of rants and rambles

Assalamualaikum and a very good day to all. 

Wow, it had already been 5 weeks since I started working/lapor diri. Notice that I had removed my previous 3 posts about prp from this blog. Sorry for that. I just feel vulnerable and insecure. Hahaha. 

For the first 2 weeks of orientation, I had tried to put a brave show on how awesome and interesting the life of a prp is. Yeahh right! As if! Actually, since the beginning of the 2nd week, I had started to get more suffocated and constricted every single day because, well.... The life of a prp is not that easy and happy (duh! Lol). 

There had been tears shed almost every day (I've been told that it is normal), I'm emotionally, mentally and physically drained, and it's Allah who had given me strength since day to keep on moving forward, to carry on with my life. It depends on which hospital you got posted to, and the environment there la. 

I had shed 6 kilograms for the past 5 weeks, hahaha. I had been living in constant fear over many things. A simple mistake had been exaggerated and of course not everyone has the patience to deal with a newbie, slow, incompetent PRP. *sobs*. 

I had spent a night not sleeping at all until 8 in the morning at the hospital, 3 consecutive weekends with no weekend, get it? I had been dispensing methadone syrup for the drug addicts at AADK, I had been yelled at in front of the patients, lol, getting scolded, again and again, whatever la. And now I have one final week to be spent in OPD for me to complete my logbook, other tasks and exams. Failing to do so will lead to me getting extended for 2 weeks. T__T.

And the week after will be the first time of me having my TDM on-call. May there not be any case of PCM or salicylic poisoning during my on-call week. Hahahaa. Ameen. 

For now, persevere,  persevere and persevere. I could only confide all my feelings towards Allah. 

My wishlist for now:

1. To pass the first rotation of OPD

2. Start FBW and proceed through it smoothly and pass the rotation without any extension 

3. Successfully survived my TDM on-call week. 

4. PRP baru cepatlah masuk hospital nii....

5. PRP cepatlah sikit habisss...

6. My patients semua selamat sihat walafiat. 

7. I need a real weekend. Please. 

5 weeks done, 47 weeks to go. Setahun jeee..