Indecisive

This is not one of those popular entertainment blogs where people did reviews on places they went, foods they ate, how to wear a shawl, how to apply a lipstick (LOL), well, you get it.

This is a personal blog. Thus, a place where I ramble and rant with a moderate degree of conscience. 

Here it goes. I'm an indecisive person. I really couldn't make decisions. Even after I've made my decision, I would actually considering of budging from it if there's other alternatives or choices. This is bad. They said that AB blood type people tend to be indecisive, because they are drawn towards both sides, A and B. Of course I should not believe in ridiculous things like this.

I'm feeling a bit down lately. There's no specific or even valid reasons on why I should be upset. Perhaps it's the hormone. I've submitted my resume for the APPS Taiwan 2012. Initially, the kulliyyah wanted to sponsor 8 students. By that, they mean, they're going to give each of us RM500 as some kind of subsidy for the trip. Later on, I've been informed that kulliyyah now is going to sponsor only FIVE students, because they don't have enough money. >_<

I know that I wouldn't make it into one of the five people. I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic. 

The result is not out yet but the thing is, I'm not feeling at all excited about the prospect of going to Taiwan. I'd have to scoop around RM4000 and frankly speaking, Taiwan never made it into my 'List of Places I Wanted to Visit'. So, what's the purpose of spending a lot of money going to a place I don't even have interest of going to? Sorry Taiwanese.  Besides, one of my friends had already tarik diri from going there. That RM4000 could be used for something else!

So I told one of my friends who'll be going there that "I'm sorry". She replied, begging me to go with her. This puts me in a dilemma but of course, again, I'm sorry, I'm not going there, dear.

I've been thinking of doing something else during the upcoming 3 months break. Something more exciting and interesting than Taiwan. I haven't thought of it yet. But yeah, I'm not going to Taiwan. This decision is final. Even if the kulliyyah decided to sponsor me, I'm not going. Instead, I'm going to save money to go to APPS Japan 2013 next year, insya-Allah. Ahh..Japan! Now that's more likely.

Let's talk about good things now.

First of all, I went to my first Mandarin class last night! It was awesome, a source of escape, something I wouldn't mind doing everyday. A tension relief medication, in a way. I hope I will never miss any of the upcoming Mandarin classes, insya-Allah. 

I have this weird picture/vision of myself being cool.

Cool? I picture myself as this girl in a denim jubah (I have no idea, don't ask me), a long tudung and a brown vintage oxford shoes, walking by herself, reading classics like Vanity Fair, Love at the Time of Cholera and The Taming of the Shrew, listening to classical music, reciting sonnets of William Butler Yeats and William Shakespeare, spends time writing poems like Emily Dickinson, absorbed in her own world. 

This is weird, isn't it? I do not possess a denim jubah and an Oxford shoes (hey, maybe I could use the money to buy the denim jubahs and several pairs of Oxford shoes! And more long tudungs, LOL) I've never read any of the 3 books listed above, the only sonnet of Shakespeare that I remember is the one in the English Literature Form 4 which goes like this:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

thou art more lovely and temperate

then I forgot the rest of the poem. 

I enjoy reading classics even when I was a young child. But back the, I read the abridged version. The complete, unabdriged version is quite...how to say it? Soporific. Yeah. Not all of them, of course. 

Well, actually there's more. But let's give it a rest. 

And yeah, I'm the secretary for IIUMFiesta's opening ceremony+forum. Life will be very busy. 

WO HEN MANG!!! 

Ok, bye! WAN SHANG HAO!!!