As said by Ten

The year 2016 marks the 26th year of me living on Earth (Not Gallifrey, LOL)  and what have I really achieved? Okay, let's minus the first 20 years of my life as I was clueless on what to do back then and just went with the flow. So, that leaves us with 6 years, and what have I done with these 6 years? 

(LOL of course I had achieved some things that I am proud of (like I got a well-paid job that I begin to love) but I couldn't just be complacent right? I want more. The Slytherin trait is strong in me. And Ravenclaw. Oh whatever. )

But then, I think I was still clueless at the age of 20 onward, and I still think I am a bit lost presently. But I had begun to see what the future holds, though it was quite ambiguous and vague, I'm slowly getting there. Let's hope it will become clearer and crystal clear as time passes by. 

I think the biggest mistake I had made in my life so far was that I was always in a rush towards getting things done and to achieve MANY of my dreams and that makes those dreams not getting achieved at all. Get what I mean? Simply said, I wanted too many things at the same time. 

But now that I had learned my lesson, I must take one step at a time. Pick a dream out of those numerous dreams. The number one dream. Work towards making it into a reality. Then move on to the second dream. Repeat. 

I often thought that it would be superb if I managed to achieve ALL of them when I was still young and energetic. I thought that becoming older might deter those dreams that I harbour. For example, I MUST learn and master the German language by 30. I pushed myself too hard, it gets boring and hard and eventually, I quit learning it and that I moved on towards achieving the next dream, which is to play drum. HAHA. Then the same thing happened. Those are just examples by the way. You can try to do many things at the same time. But consistency is the key towards success. And I am often inconsistent with my efforts. 

And I lost my train of thought, LOL. Well actually, the stuff that is on my mind is a bit personal to be written out here and read by the public. I'll just continue writing about it on my journal then. Okay, till then! 

Mixed up and Mashed up

In 2011, when Pottermore was introduced to the world, I got sorted into Ravenclaw. I was disappointed at first, as my preference back then was Gryffindor. 

But over the years, as I began to learn about my own traits and personalities, I began to discover more about myself and that I realized that I am indeed, more of a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor. I identified with most of the traits of a Ravenclaw, as written in many articles and blogs that discussed the traits of the four houses of Hogwarts. 

5 years later, I decided to retake the sorting hat test to see whether I am still a Ravenclaw or whether my personalities changed over the years leading to the change in my Hogwarts House. 

And aha, I got Slytherin! Freaking Slytherin. I was dissatisfied. I know that Slytherins are those mostly ambitious lots who  craved for power and greatness. Even though I had to accept this bitter news, deep inside me, I know that it's true. I had grown ambitious over the years and after witnessing many bad things and injustice that happened around me and around the world, I feel so helpless, wishing that I have the power to change the world. 

I wasn't satisfied. I logged in with another email and I got, guess what? a Gryffindor. WHAT? Instead of being happy that I got sorted into a house that I initially have preference to, I felt sad to know that my 'Ravenclaw' personality is slowly slipping away from me, or is it not?

I finally did my third Sorting Hat test and got sorted to Ravenclaw pheww. 

But anyway, I guess my true traits lie somewhere between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Wisdom and power if combined, could really make huge differences to this world, isn't it?

Anddd... JK Rowling had written about a new Magic School located in North America. The Ilvermony School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

I answered the questions and got sorted into Thorned Serpent. And I was disappointed. I really thought that I was a Slytherin through and through. Until I learned that Thorned Serpent has more of the characteristics of a Ravenclaw. Or that it combines the traits of both Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Well, that makes me satisfied.

Until I decided to log in to my old and first Hogwarts House- Ravenclaw and took the Ilvermony sorting test again. 

I got sorted into Thunderbird, which 'Represents the Soul' and 'Favours Adventures'. What, now I'm more like a Gryffindor now? Perhaps my current mood affected the result of this test. I am feeling rather homesick and rather sick of staying in this place. I want to go home. I need to escape. LOL. 

So, in conclusion, my personality is made up of 3 Hogwarts Houses combined which equal to 2 Ilvermony Houses. 

I am a Ravenclaw, a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. 

I am a Thorned Serpent and a Thunderbird. 

Based on the major traits of these houses, I am supposed to be someone intelligent, ambitious and adventurous. Well, I guess it's okay. Gotta live up to these traits I guess. Hahaha.

And five minutes later....

I took another Ilvermony quiz and I got sorted into Pukwudgie. Represents Heart. Favours Healers. LAUGH OUT LOUD.

THE END. 

Torchbearers Leading the Way

Mun, Fatin and I were on our way back to Pasir Puteh after meeting up with Ira in Kota Bharu. Along the way, we started having conversation about our life in CFS IIUM and IIUM Kuantan. We talked about the classes there, the lecturers, the ghost stories and many other fond memories we had in those two places that are special in our hearts. 

I talked about the miserable Taaruf Week held in June 2008, where we had to stand under the hot scorching sun, singing the 'CFS song' again and again as ordered by our merciless seniors, the taaruf committees. 

In fact, I still remember that one memorable week. 

It was my first time away from my family. I mostly spent the hours left crying. Crying in the car, crying in my great aunt's house, crying in the restaurant, crying when walking to the mahallah with my family members carrying my bags, crying when they bid me farewell, leaving me in a strange place with unfamiliar faces (NO ONE from my old school. NO ONE). 

I cried as I sorted out my stuffs in that tiny room of which I had to spend one year of my life in. I only stopped crying when my roommate entered my room, LOL. In short, it was a week of crying. Well, not really. I only cried on the first night there. I later made friends with many people and the feeling of homesickness slowly disappeared. 

Back to our conversation in the car. We tried to recall the lyrics of the CFS song. The opening line, the first sentence, to no avail. We only remembered the famous chorus "We are the Torchbearers for the Ummah, (for the Ummah!)" hahaha. 

Mun searched for the song on youtube and as soon as I heard the opening music, I began to sing "Let us come along and get together," to which Mun and Fatin exclaimed 'Aha! That's it!' and what do you know, the three of us sang the song together in the car with so much spirit, each of our mind playing the memories of our lives in CFS. 

Let us come along and get together

Affirm our faith in God and the Messenger

Light the flame of love in Him, warm and brighter

Hold the rope, and trust in Him forever

Divided we will (we’ll) fall, United we stand

Unity bears the fruit of unification

Triple I.C.E is ever our mission

Excellence in all we do is our vision

Chorus:-

We are the torchbearers, for the Ummah

Guided by the Qur’an and Sunnah

Foundation Centre of IIUM

Gateway to the Garden of Knowledge and Virtue

Divided we will (we’ll) fall, United we stand

Unity bears the fruit of unification

Triple I.C.E is ever our mission

Excellence in all we do is our vision

The music was so familiar, so close to our hearts.The lyrics greeted us like an old friend. It seemed like it was just moments ago that we gathered at the field in front of UKC for the Taaruf Week opening night, taking our bai'ah as fellow students of CFS IIUM. I remember walking from one place to another, rushing for the next class located at a different building, I remember our weekly trips to Jaya One, Metro Bus no 12 and City Liner no U95 taking us to Mid Valley Megamall. I remember studying for exams, the Al-Malik Faisal Hall usually being our main examination venue. I remember the Annex building, the library, the tiring hike up to the 4th floor of Mahallah Zainab after coming back from an outing, the infamous Pakcik Guard Misai, LOL. 

The song ended. We smiled in satisfaction. But we were not done reminiscing the memories yet. I searched for the IIUM Main Campus song. "Leading the Way' and played it for the three of us to sing. 

I love this song. The first time I sang it was during the Opening Night of Taaruf Week held in the auditorium of Kulliyyah of Medicine. They showed the video clip of this song, of which a scene shows an IIUM graduate receiving the scroll from the Chancellor on stage during convocation. I didn't know why I felt  attracted to that one particular scene. The way the song weaved in with that scene made me felt so inspired. I was only about to start my first year degree and yet I couldn't wait for the day where I will finally graduate from IIUM with my Bachelor of Pharmacy. 

And the last time we sang this song was during our convocation day. Us in our convocation robes, marching into the hall with our parents proudly smiling at the sight; for after 4 years, we had finally finished our degree and had officially graduated as students of IIUM! In fact, as we were the only degree holders on that day (the rest being the Masters' Degree holders),we were the ones who sang this song the loudest and with most gusto. It was such a beautiful song. 

So, presently, 2 years after the convocation (with one year plus of harrowing working experiences), the three of us sang this song again. 

Lets lead the way

Enlighten the future

Share the wisdom

Through the spirit of Islam

Revelation and Reason

We shall excel, we shall prevail

Merging faith and knowledge

We 're the khalifah

We will fulfill the Amanah

Chorus:

Together,

We make the world a better place

Forever,

Expand the culture of Iqra

IIUM,

Is to realise, the meaning of

Rahmatan lil-Alamin

I don't know why. My eyes got all watery as I sang this verse. And I realised I wasn't alone. Mun suddenly started shedding her tears, overwhelmed by this familiar old feeling and the beauty of the very meaningful lyrics. I was surprised. I laughed at first. But tears started streaming down my cheeks too. We finished the song. 

Together,

We make the world a better place

Forever,

Expand the culture of Iqra

IIUM,

Is to realise, the meaning of

(Mercy to all the worlds)

For all mankind

After 2 years leaving UIA, we had finally realized the meanings of this song. Singing this song again reminded us of the amanahs that had been entrusted upon us, beginning with the taaruf week when we started our journey as IIUM students there and finally during the convocation day, when we were officially leaving IIUM to serve the mankind (as what this song denotes) armed with what IIUM had taught and given us. This song keeps on reminding us of who we are, the purpose of our journey, the meaning of being an IIUM student. 

Life after graduation is really different from life as a student of IIUM. I miss the sheltered environment we had back then. Almost everyone was treating everyone with kindness and respect, no bullying whatsoever, no cases of double standards or discrimination. At least, not that I had heard of or experienced. But in the working life, I have to admit, you have to be emotionally and physically strong. You are no longer a student. You have to make your own decisions, you have to face your own problems. Your parents couldn't help you if you have problems at work, your lecturers are not there to guide you. You will encounter many sorts of people from different backgrounds, with different attitudes that might irk you sometimes, those people who looked at you differently just because you have different opinions on what is right or wrong (you know, being an IIUM student and such, people might perceive you as being narrow-minded). Whether you like it or not, you have to be strong, force yourself to be strong and take up the challenges that life had thrown towards you. 

You will feel stressed and frustrated when things don't go in your way. You will feel that other people are being unfair, what's with you doing most of the job and them, just relaxing and goyang kaki most of the time. 

With you once being an IIUM student, you might have a different perception towards life. You believe in the concept of 'Keberkatan'. Whatever you do, you must do it right. You must not slack off. You must come to work on time. You must not cheat. You will rather own up and face the consequences of your mistakes rather that lying about it. You were paid to do your job. It's okay if everyone else didn't do much as you did, but you have to do it anyway, because you don't want the salary that is given to you every month be tainted with 'Ketidakberkatan', meaning that Allah is not pleased with you. 

You must learn to accept that this world is not perfect. The same goes with everything in it. The people, the workplace. You can't change others. But you have to stick to your own principles and identities. You are an IIUM graduate. Your university had given you the amanah to change the world. For you to spread the good virtues of Islam and to fulfil the purpose of your existence, which is to become a Khalifah on Earth. 

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever you feel emotionally tired or  physically drained, remember the amanah that had been given to you. The amanah that Allah had commanded you to fulfil. That is your goal in life. 

As we reached home, we talked about how grateful we are, to had been studying in IIUM.  

I am very grateful for this. I don't know who will I end up as, if I were to go to other places (like overseas, maybe? Perhaps Allah had known that my iman back then wasn't strong enough for me to resist the temptation of life outside and so He didn't grant me the chance to study there back then). IIUM had moulded me to become someone better, inside out. The strict rules that were once so strange and foreign to us had now become our everyday norms. For example, wearing socks to cover your feet whenever you went outside, and wearing tudung that covers your chest when what you usually did back then at school was just to 'selempang' your tudung right and left. And oh, wearing handsocks too. Not forgetting to observe the ikhtilat between the brothers and sisters. There were various posters on this issue back in UIA, LOL. 

I miss walking to the mosque for prayers, and to join the usrahs, talks and forums that act as supplements to our souls. I really miss this kind of environment. I really do. IIUM is the place where I learned to know and get closer to my Creator, to the point of experiencing the feeling of loving Him. (But you must be consistent in your effort to experience and gain this love. Iman asyik naik turun, you know). The place that taught me to be fully dependent on Him, the place where I experienced his Love and Him answering my prayers and pleas. When I was at school, I never thought that I would go to IIUM, until I did. 

My brother had mostly bad experiences in IIUM, but I'm glad that I had mostly experienced sweet memories there. 

So come on torchbearers, remember the amanah. And let's lead the way! May our Iman keeps on increasing and may our heart never wavers from remembering Him. Ameen. 

Second Post from GM

Life in GM is quite a mundane one, and most weekends are mainly spent in my room, doing various activities an introvert usually do, like reading, writing, reading again, watching and re-watching favourite series on my battered 8 years old laptop. 

There isn't much to do here. Fatin and I would usually roam around Econjaya or TMG, the two closest things you could call a mall here, LOL. Our favourite activities include wandering aimlessly inside Watsons and coming out from there with our hands full of various beauty products and makeups, and just talking about life and various other random things. 

At least I am grateful that I have my UIA friends here with me. 

There is a small public library here, of which I hadn't visited yet. This place is an hour away from Cameron Highlands. GM is originally inhabited by the aboriginals, many of them are still living deep in the suburbs with no electricity. GM is located 3 hours away from KB, and the closest town is Kuala Krai, located one and a half hours away. 

I'm currently working in the hospital as a ward/clinical pharmacist. I love my job so far, and it's definitely better than my life as a PRP in Penang. There are some issues here and there, but I am learning not to complain too much about what couldn't be changed (eg. people's attitudes and work ethics) and just focus on what I can change. 

It's sad to realize that I now have less interest in blogging and that I had ran out of things to talk about. I remember the early days of blogging, where I registered anything interesting that happened to me during the day, thinking that it would be a good topic for blogging, even constructing the sentences in my head before I went to my room and typed those sentences on my laptop. 

And I feel lazy to upload pictures to my blog. LOL. 

Is it true that the blogging era is over? Most famous bloggers I know had stopped blogging but continued to spread their legacies and popularity through other social network sites such as instagram and snapchat, mostly the former. 

As for me, I do admit that I had been blogging quite rarely as compared to the old days, but it doesn't mean that I had stopped writing entirely. I had instead chosen to express my innermost thoughts onto paper, where only I can read and reflect on what had been written. This is safer and I feel happier. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I had reverted back to the conventional method of documenting my daily life, which is by writing on my journals. 

But fear not for the possibility of me shutting down this blog. This blog is precious to me. I shall continue to write on this blog, whenever I feel inspired to, haha. 

That's all for now. Adieu!