of Relationship with Him...

Thinking about my life throughout these years from the moment I've been introduced into this world and until now, I realized that Allah really loves me so much. He had given me a wonderful family with healthy/amazing parents and siblings, I am born without any mental or physical disabilities, I am bestowed with the gift of a good brain (only that I do not fully utilize it and that is entirely my fault, haha) that I could pursue my studies up to the tertiary level. I am so blessed! You know, out of 7 billion world population, he had picked me to be amongst the fortunate ones, giving me everything that I need, and of course it is for a solid reason.

Now,what have I done so far to reciprocate His love towards me? I know that with all the good things he had given me, there must be something that He wished I would think and reflect of. The 'good things' served to ease my path towards what had been written for me. Everything is ready, but it is me who is not moving. 

Perhaps because I am being complacent. Unlike Malala Yousafzai, education was given to me instead of me seeking for it. I was born in a country which emphasizes on the importance of education (especially for women) instead of the one which banned the education for girls and women. I am so ashamed with myself.

The best thing to do right now is to focus on my relationship with Allah. I must please Allah in every aspect, in every single moment in my life. Whenever I am about to do something, I would ask myself "Would Allah approve of this?". I fully realized the importance of a strong relationship with my Creator. He is the Provider, the Compeller, the Bestower of Peace, the Bestower of Honour, the Protector, and soo many other attributes from all the 99 of His beautiful and magnificent names (Asma al Husna). 

As for now, I have found the answer to my question. How could I reach the place which He wanted me to go? That place is Jannah of course. 

The answer is straightforward, simple and that everyone knows about it, but not everyone realizes the importance of it: To do everything sincerely because of Him. 

When I attempt to please Allah, I would work hard, solely because of Him, and not because of other non-powerful human beings. I would not do anything that could invoke His wrath, as this could damage our relationship. I've just realized that whenever I had done something bad (and that I feel veerrryyy bad afterwards), He does not directly punish me. He loves me so much that He wanted me to repent to Him. 

I admit that there were times when my imaan was up and down, and when I was in the 'down moment', I feel so lonely and helpless. There is this hole in my heart that can't filled with anything else other than my love towards Allah. I want to love Him again, I want to experience the feeling of being in love with Him, again, just like during my 'up moments'. And so, I went back towards His embrace, and I feel ashamed with myself, for doing this over and over again. But I am reminded of the fact that I am not a prophet or a messenger. I am just a human being that is not maksum (pure/free from sin). I know that Allah wanted me to go back towards Him, just like a loving mother who would always welcome her children no matter what wrong things they had committed. 

So, let's just please Allah and no one else. Human beings would never be pleased. Allah looks at our efforts while the humans judge us by our achievements/results.
Memorize the meanings of the 99 names of Allah. He has ALL the attributes of which if you really understand each one of them, it would help you survive in this temporary, imperfect world. 

With that, may peace be upon you and may you have a great blessed day ahead! :)