My Luna Lovegood.

We were on our nightly walk from the library to the mahallah when Luna said 

"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you what I think about your magazine,"

I clutched her hands, exclaiming "Oh no, is it that bad?"

I paused for a while, and said "Oh, never mind, I should be able to accept criticisms," 

She seemed amused and asked "Do you really want to hear the criticisms?"

I nodded "Yes, I need that to improve myself,"

And so, Luna began

"I thought that the magazine is good! There are some sentences that were accidentally cut-out by the designers, including the dean's speech (laughing), other than that, the whole contents are great, no grammatical errors, the designs are quite good, except for the last article. The design needs to be improved,"

I heaved a sigh of relief "I guess it's not that bad. You couldn't expect everything to be perfect,"

"Yes, it's great! You shouldn't be too hard on yourself," Luna labelled me as a perfectionist, something that I never thought I am . 

"Anyway, it's my first time doing this job,"

"Oh, it's your first time, then it's great!"

She continued "One word of advice. You shouldn't do everything by yourself. You might read the whole thing and you didn't realize of the mistakes committed. You should let another person to read it as well, so that she could detect the mistakes that you did not see," 

Wise. As expected of her. Thanks Luna! =)

Luna (not her real name) is a one-year-older Algerian friend I have made for the past six months (since the previous semester). She is currently pursuing her Masters here in IIUM Kuantan. We got to know each other ever since she posted several comments on my blog, way before she came to Malaysia. We finally met each other here in Kuantan. 

She's a book lover, someone weird (just like me!) I think I have found someone I could confide my problems to, someone whom I could talk to, about people I have issues with. LOL. It's because she is not a Malaysian, and she is not my classmate, and she doesn't know who are my friends. So it's kind of liberating to finally let everything out to her, to pour out my heart's contents and to be relieved with the support she gave. She is a good listener and she responds well to my rants and babbles, haha. Most importantly, we agree on most matters and that she does not JUDGE me. 

So, thank you Luna. I feel blessed that Allah sent you here for me all the way from Algeria. =) 

May our friendship lasts till Jannah. 

Heartbroken

A so-called tragedy had befallen me.

It is in the form of a magazine of which I had put so much efforts into. There were some errors here and there, partly due to the designers' well....(insert something). Anyway, the editor's face in front (besar gedabak gambar tu!) is the face that everyone knows and will put heaps of comments to, the one that people will criticize. "Now why didn't the editor check each and every word of every article before deciding to print the magazine?" Yeah, I know. It's my fault. Also due to some agreements we have made with the lecturer of which the students don't have any idea of, but unfortunately, the 'agreements' had materialized into something that had been perceived as 'errors and confusions'. Why, why why? They asked. Well, the team and I have done our best, and that's what matters most. Soon after I arrived at my room, I had stashed the magazine away to the bookshelf, never to look at it again. But when I went to a friend's room, she had taken the magazine from her shelf and pointed every single flaw of the magazine to me. *sad*. Well, I have to learn how to accept criticisms. 

So yeah, I have apologized to my class.

This kind of embarrassing but EQ-building moment had led me to reminisce the horrible unfortunate event that I have experienced in my first year in IIUM. The moment of public embarrassment in front of over hundreds of people in the auditorium, looking and scrutinizing my every action on stage. The moment where the program manager rolled his eyes towards me, of which I instantly wished that the stage would collapse at that very moment or that I will sink into the deep core of the earth. 

So yeah, the first public humiliation experienced during my first semester of my first year in IIUM and also the current public humiliation experienced now, during my first semester of my final year in IIUM.

There are other so-called humiliations and regrets that I have experienced throughout these 4 years here. It's a part and parcel of life of course. *sigh*. *take a deep breath*. 

And oh, humans. Humans are those imperfect beings that you couldn't help but to get annoyed with or get irritated by them at times, but because they are imperfect, you can't really blame them for their actions. 

Screw all these embarrassments! Listen here, and LISTEN WELL. I, am going to become someone SUCCESSFUL in the future! 

These so-called tragedies would become parts of my 'hurdles while climbing up the ladder of success'. 

Like what I always said to my younger brother, who have had bitter experiences and disappointments of his own, "Orang yang berjaya ni selalunya Allah bagi dugaan besar sikit berbanding orang biasa'. 

Thanks Allah for giving me the strength. Alhamdulillah. Just like the Great Jang Geum, 

"I WOULD NEVER GIVE UP! NO ONE CAN FORCE ME TO GIVE UP!" 

I am not being presumptuous. This is my own way of consoling myself. 

With that, arigato gozaimasu...*bows* 

Before and After

Bak kata Iira, "Muka semua orang lepas Tutorial CPK Bro. Tarek". 

Indeed! Muka I jugak lepas habis PT attachment kat hospital. Lepas habis discussion dengan pharmacist and lecturer. Muka frustrated bila tak dapat meet the pharmacist's expectations, what the lecturer wants. This feeling of incompetence. Macam ni laaa...

Muka bila habis tutorial CPK yang dah pening-pening dengan banyak formula, equations and such..Muka confused bila dapat tahu "Eh kenapa tukar dengan value ni, lepas tu value tu pulak?" This feeling of "Macam mana ni, dah fourth year, next year dah kerja kat hospital". Macam ni laaa..

Oh yeah, 

Glossary:

PT: Pharmacotherapeutics

CPK: Clinical Pharmacokinetics

I'm in my final year now. It's the final run. I'm getting near to the finishing line now. I just need to speed up! Just a little bit more! There there... 

And my seniors ramai dapat Sabah and Sarawak. There there... 

Wassalam. 

Mr. Lembu Goes to Heaven

Outdated Post #1

Spent our Aidiladha in Malaysia's Jelapang Padi --> Kedah! :)

Woke up at 5 something, performed Subuh prayer, self-preparation, early breakfast and we set off to Pokok Sena, Alor Setar from Sungai Petani. :) 

Haziq was sleeping throughout the journey. 

 It was a nice early morning weather. Cloudy, yeah.. Sorry for the bad picture. Captured it while I was in the car. 

Meet the handsome Mr. Lembu #1 :) 

Meet the stubborn Mr.Lembu #2. It kept trying to run away!! Dx 

 Mr. Lembu #1 was being very cooperative.

 Pinning its forelegs down...

 Look at its eyes... :(

 Dah kena sembelih. I gotta admit that there were tears in my eyes. Diorang laungkan takbir raya waktu nak sembelih Mr. Lembu. Of course la sebak....

You know what people said "Tak boleh kesian kat binatang korban. Nanti tak boleh makan,". Can anyone give me a reliable hadith/dalil or Quranic ayat regarding this? I mean, I meredhai pemergian Mr.Lembu (LOL) but as a normal human being with humanistic feelings, of course I couldn't help but to feel sad upon witnessing 'deaths', be it human beings/animals. My youngest brother Haziq, 9 years old also couldn't control his feelings. He's only a kid! 

To Mr. Lembu who was about to breathe out its last breath, I silently said "Be patient. It's only a bit more. You'll go to heaven, Mr. Lembu,"  

Farewell, Mr. Lembu. Heaven awaits you. :') 

What happened during QA class

The subject Quality Assurance is well... (insert something). It's an interesting subject but...

To avoid myself from succumbing into the world of wonders upon closing my eyes, I decided to avert my attention towards something else.

So I had made up my list of inspirational women, ranging from Nellie Bly to Fa Mulan of the Disney movie 'Mulan'. I also made up my 'to-watch list' which mainly consists of anything Jane Austen related, from 1995's Clueless (watched it, but gonna download it! :P) to the semi autobiographical movie 'Becoming Jane' with Anne Hathaway as Jane Austen. 

I listened to Dr.H talking about the landfills and proper pharmaceutical waste disposal methods, at the same time thinking about my list when suddenly, 

Dr H: You know last time on TV, there was a story about (something environment) covered by that reporter. What was his name, Karamjit Singh?

Me: KARAM SINGH WALIA!!! (in a very loud voice)

And people started laughing and looking at me. I literally covered my face in embarrassment. 

The End. 

All Grown Up

It's quite random actually. I suddenly decided to read the old posts (talking bout 2008 till 2010?) of this person's blog, this someone I've known since school.  I read some of the posts, the comments I have posted, and I smiled. :)

2007-2013. 5 years have passed. I was so immature back them. I'm not that matured now, but at least I'm in a process of growing up, to learn how to think like how an adult should think, I think. :P

It's the same when you read back your old blog posts and got all embarrassed looking at the things you're not supposed to write, things you're not supposed to tell others. Things not worth telling though.

I realized that as you grow up, you become more self-conscious as to how you appear to others. That's the reason why I no longer express my thoughts as freely as I could now, as compared to 5-6 years ago. There are pros and cons to this. 

People who have been reading my blog ever since I started writing it (just finished my SPM) until now (when I'm about to leave university and embrace the 'working world!') would have observed how much I've changed all these years, from writing style to how I perceive life and whatever lies in it. Right?

So this blog chronicles my life after the BIG SPM, agony of waiting for the results, getting the results, agony of choosing which course to take, which uni to go, which path to walk on, then moving on to my series of adventures and misadventures in CFS (2 years of them!) and going to Kuantan to pursue my degree-freshman year, sophomore year, junior year and now ahemm. SENIOR YEAR!

So much things had happened to me, and these are the things that slowly moulded me and shaped me to become a better person than I was 5 years ago (I hope so!). 

What is this, an introduction to 'sarahkushairi.blogspot.com'? Whoa, this blog had witnessed how much I've grown up! People I've met, friends I've made, unfulfilled dreams, new paths that I had taken, that kind of thing. The various short-lived phases that I've gone through- J-Dramas, Matsumoto Jun, Arashi, and... others, were also depicted on this blog. 

I don't know. All these had stemmed from after I have 'visited' that blog of an old friend, randomly.  

And oh, yup. I started blogging when I was sixteen. That old, first blog of mine still exist. (I won't give anyone the URL). I 'visited' it occasionally, and laughed at the things that I wrote there. Mostly it was about 'what happened at school'. 

Do you want to get a glimpse of how 'Sarah' was like 1-2-3-4-5-6 years ago? Well, I don't really recommend this, but you could browse through the archive of this blog, from December 2007 till now, October 2013. You might get slightly annoyed with the old me. Haha. If you're curious la. 

To finally end this post, a quote that I made up for i-Mag (I'm the editor). 

Napi (the manager) wanted something that reflects 'happiness' and 'KOP students'. Those are the keywords. I couldn't find any appropriate quote that fits the keywords. And so, I decided to make my own quote, LOL (iit is also to maintain the originality of the magazine). Here it is:

'Memories must be prescribed, for happiness to be dispensed'. 

 I know it sounds weird as you read it the first time. But try to ponder upon this quote, and you'd finally get what I'm trying to convey. As I read this quote to my friends, they agree that memories, be it bitter or sweet, will definitely leave traces of happiness in your life, sooner or later. You might think something that you're going through now, as something awful. But give it time, you'll look back at it and think it's funny (someone told me this). 

And then you laughed. Laughter is synonymous with happiness.

Smile. :) Make lots of memories! Be happy!

With that, assalamualaikum and adieu!