Of running

So, my friends and I joined the iPhA-Race and we got...

Number SEVEN out of EIGHT!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You know, the result is expected since the beginning. Not just us, but the other teams as well. 

We have never been that athletic but we ran quite far, and quite fast. 

I've never realized that I love running so much. 

So, yeah. It's just a disappointment that we couldn't prove to others that we the non-athletic people could do it. 

It's a double disappointment that we could not answer the questions given to complete the crossword puzzle. We arrived quite early at the finishing line, but we couldn't solve the crossword puzzle. The questions ranged from the 1st year till the 4th year.

What's more, the clue for the first station is ABSURD! Who on earth would rest at the Talhah Gazebo before going to the Kulliyyah of Pharmacy? Except for the gardeners and workers of course!

Anyway, let's just say that the top 3/top 5 places were not meant for us. 

I don't know, I'm disappointed with myself for being embarrassed with our position. We literally ran to the mahallah when they were about to announce the winners for the race, LOL. 

Someone told us that a brother from our group took the hamper on our behalf. Now why can't we just be proud of our own achievement? We have done our best, we have ran the fastest that we could, we have fully utilized each of our own mental capacity. 

And when we did not win, and that we got the 2nd last place, we mourned instead. We got embarrassed. I mean, it's ME who got embarrassed.  How I really wished that I could walk confidently with my head held high, taking the hamper and give my biggest smile. 

It's because I hate losing. I hate failures or anything that does not define 'success'. I am ashamed to say that the undesirable Chinese trait had ran in my blood. Kiasu-ness. My aunt said that Kiasu-ness runs in our family (my Singaporean mother's side). I can't help being kiasu though I am not in any position whatsoever to become one. 

And Luna told me that I am a perfectionist. I never realized I was. Then it hit me, I am actually a perfectionist! T__T

Is perfection everything? Does the top position mean everything to me? Do I really need to prove my self-worth to everyone in the form of a measly competition like this? Or any other worldly competition? Do I really need to jump into the bandwagon of the 'rat race'?

Another thing is that I hate being competitive, and losing in the competition that I've created myself. 

The wise people said that in every life's event, there is a lesson to be learned. Well, I have learned my lesson. Now it's time for the 'practical exam'. The 'practical exam' will happen sooner or later, and I hope that I will be prepared by that time. I'm scared of 'practical exams'. I hope it does not involve my studies. T__T 

I realized that there's so much that I need to change in myself. No no, as perfectionist as I am, I can't become a perfect person. No one could. It's just that when life throws lessons towards us, we know that those lessons are meant to be learned. Sometimes, we could just embrace our imperfections! For example, I hate my 'spontaneity'! 

Good day to you all.