Stairs

Written during exam week (can't remember exactly when). Taken from my journal. 

I dreamed about stairs again. In fact, I have had countless dreams about stairs. 

In those dreams, I was really reluctant (AFRAID!) to take even another step up or down the stairs.

Why oh why?

Those stairs were depicted as being situated at a very high level, and there were spaces between each step where you could see the ground which further gives you acrophobia ( irrational fear of height) or just plain altophobia (fear of high places).

Macam mana kalau jatuh? Macam mana kalau kaki patah? Macam mana? Macam mana? Tinggi tahu!

What's more, the open spaces between each step are very WIDE. It's like, you'd have to leap or jump to reach to the next step.

Often have I succeeded in moving on to the next step, no matter how wide those spaces are, no matter how scary it was if you looked down, realizing that you're way too far from the ground. 

So last night, I dreamed of going to class with some of my close friends. On the way to our class, we had to climb up a series of stairs (that are widely spaced) up the way to the topmost rung.

I held on to the railings of the stairs firmly and ascended the stairs, trembling because of the height.

And voila! All of us reached the top of the stairs, where there was some sort of a landing. I reached there first. The stairs did not end there even thought it was the topmost step. In order to reach the class/ lecture hall, you were required to move another step DOWN.
 "Oh, no way!". The space between the landing and that lower step was very big. 

I couldn't do it! I thought, as I looked down to the ground between the space of the top landing and lower landing. My roommate, Dibah asked me 'Sarah? Kenapa tak jalan lagi?'

I said to her sadly 'Tak boleh! Aku takut!'

'Seriously Sarah?' bukan dah selalu guna ke tangga ni?

I felt like I should just descend the series of widely spaced stairs again and take the elevator instead. Anything but this, THE LEAP. But then again, I was scared of going down the stairs! 

Dibah then leaped to the lower landing with ease. Upon seeing her did that, I decided to try to take the leap. I told her 'Eh tunggu, tolong aku!' and she waited for me.

I slowly sat on the upper landing and I tried to reach the edge of the lower platform using my legs. Satisfied then, I quickly released myself. I almost fell, but Dibah caught my hands and I successfully landed on the lower landing.

As I looked behind, I realised that there were many people waiting to 'take the leap' as well. It's as though my indecisiveness kept them on hold. LOL. 

Dibah and I then walked through the door that was situated at the end of the lower landing and the rays of sunshine greeted us (I'm not kidding!) 

The dream intrigues me. What if this is a sign from Allah? I know I'm being ridiculous. But everything happens for a reason, am I right? There's no such thing as a coincidence, even if it's a dream (at least I think so, because this dream had been recurrent).

Climbing up, afraid of falling to the ground
Climbing up with fear, with every effort and courage I could muster
Nevertheless, the 'dream me' managed to reach to the top.
But that was not my true goal. To be so high up, far from the ground.
That is why I wasn't given any choice. It's either stay there or go down to reach your destination.

It was there. I need to jump! (in my case, I slowly go down) to the lower landing to reach for the door (my ultimate goal). Please note that the door was not situated at the top landing but instead, at the lower landing.

visual aid (because I'm really bad in describing T___T)

Sometimes, true happiness, your goals and dreams might not be achieved on the topmost level. For example, being the richest, most famous, cleverest, prettiest, in other word, by being THE BEST.

True happiness might be situated a bit lower than that level. Above the middle level, almost to the top. Well, it depends on people. At least that's how I interpret it.
Maybe Allah is trying to tell me that ultimate happiness is not by being the BEST. It's suffice to be AMONG the best, and that you are surrounded with people that you love and love you.
But then of course, you'd have to give your best, take your chances, carefully, not impulsively (or else you might fall to the ground) and NEVER GIVE UP.

Whatever it is, move on.
No matter how hard it is, no matter how uncertain you are of the future. No matter how big those gaps between the stairs is, just climb up slowly, carefully.

Don't just stay at the same place.
In life, there comes a time when you'll have to take chances.
Take a risk to move on towards your goal.
Or if you don't dare to take the risk, you'll just stay where you are.

Looking at the people behind me, I feel a sense of pride within myself for being able to take the leap, the chance.
Are those people feeling apprehensive on taking the leap?
Or are they just waiting patiently for me to take the leap so that they could move on? LOL.

Yes, work hard, Sarah!

On the other hand,

I'm off to this place, staying there for 8 days. Hint: The place of the second tallest building in the world.
Please pray for the safety of our 8-days journey there. Pergi dan pulang dengan selamat, insya-Allah. :)

With that, may peace be upon you! 

Al-Baqarah verse 155

 “Berilah khabar gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar, iaitu orang-orang yang ketika musibah, mereka berkata; Sesungguhnya kita adalah milik Allah dan kepada-Nya kita kembali.” (Al-Baqarah ayat 155 )

Yup, Alhamdulillah!

Just got my results. I'm happy!!! Kegembiraan bukan datang daripada result yang gempak, tapi datang daripada kesyukuran. 

Alhamdulillah again. Nampak sangat Allah tolong. Betul! If you asked from Him, if you just have FAITH in Him, he'll help you!

Again, I couldn't believe it. My prayers had been answered. Diri yang banyak dosa ini pun Allah sayang, Allah makbulkan doa. I feel soooo.... touched! :')

Bersyukur tak bermaksud being complacent with what I have. I have to work more! Work harder! We need to have this certain degree of dissatisfaction with ourselves, with our own efforts. At the same time, give thanks to Allah for the results!! :D

RT @ShahilaShaifful "Yang penting bukan Dean's List, tapi Deen's List, I'd have to agree on that!". 

...... and If your prayer is not answered, He has something better for you. 

One thing for sure, He will never let you walk away empty-handed, feeling disappointed. If only you believe in Him. :) 

Pulau Payar aka Pulau takde Freshwater

Assalamualaikum, hello there!

Okay so, my mom's school's Persatuan Sejarah dan Geografi organized an educational trip to Pulau Payar Marine Park. It is located within the vicinity of Teluk Benggala , situated near Pulau Langkawi. My mom tagged along bringing yours truly, and my three brothers Syafiq, Danial and Haziq. My father and sister couldn't come. The five of us plus other schoolteachers with their family members, also 100 students from Form 3-Form 6. So ramai gila orang. (Guna simple English je malas nak check grammar dan google words). 

That 'important person' said this particular island is called 'Payar' because there is no natural fresh water available on the island. And thus, we have spent 3 days bathing in seawater that leaves your body feeling sticky afterwards.  When you turned on the water pipes, clear water would come out but don't be deceived by its look because as you tasted it, it was salty!! HAHA.

Oh yes, the rate is RM200 per person for 3 days and 2 nights. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, provided. For the ladies, you could choose to sleep in the closed area of information centre-of which they said could be quite hot and musty at nights (plus with the 50+ students of various races and religions- aurat, aurat) or you could live your life in the nomad way, aka sleeping in tents, of which we (my family and I) did. 

The tourists who came from Pulau Langkawi had to pay RM100 for just a 4-5 hours stay at Pulau Payar. Ok fine, expensive. But still worth it la. T__T

BABY SHARKY!!!! 

Five stars hotels overlooking the sea...

 Walking along this track, and you'll find,

Abandoned old hotels at its end... O__o

And a really nice private, secluded beach!!!

Three musketeers...

POSE!!!

SWIM! 

POSE!!!

POSE AGAIN!

POSE!! My favourite picture!! xD

Small fishies, if you look closely. 

Nampak cetek tapi sebenarnya dalam okay!!! Especially waktu air pasang.

 I only took pictures of them snorkelling on the 3rd day. I've had my fun share snorkelling from morning till evening the day before. All of us went hiking up the Pulau Payar's Hill and went to the Langkawi Corals. While swimming along the rope, I could see the corals beneath me and I even beckoned over to touch them. Hehe.

This is not the first time of us snorkelling. So, we are kind of experienced in this. Acece. Thus explains why Haziq, my 8 years old bro was so confident swimming up to the deep places in the sea with his brothers.

Syafiq even wanted to take a scuba diving license. I wanted to but I feel that it is not necessary. At least not for me.

To tell the truth, it is quite difficult for the girls to go camping in places like this. You share toilets with 50 other people, soaking wet in seawater (no fresh water, remember?) your hair sticks together and your scalp itches. Of course, you couldn't go around sitting by the beach and let the wind dried up your hair. Yup, aurah. So I suggest that you cut your hair really short to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

Even when you sleep in a tent, wearing a long sleeved T-shirt and pants is a must. You need to open the tent to let the wind comes in because it was really hot at night. People will walk to and fro, passing in front your tent. So, cover your face/head with towel or just wear tudung la.

Your feet are wet and there is sand between your toes, so quite uncomfortable to wear socks right? So buy a fully covered Crocs- like shoes. Beli sandal ASADI je. HAHA. Or just wear socks after you cleaned your feet. Wearing socks can prevent sand from accumulating between your toes. It makes your feet clean! I really want a plastic socks!!!

Nevertheless, I didn't complain at all throughout my stay there. I like this kind of thing. Adventures. It had been quite a long time since I went camping. The last time was in 2004. At the foot of Gunung Jerai. Kem Kepimpinan Pengawas.

Freshwater is so valuable and precious there. This experience taught you not to use water unnecessarily and to be grateful with what you have. Try picturing our fellow Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine living in conditions worse than this.

I often woke up in the morning feeling dry, dehydrated, thirsty! But oh, no freshwater. The only solution is to buy the mineral water there, which costs a freaking RM3 for a SMALL bottle! Oi, mentang-mentangla ni pulau takde fresh water hang nak charge mahal mahal pulak.

Oh yes, silalah buat LASIK Surgery atau Ortho-K treatment jika anda rabun macam saya kerana ianya menyukarkan pergerakan dan quite impossible lah kan nak pakai contact lens dalam khemah dan dalam tandas yang dikongsi 100 orang. Pakai contact lens waktu snorkeling oi bahaya tahu tak seawater masuk mata pun dah pedih.

Tapi nasib baik saya masih boleh nampak dan bukan rabun teruk sangat sampai terlanggar tunggul (kalau ada tunggul) waktu jalan. Alhamdulillah.  

Next time my mom wanted to bring us (the whole family) to:

Pulau Tioman!!!! CANTIK!!!  Confirm ada freshwater!!! Yup, I tak pernah pergi Pulau Tioman. You dah pernah pergi ke? Tahniah!!

Cuti-Cuti Malaysia je. It's cheaper and affordable. :D 

Distinction

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. 

I love this quote, SO MUCH! Allah is testing me right now. Currently, I'm not just taking the Pharmacy final examination, I'm taking the exam of 'Iman-Trust and Belief' as well.

Even if I do not get what I want in the former exam, I hope I could get distinction in the latter which is much more important.

Come what may, I will always love Allah and Rasulullah more, more than good grades and CGPA, more than everything else in this world, insya-Allah. 

Thing goes up, thing goes down, but at least Allah is always around. 

I could always rely on the words of Allah. Words from Allah to His believers. To comfort us whenever we're in distress. To let us know that He is always there for us.

"...sungguh, Allah mencintai orang yang bertawakal," (Ali-Imran: 159)

"Jika Allah menolong kamu, maka tidak ada yang dapat mengalahkanmu, tetapi jika Allah membiarkan kamu (tidak memberi pertolongan), maka siapa yang dapat menolongmu selepas itu? Kerana itu, hendaklah kepada Allah saja orang-orang mukmin bertawakal," (Ali-Imran: 160)

" Dan milik Allah-lah kerajaan langit dan bumi; dan Allah Maha Kuasa atas segala sesuatu," (Ali-Imran 189).

"Sesungguhnya keadaan-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu Dia hanya berkata kepadanya, "Jadilah!" maka jadilah sesuatu itu (Yassin:82). 

Yes, He is just testing me. Insya-Allah, I'll be strong. Please make me strong dear Allah.

Again,

Whatever it is, whatever happens, you have Allah. Remember that, Sarah. 

May Peace be Upon You! 

P.S. SIX subjects for MCQ tomorrow!!! The final battle!!! Please pray for me, thank you and may you be blessed always! 

'THE LEAP'

Interpret the picture above.

Hint: How I Met Your Mother Final Episode Season 4.