A Marriage Proposal

'Sarah? There's somebody asking for your hands.....' the sentence incomplete.

I was dumbfounded. 'Meaning?' knowing far too well that I know the answer without even asking.

'He wanted to marry you,' as simple as that.

'Ohhhh... Okay,' a ruthless answer from a so-called obedient daughter.

My mum then bought me an engagement outfit. A white songket baju kurung. I then wore the outfit. I was scared. I mean, I have never met the guy I'm about to be engaged with.

I contemplated. I mean, I'm only 22! I don't want to get married at such an early age! I wanted to get my degree first. Then maybe a Masters' Degree. Besides, what's with all this 'arranged marriage'? I wanted to marry someone I know. Someone I love.

And suddenly I said to my mum 'Mak, I don't want to get married just yet. I wanted to finish my studies first. Then only I'll think of getting married,'

Surprisingly, my mum agreed. 'Yes, you're right!'


Later on, I learned that the guy I'm about to be engaged with was some kind of a distant cousin, who was apparently smitten by my smile (fetch yourself a basin, please). What's more, he's about the same age as my father and he already had a wife and kids.


Meaning, if I married him, I would become his SECOND wife!


Then my mum told him that I rejected his proposal (is this the correct term?). And off he came to my house with his maroon kancil with all kinds of stickers plastered all over his car's body. Whaddaheck!


I ran away to hide. First in my room. Then suddenly, one of his kids, a boy saw me and smiled. Saying to his sister beside 'That's the one dad's going to marry!'


What? My future stepson and stepdaughter? NOOOOO!!!!!!


I quickly ran and hid under my mother's bed. Then suddenly, the man-I'm-about-to-be-engaged-with spotted me. I quickly went out from my hiding place and okay, it's time to set all things clear.

He said 'I'm about to give up. But now you're here. Please tell me everything,'

I composed myself, speaking in a clear and sometimes croaked voice (I'm about to cry).


'I'm sorry. I regard you no more than like my own father,' he stiffened.


'It doesn't mean that I don't like you because you're old!'


'It's just that I don't love you. Even if you're a young man,'


'Besides, I wanted to finish my studies,'


'And the most important thing. I don't want to break your wife's heart. Polygamy is a very serious matter. You have to be fair,'

What's more, he's only driving a Kancil and yet he wanted to have a second wife? How could he be fair to both his wives? (reality, okay)


'Yeah, yeah' he waved his hands dismissively.


'And so, I can't marry you,' final decision is made.


He looked angry and yet he couldn't do anything. And off he signed something in a document with a green ink pen and stormed off. I was scared, yet relieved at the same time.


I mean, it's scary right, to have someone whom you don't know (worse still, someone's related to you, someone who already has a wife and kids, someone who wanted to marry you just because he's in love with your physical appearances). SCARRRYYYYY!!!!!!

And suddenly
'Kringgggg!!!!' I woke up. Cis, nasib baik mimpi je!

You can notice several things from my dream.

1. I was 22 in my dream. I haven't yet reached the age of 21. Is this the future? NOOO!!!!

2. My mum is depicted as a clueless woman. I mean, no! My mum would never let me accept a marriage proposal from a married old man, a distant cousin whatsoever. What's more, she would never ever allow me to get married when I'm still studying. 'Dream mum' is nothing like my 'Reality mum'. Dream mum is clueless. While Reality mum is realistic and awesome!

3. I could never tolerate someone who has all kinds of sporty stickers pasted all over his car and thus ruined his car's appearance.

4. White songket? A hint of blue flowers or something for my engagement outfit.

5. Green ink?

6. The distant cousin doesn't exist.

7. And yeah, 'Dream Sarah' is clueless as well. Just accepting the marriage proposal? Where are your senses, Dream Sarah???

I reckon this dream is influenced by a book I've read the night before I went to bed.

'The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan'.
A young woman declined a marriage proposal from an old man who has wife and kids. The old man holds vengeance and killed the woman's future husband and the woman's dad.

It shows that some books left deep impacts on me.

P.S One night, I dreamed a Bangladeshi man falling head over heels with me. SCARRYYYY!!!! (no I'm not being racist or anything. Any stranger regardless of nationalities who had fallen for me would have scared me!)