The Transformers of UIA

Hello folks! I shall be in a short hiatus due to the imminent final exams. By that, this will be the last post for this month. It's supposed to be in the MEDCY Magazine but I don't know whether this will get published or not, LOL. So, this is it.

ENJOY! :D

The Transformers of UIA

We are the students of UIA. And by that,

We must abide by the rules set by our university and dressed according to the dress code. Baju kurungs, jubahs, Punjabi suits, toe-covered shoes, hijabs/tudungs that covered the chest, thick socks, STRICTLY loose clothes only! And don’t forget the matric cards.
(In fear of being fined by the Makcik Guard and the Mahallah Office people)

We must not show any form of intimate interactions with the brothers/sisters. We must not even sit in the same table with them even in the library and the cafes. We must not sit together with them in class. We must follow the rules and regulations of UIA. There are even signs stated ‘Males and Females please sit separately’ being hung everywhere. And thus we must abide by that.
(To avoid being bombarded with deathly stares from everyone. Can they please mind their own businesses?)

We must not have intimate relationships with them because we are good Muslims. Coupling is HARAM in Islam. There’s even the ‘No coupling’ campaign here in UIA.
(To avoid being bad-mouthed by other conservative people. They are SO outdated and old-fashioned)

We must wear socks and T-shirt that covered the bums whenever we wanted to go down to the café. Oh, we must!
(Again, same reason as above)

We must lower down our gazes whenever we meet other students of the opposite gender.
(Is it wrong to just take a look at someone we have a crush on?)

We must perform the 5 daily prayers everyday, without failing to do so. And we must not delay the prayers.
(As our roommates are extremely pious people and we had to perform congregational prayer with them FIVE times a day)

For the brothers, it is compulsory for the brothers to perform the Solat Jumaat every Friday. They are obliged to do so.
(The fellows will do spot checks every Friday afternoon)

We must not use the staircase in front of Mahallah Abu Bakar except during overnight outing and pasar malam outing.
(Like, what’s the difference?)

Outing Rules.

We must dress appropriately, covering our Aurah as we wouldn’t want the Pakcik Guard (especially the one with moustache)a.k.a Uncle Misai to criticize and make irrelevant remarks on our clothes and thus asked any one of us to go back to our room and get changed.

Black jubah is a necessity! It is loose, in dark colour, and it could prevent people of the opposite gender from looking at us with a lustful intentions.

The tudung/hijab MUST cover the chest. We are good Muslimahs. We must follow the Islamic teachings. Oh wait; we must follow the UIA rules.

Outside the UIA Boundary

In the mall, we will go to the washroom and let the evolutionary process begins.
The steps in the evolutionary/ transforming process are:

1. The black Jubah that serves as a shield that protects the UIA people from being fined by Pak Cik Guard is now taken off, revealing a short, tight, body-hugging small sized blouse (Though people might have the impression that we wear our 7-year old sisters’ clothes) Oh yeah, tight jeans is a necessity so that we can fling our booties.

2. The long, bothersome tudungs that covered the chest is now taken off. Replaced with a really short, almost transparent selendang. (People who knows nothing about fashion might mistook it as an extra large sized HANDKERCHIEF that we’re wearing there).The selendang should not necessarily cover the chest. We will just have to twist it around here and there around the neck (Conservative unfashionable people might have the impression that we’re trying to commit suicide).

3. A wide range of Make-up collections are taken out from the bag. Pink mauve Dior lipstick is applied on our lips, the lashes heavily mascara-ed, a tint of blusher on each side of the cheeks, Lancôme foundation covered the flaws on our skin.

Presto! One phase of transformation is now complete.

4. We’ll smile in satisfaction and start camwhoring in front of the toilet mirrors, celebrating our success. Lo and behold, we are now TRANSFORMED!

Now, get out from the bathroom.

It is already 2 p.m. Zuhur prayer, anyone?

Oh, no thanks. We’ll do other stuffs first. Only THEN, will we search for the musolla for Zuhur prayer. Where’s the musolla anyway? Oohh, there’s a huge discount on that GUCCI handbag. Let’s go and see THAT first!

We are UIA students who come along and get together.*cue CFS song*

Not necessarily. Some of us give knowing smiles and we resented, knowing that they are off to meet their significant others there. Far ahead, we see an extremely good looking guy waiting for one of us. She struts towards him and together they hold their hands. Oh, how romantic.

We spotted some UIA guys drooling over the Caucasian lady who wore nothing but a piece of scanty dress with a low plunging neckline. Tsk. Tsk. They should lower down their gazes.

And off we went to have some fun. There are some drop dead gorgeous guys who offer us to have meal together with them in the same table. This is too good to be true. We chatted with the guys and they asked for our phone numbers. Sometimes, they smile at us and we smile back giddily and ahem… with a slight tinge embarrassment. We do not lower down our gaze, though. Sorry we disappointed you, UIA. Oh well, whatever.

Time really passes when we’re having a good time. It’s almost 6 p.m.

We made our way to the washroom again, not surprised to see other UIA girls TRANSFORMING once again into the hideous black jubahs. Faces cleaned, rouge stain of lipstick wiped off, we now look like innocent, good UIA students.

Back to UIA. We tried to hide our irritated faces when the extremely pious roommates asked us to join them for the congregational prayer. The guys from the Mall sent us messages, saying that they wanted to meet us again next week, this time in The Pavilion. Could this be…a DATE? We smiled dreamily and dozed off, dreaming of sunshine and butterflies. And our princes. What a long yet wonderful day.

We have to attend the morning classes the next day. We wear our baju kurung, the tudung that cover our chest, socks that cover our feet, and a gaze that is lowered down.

As we put on our matric cards, we are automatically the students of UIA. We must abide by the rules and regulations set by UIA.

When WE ARE IN UIA.

This is the real scenario of UIA students. Siapa makan cili dia yang terasa pedasnya. :PP

Anyway, just relax and take this as a dry humour. Don't take everything TOO seriously.
To the outsiders: Being UIA students doesn't mean that we possess extremely good and pious attitudes. Be it UIA students, UM students, UiTM and any other students from other universities, we are all normal human beings who tend to make mistakes.
 Hatta pelajar UIA pun takkan lari dari membuat kesilapan. And this post only showcased the scenario of some UIA students. Isolated cases. But I can guarantee that most of us are good Muslims. :D
P/S. My personality/behaviour is not that good pun. ^__^