Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)
For the past few months, maybe for the past one year, I feel that I'm not being true to myself while writing the blog posts. As more people read my blog, I feel more restricted. (but really, thank you for reading my blog :D)I could not express myself freely as I did before. I couldn't show my true cranky behaviour, writing irrelevant posts like what I did 2 years ago. I'm worried about other people's perceptions and I really wish I'm not.
Somehow, I don't think it's right to expose everything about yourself up in the net, especially the problems you're facing as you will be labeled as an 'emo'. A slang for someone who is constantly emotional. :P
I seriously think I should not care too much about people's thoughts or else my creativity (so-called) will be suppressed. before, I could write more than 4 long blog posts in a day but now I couldn't.
I'm a person who is easily excited. When I discovered new things, do something that is fulfilling, or see/observe whatever events I will become all excited and the best medium to express this feeling is through writing. I wish to share my experiences with other people and thus, I wrote them all in a blog.
When I'm feeling down or depressed, I would often write about them in the blog. But as I read back, I feel ashamed and thus deleted the post.
Even if I experienced a writer's block, I would write just about everything (crazy, cranky stuffs, of course) but at least I'm writing. I do notice that my creative juice is slowly being drained nowadays.
When I started this blog in 2007, I had a great fun exploring the wonderful world of blogs. I had fun changing the templates, I had fun spamming my friends' cboxes. Maddy, Jem and Farhana were my first blog buddies. I miss the carefree times we had, reading and commenting other people's blog posts. Maddy even said that
' Reading your blog makes my day!'
I am not a serious, responsible, diligent, careful, excellent person. I'm the opposite of all that. I love to laugh, I love to talk, I love to make jokes, I am somehow the clown of the class (maybe among my friends) and I love being all that. I am a weirdo and I'm proud of that fact.
In a conclusion, I should write for myself, not for others. Something or anything that I think is good, not what people think is good. I should be who I am. But one thing. I shall not be emo.
Thank you for reading. :)
7 comments:
I toooooooootally get you. I miss ranting in my own blog. ):
Jem! I rindu la zaman2 dulu. Zaman2 dlm Convent clan aje. Haha.
And jom jumpa at the end of next week? I've promised my mum I'll drive the car everyday next week so bolehla drive sampai village mall agaknya *gulps*
huih...betoi2 cek...dulu2 saya pun mcm tu jugak..tp ter ramai sikit pulak pembaca lani..
Tu la. Hang dulu tulih emo-emo. Yang baca cuma cek dgn kawan KJ hang ja.
Takpela ramai pembaca. Hang kan high profile. Cek low profile je. Tapi lagi best. xD
ish aku dulu tulih emo2 ka?? haha tak ingat dah pulak aku...
cit..
mana ada high profile??
Takdela emo sangat. Pelik je kalau org lelaki tulis emo2.
It's more like you write true from your heart la. Haha.
Große, fand ich, was ich habe gesucht
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