Death 'Wishlist'

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and hello all. :)

Don't be scared of the title. 

I'm a paranoid kind of person. If there is something wrong with my health or whatsoever, I'd quickly google   the symptoms that I'm experiencing (have experienced/ thought/think I might experience) and would be surprised (in totally dramatic way) to find the list of diseases that I might have. Some of them;

• Multiple sclerosis (upon tripping here and there sometimes. I'm a klutz)
• Hyperthyroidism (I always get nervous and my hands are shaking- naturally shaky, pfftt)
• Parkinson's Disease (shaky hands-it runs in the family, according to my granduncle. MTV VJ Utt also has naturally shaky hands so I guess it's nothing serious >__<)
• Cancers of all sort (I'm overreacting, I know)
• Ophthalmic diseases that would result in blindness (stay away from computer).
• Hypertension ( I eat a lot >__<)
• That disease where you get old in a young age. 
• I'm afraid I might get bacterial infection or something because the mahallah's toilets and shower stalls are sooo  dirtyyyy.
• Kidney disease because I boiled tap water which might be free from microorganisms but not from harmful trace metals from the rusty pipes that might accumulate in my nephrons thus damaging my kidneys. Our mahallahs still do not provide water filter. Nak tunggu tulis surat kat main camp kat Gombak ke???? 
• And many others, sheeshhh...

Then, some major things happened. You know about the 'choices' I mentioned in the previous post? Lately, it's been kind of easy for me to make that choice. Only that it's not me. Several circumstances forced me to make that choice. Like I said, 'someone' had played some tricks on me. 

This leads to a reflection. Am I going to die young? With diseases or something? Oh no. I haven't even completed my degree yet. I haven't finished writing that novel. My degree of Iman is still at a (I dunno, insert one appropriate word) stage. NOOOOO!!!! My family needs me! 

And thus, that leads to this list: 

1.  I wish not to die horribly, detached, deformed in any way.
2.  I wish not to die in accidents of any kind.
3. I wish not to die unexpectedly like in accidents.
4. I wish to die on the Thursday Night (Malam Jumaat) or on Friday.
5.  I wish to meet my Creator in the best physical, emotional and mental preparation and presentation of myself.
6.  I wish my parents and siblings would not be devastated with my death but rather, view it as 'Allah loves me and he wants me to be with Him and soon He will take all of them together with Him and we will be reunited once again'. 
7. I wish I had brought some good changes in this world, or that I've changed someone.
8.  I wish I do not suffer much before finally breathing my last breath. For example, if I were to die because of a disease, I wish to die quickly and not suffer much.
9.  I wish not to trouble anyone who needs to make some time to tend to me on my dying bed or something. I wish to have some degree of independence (except of course, total dependence only towards Allah) as I reach my last moment on Earth. Tak nak menyusahkan orang. 
10.  I wish that I have reached the highest level of Iman I could ever achieved in this world when it's time for me to go. 
11.  I wish that majority of my tasks had been fulfilled before I die. 
12. I wish not to die being murdered or tortured by people/animals. Nauzubillahiminzalik. 
13. I wish to die in Malaysia because it would be easy for my family members and friends to visit my grave. If I were to die in overseas, my family would want my body back in my tanah tumpahnya darahku thus there will be that horrible procedures where they 'clean' up the corpse's body before sending me back. 

But of course, I need to pray a lot and to make many efforts in order for the list of wishes in this 'Death Wishlist' to come true (or at least, most of them. No accidents/murders please, huhu) I need to love Allah so that I would have some degree of happiness (and reda-what's that word in English? :P) when it's time for me to go back to Him. Funny, isn't it? But really, it is something that you need to think about. 

I wish not to die young (how young is young anyway?) because I have many responsibilities and tasks. I'm the eldest in the family, my parents vouch me to take care of my siblings if anything were to happen to them ( I always pray for my parents' longevity and prosperity), I need to fulfill my parents' needs first, I need to make my parents happy, my family happy, I need to change the world in many ways (women's rights, for example)

I want to achieve many things like completing my Ph.D, write my books and get them published, I want to meet my soulmate and to  travel around the world with him,  exploring different cultures and getting to know the other sides of the world that I've never seen nor experienced,

 I wish to meet new people, exchanging various ideas, to give them the good impression about Islam and what this religion of peace is really about.

I wish to be like Ahmed Deedat, who died at a prosperous age of 80 something. But of course,he has numerous reasons to live. But what about me? How will I be so sure that I will do something as great (or at least, something beneficial) as what he did if Allah were to grant me a long lifespan? 

If you were to live up till that age, make sure you have achieved something. If not, those long years would be a huge waste of time. You'd be better off dying young. This is a reminder to me, of course. 

For now, I need to

1. Eat less fatty foods and carbs ( I love rice and bread!)

2. Readjust my biological clock 

3. Exercise more

4. Take more supplements

5. Pray a lot

6. Study for quizzes and exams (stepping stones towards changing the world, you see!)

With that, thank you and may peace be upon you! 

'The man who decided to change on the 12th hour dies on the 11th'.