom (rebel!), I obviously couldn’t argue
with her (because moms are always right, kan?) So I
chose to pour it out in my diary. Gosh, I was such an angsty hormonal teenager back
then. I wish my future children would be very obedient. And I shall encourage
them to vent their anger in their own private diaries too.
Thus, journaling, writing diaries,
blogging, these same things, they had been a habit of mine since I was young.
Surely I couldn’t pour out everything online, so I chose to write them out into
my diaries, and talk to Allah about it.
5. Spending at least 10 minutes every day to
make prayers to Allah.
I mean, praying after your 5 obligatory
prayers. I was sometimes in a hurry to make prayers after solat. So I dedicated
my Subuh and my Maghrib prayers exclusively to pray extensively to Allah. I
would ask for so many things, I would pray for so many things, for so many
people, I tell him about my feelings, etc, and sometimes, when I least expect
it, tears would roll down. Because halfway through your prayer, you feel this
immense gratitude that Allah is there to listen to all your melodramas and
first-world problems and yet, He never judge you for it. He is As-Sami’ the
All-Hearing. So, just pour out your feelings towards Him, do it everyday. If
you couldn’t do it in Subuh or Maghrib, then just do it once in Isyak, before
you go to bed. Your life will change to a betterment, I can assure you!
So I make it a habit to tell and confide to
Allah about my problems. Thus, whenever I am at work, feeling stressed and
annoyed, I felt like I couldn’t wait to go home and sit in my room, couldn’t
wait to pray to Allah and tell Him about my problems. It’s a nice feeling!
6. Go out with your friends and housemates
Sure, you need time to be alone, but
sometimes, it helps to liven up your mood when you go out to have dinner with
your friends and housemates. Having great housemates is a blessing, and I thank
Allah for that, Alhamdulillah.
7. Taking care of yourself
Meaning, taking care of your health by
eating well, skipping sugary drinks and fast food. Then, jogging or running, frequent
face massage, making your own home spa in your bathroom, pampering yourself
with sheet masks that make your face glow. All these increase the dopamine
levels (dopamine: known as the happy hormone. It’s a type of neurotransmitter,
actually). You will feel healthier, prettier and thus happier!
8. Reading al-Quran everyday.
During the phase where I chose to recite
al-Waqiah every morning and al-Mulk every night (on top of the daily recitation
of al-Quran), I definitely felt happier. Al-Waqiah is a surah said to increase
providence and sustenance from Allah. The feeling of happiness is also a form
of rizq!
9. Going for a short retreat or just come back
home.
I really love Jason Mraz’s song ’93 million
miles’. ‘Just know, wherever you go, you can always come back home’. Thus I
make it a point to drive more than 300 km to my hometown every month as I miss
my parents and my siblings, and all the familiarity of home. Money doesn’t
matters when it comes to your family. The time you spent for them is simply priceless.
10. Read books
And of course, reading books! Reading had
been my first and most favourite hobby. Reading fictions is a good way to
reduce your anxiety as some stories could be very inspirational, with strong
characters who encourage you to never give up, to move forward, facing boldly
whatever challenges life throws at you. I also love reading historical books,
knowing that what I’m experiencing now is nothing like what those who had lived
during war-torn eras had gone through. It makes me grateful! So, read books! J
I hope all these help you in battling your
own stress and anxiety. Just know that every single human in this world had
stress, is having stress and is going to experience stress. Don’t look at the
social media to seek out the meaning of a perfect life because nobody’s life is
perfect. The seemingly perfect people are always choosing the good parts of
their lives to be displayed on social media. I mean, who would want to showcase
the bad things happening to them for all to know and see, right? As the saying
goes, good news are meant to be shared! Not the bad ones, of course.
I pray that you find the strength and
courage to find the solutions to your problems. Aameen.
P/S Writing about ways of how to handle
stress really helps to alleviate my stress and improve my mood as well!
