Hidup di Perantauan (lah sangat!)

Written on the 13th of September 2011

“ Tau tak awak, perasaan homesick tu sangat menyakitkan?” Malizah, a friend of mine who’s currently studying in India told me when I said that she is very lucky to get the opportunity to study in oversea. The same goes with the other lucky lots who are now studying in countries like Australia, New Zealand, etc.

As for me, I’m only in Malaysia and yet I’m having this heavy emotional feeling of missing my parents, my siblings, home, Sungai Petani and the old 5 months daily routines that I had back then at home.

I really miss all that! I hate the fact that Kuantan is so bloody far away from Sungai Petani (almost takes a whole day journey to and fro).  If only the IIUM merge the health campus together with the art campus in Gombak, then life will be heavenly and delightful. L

Then I could be together with my brother, Syafiq who’s now in IIUM Gombak. My father works in Selangor and goes home every weekend to Kedah, often taking Syafiq with him. All the people that I love are in Kedah. As or me,  I’m stuck here at the end of Malaysia with bad wifi, no transport, broken washing machine, non functioning water filter and a mahallah that is situated at the end of UIA thus it is susceptible to having intruders lurking in. *sigh*. (my friend saw a bangladeshi man jumping down from the 2nd floor to ground floor of our mahallah at 5 something a.m) And that it is situated extremely far from the café and kulliyah.(LOL, over je). 

This is the worst homesick ever. The first one would be when I first stepped my foot to CFS PJ. It was my first time leaving home. But at least I have my grandaunt there. I could always call her and stay with her at weekends or short holidays. It gives me a sense of comfort to be with someone I’ve known for a long time.

Here. Okay, I have relatives here as well but I don’t really know them that well but whenever I wanted to go home, they could send me to the bus station. Still, I could not trouble them with minor matters only your parents could help you.

I MISS MY FAMILY! MY MOTHER AND HAZIQ, ESPECIALLY!

This is the 2^nd worst or probably the worst homesick I ever have because it’s now Day 2 and yet I’ve been silently crying in my compartment every late afternoon. I guess it’s because I’m sick. I’ve been sick since Thursday last week. High Fever+flu+vomiting. Right now my thermoregulator is not functioning well and I keep on coughing. I’m having emotional instability. It’s like PMS.  Sometimes I have the mood and spirit to study sometimes I just could not care less.

I could not call my mother because I’m afraid I’ll cry.

I’m positive my fever has everything to do with this.

To think again, those who study overseas, I salute you all.

Those poor unfortunate souls in Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan and those who have been stripped off their normal lives, my sympathy goes towards you.

Those who lost their parents and family members, I don’t know how you could cope with this matter. I couldn’t even stand being apart with my mother for TWO DAYS!

Of course, I have Allah. He will take care of me here. He will take care of my family. Amin.

My stomach is rumbling out of hunger (oh, will you be quiet tak payah nak manja-manja sangat as I've fed you during lunch, dinner and now breakfast okay!) and my head is spinning a bit (still recovering from the fever).

Forgive my stomach as it is currently experiencing 'culture shock' due to the lack of food here in Kuantan. Lambat sikit pegi cafe, makanan habis, hmpphh! Mahal pulak tu! Duduk rumah tak pernah kekurangan makanan, dahlah boleh tambah ikut sesuka hati. Free pulak tu! Lepas tu hujung minggu mesti cakap je 'Abah, nak makan tose masala!' mesti Abah akan tunaikan punya! *sobs*.

It's no use to lament the things that happened in the past. Let's just move on. Another SEVEN weeks to be spent here before hari raya! *faint*