DOUBLE TWO

I woke up in the morning and saw a new Google Doodle. Surprised to see that it was for me (perasan gila+ noob).

So, Alhamdulillah. I am now 22. Double Two. A woman physically, always a child inside. HAHA.

Infinite thanks to Allah the Almighty for creating me. 

Thank you for my mother who gave birth to me on this particular day. Millions of thanks to my parents who brought me up to the way I am now. 

I kind of questioned myself lately 'Why am I being born a woman?' and I know that there's a reason for everything that happened. 

Being born a woman is quite restrictive. My parents are so overprotective of me as compared to my younger brother. It is for my own benefits, I know.

Yes, I know there's a reason on why I was born a female, a Muslim, a Malay, a Malaysian. I just have to find out that reason. I have to start looking for it. Please pray that I'll finally find it! 

I love being a woman, yes. And I'm so grateful to be born a Muslim woman in MALAYSIA. 

I turned off the Facebook notification for my birthday, so no one on my friends' list know that TODAY is my birthday and it feels awesome actually, it's like you have a secret. (oh, pleaseee)

I have friends, family members, my roommate who do not need the facebook notification that today is my birthday and they wished me privately through the phone.

Also thanks to those who wished me on other social networks! :D 

My uncle gave me the BEST ORIGINAL birthday message:

"Happy birthday my dearest Sarah. You deserve a ride on a magical cobalt dragon through a golden sky filled with raspberry star dust that will make you happy for a thousand years. Soak it in all up! Stay fearless. Love,"

Always so poetic and descriptive, he is. Remember him, the architect aka my younger brother's mentor?

Also, the youngest son of my arwah Nekwan and Tokwan, my mom's youngest brother.

Remember the email that he gave to me two months after my grandma had left us all? 

My Dearest Sarah,

thanks for your email, it did cheer me up. :)

You know, i have always told my friends that my mother is so special because she may not understand anything but she understands everything.

They find this amusing..

See, Nek Wan might not be well-educated and she didn't understand a lot of things around her- how to operate the cable, how to use the mobile, even how to tune the radio.

She came to Singapore with Tok Wan only with her courage and determination. But miraculously with Allah's guidance, she was able to raise 6 children in the most unfamiliar environment, and by God, she raised each and everyone of her children well, with good education - duniawi and ukhrawi. This, despite all the odds- a feat not many women can take on these days.

I thought about it and i concluded that your arwah Nek Wan was so special. She had the gift of understanding her children and giving them the tools they need most for the soul. She might not be able to help us with our algebra homework or English assignment, but she was able to give us the determination, persistence and courage to live life to the fullest. She equipped us with lessons you will never be able to find in the classroom. She had the incomparable ability to adept to circumstances and make the best out of the situation. She didn't let anything or anyone bring her or her family down with her weaknesses, rather she mustered every strand of strength she had in her to trudge on. Until today, when i feel weak and troubled, i think of what Nek Wan would do if she is caught in the same situation and from there, i always find strength.

When I was down and felt that the whole world was against me, I just needed to go back home to her. She was able to discern every sorrow in me, even without me telling her, and she never failed to heal every single one of my wounds.

At night, she would sit and watch all the English programmes on TV with me even though she couldn't understand a word! But at the corner of my eye, I always caught her not watching the TV but rather looking at me, and i could feel the warmth of her smile and every word of the doa she sent to Allah for me.

Every day when i went to work, she would sit at the sofa and bid me farewell, and her sight never left me until i turn the corner at the staircase. I knew she was praying for me and my safety. I knew she was aware, the day will come she will not be able to see me off work anymore and prayed Allah will still be with me for always...

I miss Nek Wan so so much, and i pray i will be able to see her again soon. You are right, she would most likely want me to keep praying for her, and stop mourning, and one day InsyaAllah, we will see Nek Wan and Tok Wan again. Till then i just wish i have half her strength to go through the rest of my life without her. Even to the day she passed on, your Nek Wan was one strong lady. 

I've never felt so loved and cared for, and i guess that's the magic that mothers have. You still have yours. Cherish every single moment you have with your parents ok, and make every moment matter. Always remind Mak and Abah how much you love and appreciate them.

Keep in touch, all the best for your results and may Allah be with you always.

Whenever you remember Nek Wan, sedekah Fatehah ok?

Lots of Love,

Busu

Eh, why does this post turned out to be about HIM, my uncle instead of my so-called awesome day of birthday? I don't have any awesome day. I have to study for THREE quizzes tomorrow.

His birthday is on the 12th of October, which is 2 days ago. I forgot to wish him for his birthday. I'm sorry, Busu Din! Here is a birthday wish for you! ( I don't know whether you still read my blog or not. I hope not!).

Happy 37th Birthday Busu Din!

Stay handsome and stay awesome!

Get married quickly, will you!

And don't ask me to get married first whenever I voiced that out -___-

With love, your niece, Sarah Syahirah/Sarah E.Beth Darcy/Syaheira Skywalker/WizardNox159.

He is my biggest critic so far. >_< I'll improve my English, yes! *saying this meekly*

Wassalam.