A Writer

I watched 'Full House' (2004) again, for the umpteenth time.But it is only this time that I managed to relate myself with the main character, Han Ji-Eun, played by Song Hye Gyo.

Han Ji-Eun is described as being an 'aspiring scriptwriter'. In the drama, she said that she had written internet novels. She is portrayed as being rather dramatic, often using exaggerated plots and dialogues in her stories. Her works are often rejected by the publishers,and at one time, she had received a severe criticism from one of them regarding her works. 

In this drama series, I love the parts where they showed her writing constantly until late at night when she slept at the computer table just to finish her stories. And how her stories had to be revised and edited many times before she could produce a masterpiece that was eventually adapted into a movie. 

I love to watch the stories about struggling artists, especially about writers. I was always cheering for them, knowing that things will turn out great for them one day (or at least, in the last episode!) And it suddenly dawned into my mind that I could also be perceived also a struggling writer. Hahaha. 

The funny thing is, I had never called myself a writer. I said that I love writing, and that I write some stuffs. But to call myself a 'writer'? Never. To me, the word 'writer' is something sacred, and that you're not worthy to be called/call yourself a writer unless you are JK Rowling or that you had published at least an article in a major newspaper/magazine. Thus, I had never introduced myself as a writer to anyone because the first question that they would ask is 'Oh, which newspaper company do you work for?', 'Do you write anything?; 'Did you publish a book or something?'

When I checked the dictionaries (online) on the definition of a 'writer', these are stated:

Free Online Dictionary 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary 

Both defined the word 'writer' as someone writes stuffs professionally. Like, as a job. 

The definition of a 'writer' in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is more broad, saying that a writer is 'someone who has written something'.

'Someone who has written something'? Well, I had written something. 

Fine, if you insist on asking questions on things I actually achieved as a writer,  I could say that I once wrote for the University's newspaper 'The Torch', in collaboration with New Straits Times, that I was the assistant editor for my kulliyyah's pharmacy students' society annual magazine for 2 years, and became a chief editor in my final year. In a less impressive note, I had also written a novel and won NaNoWriMo in 2012 (trust me, anyone could do this). And oh, I had been blogging since 2007 with less than 10 loyal readers (I think) and that I am currently earning RM16.99 from Nuffnang. LOL.

And now, I'm in in the midst of writing a young adult novel about school life with the time settings of the late 2000s. I had written 40 full pages already. So there!

I had written something. I am a writer!

No no no, these things are not worth bragging for. These things may not be that significant, and that I might have achieved them by chance. Just to justify the point that I am actually a writer.

I am a writer!

I am also a struggling writer.

I had never won any major essay/fiction-writing competition throughout my school years. In 2008, I sent a soft copy of my first completed novel to a publishing company after which I had yet to receive any feedback from them, until this day, hahahaha. I also sent an article to Reader's Digest and they did not contact me. I had faced so many rejections but here I am, strong and determined. I'm still struggling to finish my novel.

I can't believe it! I could call myself as a struggling artist.

A struggling writer! :D

I supposed that it is because I treated writing as merely a hobby, not a job, that I did not consider myself as a writer. I'm writing just to occupy my free time and just for fun! Unlike other real struggling writers, I don't feel that sad when my works were rejected. I don't feel extremely compelled to make them gain recognition. Thus I didn't really take writing seriously. I never felt the urgency to finish writing my novel or producing something big. Even if I didn't manage to get my book published (or becoming a best-seller), I'd still survive, with my Pharmacy degree in hand, insya Allah. Thus, I am feeling complacent just the way I am now. 

I guess that the only way for me to take writing seriously, and to get the work done, is to actually regard it as a real job. I shall pretend that I'm a writer ( I am!). I shall introduce myself as a 'Writer' rather than a 'Pharmacist'.

So, hello there. I am Sarah. I am a writer. And a keyboardist who's still trying to master Pachelbel's 'Canon in D' to the utmost perfection. 

I am a writer. This feels so good....:D