Of Marriage and Mutual Weirdness

Assalamualaikum and a very good day to all.

We each has different dreams, and one should not scorn over another person's dream, no matter how ridiculous or far-fetched it is. Dreams, when translated into a more practical term is called life's plans.

At this blooming age (reproductive la, fine), people would naturally opted 'marriage' as one of their life's plans. People have plans to get married as early as they could. At least, after they have graduated or at the very most, before they hit 30. 

Just recently, a friend of mine had told me that she is ready to get married and to start a family. She voiced  out her concern of having not met 'anyone' yet and that she is afraid that she might end up getting married at quite a 'matured' age. LOL.

To be truthful, that friend aside, I have met many friends who planned on getting married right after they have graduated. But when I asked them "Do you have a calon yet?" most of them said "No, not yet,"

Of course, it is nature of humans to plan but whether their plans materialized or not, it is up to Allah to decide. I confess that I laughed silently upon listening to their similar answers but ahem, do not make fun of other people's dreams, Sarah. 

Most of those people I met, who planned on getting married apparently do not have any other life's plans; i.e, plans for themselves. They feel that as long as they got married, then everything will be okay. That their ultimate dream has been fulfilled. MOST people okay, MOST. I have met a married couple who have their own individual dreams to accomplish (you know who you are, :P).

I would not chastise anyone who feels that 'marriage' is the epitome of happiness.  Just like a dream, different person has different definition of happiness. Who am I to judge you if you tell me that you'd achieve happiness once you get married and who are you to judge me if I tell you that I'd achieve happiness once I met Song Joong Ki? LOL KIDDING!

But indeed, it is wrong if you feel that ONLY by getting married, then ONLY you'll be happy. It is very worrying if you keep on thinking about marriage when you could do something else for yourself. What if you ended up getting married, and later on finding out that the marriage is not full of snowdrops and rainbows like what you have imagined before? Bear in mind, a perfect marriage only exists in fictions. A less than perfect marriage? I'm all armed for that, or at least I think so. T___T

I am saying that you should not put marriage as a basis for your happiness level. I think that it is quite ridiculous for you to keep on waiting for your future soulmate to arrive right in your front door without doing anything else. 

"When is he going to come for me?"

"I'm tired of waiting,"

" Will I end up as a spinster?"

It is not wrong to wait and hope for him to come. But in the mean time, why don't you try to have other dreams for yourself? Why don't you sign up for a language class, travel abroad with your friends, have a series of adventures, going down the Sungai Rejang, go camping at the Taman Negara, volunteered for a charity body, participate in Masterchef Malaysia (LOL), like, you know, doing productive and FUN stuffs? Things that you would have lesser time to do once you have gotten married. 

I once read a quote that 'You will find love when doing things that you love," Well, sort of. Haha. I have this firm conviction that once you are preoccupied with other matters (other than thinking about your prince charming), then your significant other will slowly slip in, entering your life. 

After all, Allah do things in the most unexpected ways, right? Surprise!!! 

They'd be greatly astonished

to learn that for a long time

chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready

to transform into fate for them

it approached them, then backed off,

stood in their way

and, suppressing a giggle,

jumped to the side.

-Love at First Sight by Wislawa Szymborska

I think that for you who have been worrying about this, why don't you take a deep breath? Relax, calm down. Believe in what had been written when you were about to be created. If Allah had decreed that you will find your future spouse at this specific time or place then what is there to be worried about? Believe in Him! And His promises! He would never ever broke/had never broken any promise made! 

If you feel tired of waiting, or is doubting Him, maybe this is His way of testing you. Perhaps if you passed this 'Patience Test' then only He will send your other half to you!

With every test, there is an outcome. You passed the Test, you will be rewarded. You failed the Test, have no fear, there will be another test, again and again until you passed the Test. He would make sure that you get what He had promised to you. That is why, Allah is the BEST! :D 

As for me? Right now, marriage is not included in my 'short term life plans'. Recently, there had been a talk of matchmaking me with someone, of which I think that it is really ridiculous and that I quickly brush it off! I don't think that the 'matchmaker' is being serious anyway but the very thought of it brings chills down my spine! NO! (Matchmaker is a relative) But I'm sure that in the future, there will be more 'matchmaking talks', to my chagrin. *rolled eyes*. 

Maybe it's because I have many goals and dreams waiting to be achieved, that I do not think much about marriage, alhamdulillah. My parents do not force me to get married right after graduation (unlike the parents of some of my friends), of which I am very thankful for that, and that I intend to take care of my parents, siblings, relatives and the society first. Hamboihhh.. 

But of course, if there comes a day, when Allah had secretly let someone walked into my life of busy-ness and the yet-unfulfilled dreams, then I simply could not refuse it, right? LOL.

HAPPY SEEKING FOR LOVE! Before that, be sure to seek for the ETERNAL love first, insya-Allah you will feel loved. :) 

And oh, remember this 'Hati manusia ni, Allah yang pegang. If you love Allah, and Allah loves you, Allah will give you the best person for you, so, be sure to love ALLAH! <3 nbsp="">

Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you!!