Pages

Friday, 31 December 2010

Goodbye 2010!

Okay, the time now is 11.44 p.m

I must write this last post for the year 2010 before the 'cheap internet' is automatically disconnected. -____-

So, my blog is 3 years old now! I started this blog in December 2007. Ah, rindu zaman dulu-dulu. :'(

I hope that I will become a better person in 2011. That's my resolution. 


Bye!

21? O___o

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

I will be a MAN and I'm deeply ashamed of myself.

By now you should know that I'm a poetry buff.

First part: I'll be a MAN :P

If by Rudyard Kipling


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

2nd Part: I'm deeply ashamed with myself :(

 PMR a test of courage, too

2010/12/27
By Adie Suri Zulkefli (New Straits Times)


BUKIT MERTAJAM: Fifty-year-old Samsudin Rejab is no superhero. He is an ordinary man who works as a security guard at the Domestic Trade, Cooperatives and Consumerism Ministry's office at the Seberang Perai Tengah district office.
But there is something in Samsudin, or Pak Din as he is fondly known, that might inspire others, particularly the younger generation.

For someone his age, it took a great deal of courage to be in a hall packed with 15-year-old students sitting the Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR) examination this year.

"It was an awkward situation. The students were watching me, wondering what an old man like me was doing among them at the PMR examination," Samsudin told the New Straits Times at his home in Taman Ara Indah, Permatang Pasir here yesterday.
Samsudin was one of 439,456 candidates who received their PMR results on Thursday. He had taken the examination at SMK Sama Gagah here as an independent candidate.

Although he did not pass with flying colours, obtaining 1C, 3Ds and 4Es, Samsudin's effort to improve his life demands huge admiration.

He took the PMR examination to meet a requirement for career advancement. 

While applying online for a job upgrade -- from the post of security guard with Grade KP11 to security assistant with Grade KP17 -- Samsudin was unable to meet an important requirement as he had lost his Sijil Rendah Pelajaran (SRP) certificate obtained in 1975.

"I had to take PMR to fulfil the academic qualification needed to apply for the post."

Nevertheless, he added, his decision was not merely for career advancement.
"I may not be a high achiever, but I want to inspire youngsters, especially school dropouts, so that they don't give up on their education. 
"If an old man like me can study textbooks and sit examinations, they can do far better."
Five years ago, Samsudin sat the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) examination before repeating the paper a year later.

While others his age are looking forward to their retirement, Samsudin is still enthusiastic about academic achievement.

He plans to sit for the SPM again next year. Call him a dreamer, but it is Samsudin's ultimate wish to set foot in a university as a student.

Thanks for sharing this, Kak Timi. I'm even ashamed of myself for not keeping up to date with the current issues, for not reading newspapers for several weeks :P

THE END

Friday, 24 December 2010

My favourite love poem :)

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)

 Love at First Sight by Wislawa Szymborska

Both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
Beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.

Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
What of the streets, stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?

I'd like to ask them
whether they remember-- perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an "excuse me" in a crowd
or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver.
But I know their answer:
no, they don't remember.

They'd be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them, then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side. 

There were signs, signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
Perhaps three years ago,
or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?
There was something lost and picked up.
Who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.

There were doorknobs and bells
on which earlier
touch piled on touch.
Bags beside each other in the luggage room.
Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.

Every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

-translated by Walter Whipple

 This. Is. Really. Sweet! :')  I wish I have this kind of thing going on. Yeah, right! (sarcastic tone).
Urm, let's see. Have I gotten any wrong number before? Have I muttered sorry to anyone without looking at him before?
Nope, I can't remember doing any of that. :P

Hahahaha. I do wonder what's wrong with me today. Too much stereochemistry, I guess. +_____+

Thursday, 23 December 2010

Just for the sake of updating :P

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)

Yes, this is me. Hello again! (tak boleh blah)

I'm 'supposed' to update this blog by the end of this week. But right now, it seems that the internet connection is quite 'conducive' for blog updating (LOL),  and therefore, I shall update the blog.

 My 2nd week here in UIA Kuantan. My 2nd semester, yeah.
I love being in my compartment. :) Like I said before, the window of my compartment is facing the lush, green hill behind a.k.a hutan belantara berbukit bukau. It's the monsoon season now (musim tengkujuh, eh, betul ke?), and Kuantan is located in the eastern coast of Malaysia so everyday is a rainy day. And it's really cold. Like, seriously. I'm wearing a jacket as I typed this.


I'm currently imagining that I'm in Cameron Highlands, hahaha. Now that's a delightful and comforting thought, isn't it? :P


Last weekend, Hazie asked me out (LOL) to Gambang WaterPark together with her and some other friends. But my parents didn't allow me to go. I was a bit upset but oh well, we have to obey our parents' orders.  My mum said ' Kalau dengar cakap mak bapak selamat dunia akhirat'. :)
I went out to East Coast Mall to watch 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader' with Syidah instead.

I splurged about almost RM150 buying

1. Nodame Cantabile Live Action Drama ( I have one in hard disk, but I SO NEED the DVDs :P)
2. Nodame Cantabile Special Episodes 
3. Nodame Cantabile Movie Set Complete (I and II)
4. Nodame Cantabile Anime set 


:DD Don't tell my mum. Muahahahaha.


And I have 'successfully' finished reading Nodame Cantabile manga Chapter 1-23. Again, muahahahha *evil laughter*.


How's class? Lectures? So far, ALL my lecturers are foreigners


1. Pharmaceutical Microbiology : Dr Elamin (Sudan), Dr Khin Ma Ma (Myanmar)
2. Organic Chemistry : Dr. Qamar (India). He is charming and charismatic. I enjoyed his lectures. And thus, I'm starting to love Organic Chemistry. :)
3. Pharmaceutical Analysis: Dr. Mokhlesur (Pakistan, if I'm not mistaken). He's very generous when giving us marks and his quizzes are quite 'tolerable' and 'answerable' thus can give us more marks (if we study) yaay!
4. Biochemistry: Dr. May Khin Soe and Dr. Lwin (both from Myanmar). Dr. May is really nice. We haven't had any lectures with Dr. Lwin yet.
5. Islam: Knowledge and Civilization: Philosophical class which promotes us to think out of the box. Is there such thing as ghosts? HOHOHO


Pharmacology belum start lecture lagi sebab Dr. Razak dengan Dr. Wan Azizi baru balik dari Mekah.


Oh yeah, being a class rep equals to lots of works. That, plus having to tolerate with some of the classmates' +____+ behaviours. Let's leave that aside for a while. Hahaha.


Studying takes a lot of discipline. I was reading Audrey Niffenegger's 'Her Fearful Symmetry' just now. I mean, I was so engrossed with the novel that I was actually thinking of snuggling on my bed, reading it till it's finished (and maybe I'd end up sleeping). But no, I have to study Organic Chemistry for the quiz tomorrow so okay, I put the book aside and start studying. I mean, continue studying :P


I love Organic Chemistry and I don't want to make my lecturer (and myself, my mum) upset so I must try my best to score high marks for this subject.

And I'm alternating between writing my novel, reading 'Her Fearful Symmetry', reading 'Chronicles of Narnia 7 in 1', reading Jean Ure's 3 in 1, watching Nodame Cantabile anime, and studying. I did all these everyday. I hope this routine will continue till the end of the sem (especially the studying part). Haha. A bit of writing (expressing ideas and creativity), a bit of reading ( learning how to develop stories, learning sentence structures- thus helps in writing, cultivating imagination. Albert Einstein said that the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination, take that, take that! :P),  a bit of entertainment (watching anime, of which I only watch when I'm eating and after studying- as a reward  give to myself for finally finished revising the entire chapter, haha) and of course, studying, which is my main priority.


Dr Qamar said 'Be sincere in learning, studying,'. That's what I'm doing now (or at least try to do). To be sincere in everything I do, to have faith in Allah and insya-Allah, with His Wills and Blessings, everything good will fall into place.


Well, that's all from me now. You might have this thought in your mind 'Ape ni budak ni esok quiz pun nak update blog. Ada hati nak dapat Dean's List' and I would say 'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA,'


Even the poor and the fools have the rights to dream. So can I. Hmmph!


Sayonara~~ and thanks for reading ^^

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Becoming a Drug Dealer

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

The agony is over. I've already checked my result for Semester 1 of Year 1 in Kulliyyah of Pharmacy. Alhamdulillah! Thank you Allah! :D

 It's not that excellent, and it's not too bad either. I'm going to maintain my GPA around that range and I'll try my best to increase it for the next semester. ^^

Speaking of  it, I really hope that each coming semester will be better better and better, with CGPA that is higher, higher and higher.

The second semester will commence tomorrow and I must say, the subjects for the semester are tougher as compared to the first semester. *gulp*

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY  (4 credit hours)
PHARMACEUTICAL MICROBIOLOGY (4 credit hours)
MEDICAL BIOCHEMISTRY (3 credit hours)
FUNDAMENTALS OF PHARMACOLOGY (3 credit hours)
PHARMACEUTICAL ANALYSIS I (3 credit hours)
UNGS 2040K (3 credit hours)
STUDY CIRCLE 2 (0.5 credit hour)

Total: 20.5 credit hours! *faint* But I bet the kulliyyah will lower down the credit hours of one of the subjects above. We are not allowed to take more than 20 credit hours per semester.
 
Yeah, face it (this goes to me). Yeah, now you know it (this goes to you). Pharmacy students have the highest accumulation of credit hours and contact hours (per semester, per year, per graduation) out of all the courses offered in IIUM
 
Pharmacy is not a piece of cake *rolled eyes* It's a piece of raw, leathery, freshly slaughtered meat that you are forced to shove down your throat. *what kind of comparison is this?*
 
So, another 5 months to be spent in UIA Kuantan ( 16 weeks of lectures, 1 week, 2 weeks of revision period).
 
But along hardship, comes ease. Allah has promised that. :)
 
You know why?
 
The university knows that we had gone through a really difficult time during the 4 months period (Sakit fizikal, mental, emotional semua ada) and thus they do not allow us to take short semester and they insists that we should rest and take a really long vacation during the 2 months short semester period. Plus one month semester vacation after short semester, making it 3 months!
 
What, you don't understand. OKAYYY
 
2 months (short semester for other students from other courses) + 1 month (semester vacation after short semester) = 3 months of holidays for Pharmacy students.
 
Yeah, 3 months! AWESOME!!!
 
What makes it more AWESOME is that the government had decided to standardize the academic calendar for all universities in Malaysia. So, UIA is granting TWO more months of holidays to its (?) students!
 
3 months + 2 months (extra holiday due to standardization of holidays) = FIVE FREAKING MONTHS!!!
 
YESSS!!!!
 
What? Masih tak faham ke? Makan kismis banyak-banyak lain kali.
 
Senang-senang tengok ni la...
 
Important Dates for Semester 2, 2010/2011
University Academic Calender 2010/2011
University Academic Calender 2011/2012

Credits to Jem

UIA IS AWESOMEE!!!!

Apa ni, belum masuk new semester dah fikir pasal cuti? Like, who doesn't? :PP

For the next semester, my resolutions are ;

1. To study smart
2. To get to know my coursemates better
3. To spend more time with friends
4. To try something new
5. To get involved with outdoor activities
6. To meet new people
7. To enjoy my university life. :D
 
In a nutshell, I couldn't wait for the second semester to start and for it to be over. ;D
 
And I was elected to become the class representative for my batch (Rx9) next semester *faints*
 
BYE!!

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Bookers' Heaven

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)
Bookers' Heaven. It is a term that I invented, referring to a some sort of heaven for the book lovers (bookers). I know that Bookers is the  WRONG word but it seems cool,  and Booker's Heaven seems appropriate for the title of a book, or in this case; a blog entry. So, there it goes, BOOKERS' HEAVEN. A heaven for those who love books. =)

We went to Chowrasta Market in Penang, yesterday. And I found discovered one of the best places on Earth...


BOOKERS' HEAVEN! The first floor of Chowrasta Market houses several bookstores that sell old, new, second-hand, used books!



New books at a price of RM20 each! The real price at MPH is about RM30+ CHEAPO, RIGHT????



New, fresh books wrapped in plastic at RM20 each! :)


A heaven for bookers of different ages and that includes teenagers and children


Customers with the Book Dealer


I could just run, dancing happily amidst the mountains of books just like an Oompa Loompa!



I wish I could just gobble up all these books just like Augustus Gloop and keeping them to myself, saying 'Precious, my precious!' just like Gollum.


 Sweet Valley Twins for RM2 each~!! I kid you not!
I remember reading Sweet Valley when I was in primary school. Now, you couldn't find any Sweet Valley Twins books in the major bookstores such as MPH. I guess they have stopped the publication of this series. :(

Ancient bookcase filled with ancient books

So, if you're going to Penang, be sure to drop by at Chowrasta Market. Warning, the book dealers could be too eager and earnest sometimes. You need peace when browsing for books right?

The first book dealer asked 'What are you looking for?'
  I said 'Oh, I'm just browsing,'
'Okay, continue browsing then,'

When I went to the second book store, the second book dealer asked
'What are you looking for?'
'Sweet Valley ada tak?'
and off he went to bring a stack of Sweet Valley books. Pergghhh.

Yeah, they are very helpful. It is almost impossible to find the books you want by yourself, of which they might be buried under the mounds of books and never be found forever *dramatic tone*.

Oklah, the book dealers are EXTREMELY NICE AND HELPFUL! You can even bargain with them!

It's not just fictions. You can buy reference books, religious books, comics (Archie's, etc), almost everything!

My mum said 'Next time, you can just buy your books here. No need to go to MPH,'

:)


P.S It's a good thing that Penang is situated just about 30-45 minutes of journey from Sungai Petani! (minus the never ending traffic jams, of course =___= )

P.P.S The ancient books reminded me of my ancient school library (Convent School, established 1951) :P

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Interesting Blog Award

Thanks to Kak Hanis yang bagi award ni. My blog is not that interesting, BTW. Haha

1) hanasakura-tomodachi.blogspot.com di mata anda.
Kak Hanis ni brilliant, tu sebab dapat sambung Ph.D kat Jepun. Pengalaman hidup dia kat sana bagi inspirasi yang satu hari saya akan jejakkan kaki ke Negara Matahari Terbit tu. Dan dia friendly walaupun kenal melalui blogosphere je dan tak pernah jumpa in real life. xD

2)Nama blog anda dan kenapa anda letak nama itu
Sarah Kushairi. Nama saya Sarah. Nama bapak saya Kushairi. Simple!

3)URL blog anda dan daripada mana datangnya idea itu
sarahkushairi.blogspot.com. Sama alasan macam di atas

4)Apakah kaedah dalam penulisan anda
Sebab saya gila-gila, saya mempunyai kecenderungan untuk menulis post yang gila-gila juga. Haha. kadang-kadang genre saya berbeza juga. Isu semasa, movies, music, buku, semua saya masukkan sekali.

5)Apa perasaan anda bila tengok blog orang lain cantik dan menarik sedangkan blog anda tidak
Saya tak kisah pun. Saya tak reti guna photoshop. LOL. Asalkan tak menyemak pandangan mata, tak kisahla.

6)Bilakah blog anda diwujudkan
Disember 2007. Lepas habis exam SPM. =)

7) Siapakah orang pertama tahu dan menjadi follower blog anda?
Orang pertama tahu adalah Jem, kawan sekolah sejak darjah tiga sampai sekarang. Dia yang ajar HTML codes, perkenalkan bloggers popular kat blogosphere ni, semua pasal blog dia la sifu saya. Kawan-kawan sekolah aje yang tahu. First follower pulak tak tau siapa sebab time tu followers punya application belum ada (eh, betul ke, LOL)

8) Sila tag 5 orang lain
saya rasa blog anda INTERESTING! (dan anda selalu comment kat posts saya :) )
a) MALIZAH sebab dia best friend saya sejak form 1 xD
b) JEMM sebab blog dia selalu letak gambar kawan-kawan sekolah xD
c) JOOLEEYAH sebab blog dia jadi rujukan macam mana nak bina ayat dengan baik xD
d) SYIDAH! sebab dia ex-roommate sejati selama 2 tahun! xD
e) ALONG MACHE sebab case studies dia sangat menarik xD
f) DAISUKI sebab dia tulis ayat pendek-pendek senang orang nak baca xD
g)  BUN sebab dia writes from his heart xD
h) LISA sebab dia punya blog AWESOME! xD
i) KAK TIMI sebab dia sempoi! xD

eh, 9 orang pulak. Takpe, suka hati saya nak bagi award kepada sesiapa pun. Saya seorang yang pemurah. Haha.

To the guys, sorry if this 'award' is girlish. :P
Kepada yang lain. Jangan sedih. Nanti saya dapat award lain saya akan anugerahkan kepada anda pula.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

P.Ramlee- The History Channel

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

Pagi tadi tengok P.Ramlee punya documentary kat History Channel. Dan saya menangis. Takdela menangis teresa-esak, mind you. Cuma keluar air mata aje. Sebak, tersentuh, terkejut. Selama ni baca biografi P.Ramlee tak pernah tau yang dia sebenarnya hidup susah waktu zaman kejatuhan dia. Broke, takde duit. Selama ni tengok cerita P.Ramlee gelak je tengok dia buat lawak. Tu waktu zaman kegemilangan. Memang sedih sangat sangat la tengok documentary ni. Aziz Sattar pun sebak bila cerita yang dia datang rumah P.Ramlee nampak dia makan nasi dengan telur je. P.Ramlee merupakan seorang seniman! Bila dia jatuh, sikit je orang nak tolong dia, nak support dia.

Lepas tu bila dia dah meninggal baru la media semua sibuk-sibuk. Biasalah, manusia kan. Bila seseorang tu dah takde barulah nak terkenang.

Everyone should watch this.

















Beethoven's Sympony No.7 Movement 1, 2,3, 4

 Ludwig Van Beethoven's Symphony no 7  is divided into four movements. The four movements are different in terms of tempo and structure..

1) Symphony no.7 1st movement




2) Symphony no.7 2nd Movement



3) Symphony no.7 3rd Movement




4) Symphony no 7 4th Movement 




Movement 1 still tops my list. Followed by Movement 4 and 4.  Movement 2 is the most boring one as it is in a really slow tempo and I can't wait for it to finish once I listened to it. >__<

I wish to see a live performance of this symphony. Movement 1!

And I'm going to download ALL Beethoven's songs, and Brahms, and Rachmaninoff and other concertos and put them in my MP3 (of which I have not yet owned one :P)

Happy Reading! :)

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

Howdy folks!

First of all, sad to say that I didn't win NaNoWriMo. I know, I still have less than 24 hours to verify my novel but let's be realistic. How on earth can I manage to rack my brain by writing another 25,000 words?
I started a bit late, which is just last week because I had to concentrate on my final exams which started from the end of October till 13th of November. Half of the month had passed.
Yeah, excuses, excuses. It's just an excuse. I might have given up on NaNoWriMo but it doesn't mean that I'll be giving up on my novel. So, I'll just continue writing! Besides, there is always another NaNoWriMo next year (insya-Allah kalau umur panjang dan sihat). This is my first NaNoWriMo. Maybe I didin't manage to make it to 50k this year, but I learned something. I gain a wonderful experience! And in order to win next time, I need strategies. And I will interact with other NaNoWriMos in the forum by sharing ideWinning 50k without gaining new friends/internet buddies is just bland, tasteless, flavourless.

Jem on NaNoWriMo: Why are you pressuring yourself? Tak senang cuti!

LOL.

I just got my scholarship money. Yaay! And the first thing I wanted to do is to buy BOOKS! BOOKS! and MORE BOOKS!
But sad to say, in order to buy books, I have to finish reading the unread and half-read books that are
currently residing in my overflowed bookshelf.



Nice, girlish cover, right? The real price is RM 62.30 from MPH. But I got it for RM20.00 from Daily Books. And it's in HARDCOVER! :D And it's quite thick. 514 pages. They're making a movie out of this book, if I'm not mistaken.


Muahaha, baru nak baca Eclipse and Breaking Dwan? Yes, you're right! Beli 1 tahun sebelumnya, baru nak habiskan baca 1 tahun selepasnya. :P

Buku Dan Brown paling bosan to tell the truth. Jane Eyre tu complete edition. Time sekolah rendah dulu baca abridged edition.


TOTAL: 5 BOOKS

Ok, bye.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

What if I'm pregnant??!!

I met this one fool cool guy and he wasn't like any other guys I've met. He's like the other half of me. He completes me. I can act the way I do, being my own self when I'm with him.

So, this is how it goes.

And one day, I went to Popular Bookstores in Megamall Kuantan. I was looking through new books, then I saw Terry Pratchett's Unseen Academicals. Like, OMG! I've been waiting to sink my teeth into it for a long time! Then I saw a really cool guy, he was reading a book, immersed into his own world, unaware of the surroundings. I couldn't help but to stare at him. Kakkoii!
 Then he caught me staring at him. Embarrassed much?? I looked away. And when I was going to pay for the book. Oopsie! I forgot that I only have RM10 in my purse. Tu la, JPA tak masuk lagi! Then, with a heavy feeling, I put the book back into the rack.

He saw me did that. And he asked 'Why? Aren't you going to buy it?'
Whoa! He speaks in perfect ENGLISH!

'Err?' cat got my tongue.
And without us realising it, we started discussing about the kind of books that we've read, which one is better, the movie adaptation of Da Vinci Code or the novel itself? We had fun. Like, totally. He's my type of guy. You know, crazy about reading and books. Like magic, we sort of clicked.

He asked for my number of which I didn't give. Cannot~!
But I gave him my facebook email. And for the next days, weeks, we contacted each other. One day, we met each other again in Popular Bookstore. What do you expect, Kuantan doesn't have MPH or Borders!

We looked at each other into the eyes, mesmerized with each other's beauties (please fetch yourself a basin to throw up) and he held my hand. And. the whole event can be summarized in three words.

We did it.

And suddenly I felt an immense regret, I was crying. He said he'll be responsible. This is never happening! I have committed a really grave sin. I really hope that all this is a nightmare and it will all be OK once I wake up. I decided to repent, I pray to Allah that 'Please, don't make that happen,', decided to move on, pretending it never happens. After all, we have to keep moving forward, right?

And I didn't contact him ever since. In fact, I've deleted him from my list of friends in facebook! He kept on sending friend requests but I blocked him. I feel really angry with him. THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! I'm a UIA student for goodness sake!

And so I went on doing my so-called duties as a student, carrying on with my normal daily life. But of course, life is never the same again. I feel really guilty. I didn't tell anyone. Not even my parents! No way!

I'm an optimistic person. I'll move on, that's what I thought. Then I realised I missed a cycle.

'Ok,never mind. It's normal la right, inconsistent menstrual cycle. It must be because of the hormones,'

And I got more and more worried when I had missed THREE menstrual cycles. As a health-based student, I don't need the pregnancy test to confirm that I'm pregnant. I just know it. After all, I did it, right?

I got so scared and started to cry. I couldn't concentrate in class. I don't have any mood to study. My future dreams are ruined! I imagined myself becoming all famous and successful one day
and suddenly all those papparazis took a sneak peek into my past life and they found out that I had a child out of wedlock and all? NOO!!!

I once thought of an abortion but didn't do it based on 3 reasons.
1. How on earth am I going to find accommodation in Thailand to abort my child?
2. I'm afraid of pain.
3. I have to study for a series of quizzes so if I aborted my child it will take several months to recover and I'm afraid of pain.

But later on, people will find out! My  stomach  my uterus will grow bigger. How am I supposed to hide the controversial state of my stomach?

Then I began to eat a lot. A lot of people commented that I'm a bit chubby and my stomach is a bit bloated. I said 'It must be because of the food and I need to eat a lot since I'm all stressed out with the coming final exam,' And the miraculous thing is that I didn't experience morning sick.

When my mum called me I was really sad for dissapointing her. I cried each time I hung up the phone after finished talking to her.

The distance between my Mahallah and the Kulliyyah of Pharmacy is approximately 1 km away and you have to walk under a hot scorching sun to reach there.

One day, I fainted on the road. My friends brought me to the clinic and the doctor said shouted

'ARE YOU PREGNANTTT?????'

I just nodded weakly. And she conveyed the bad news to the mahallah principal. Mahallah principal told my parents. My mum called me and she cried on the phone,saying how sinful I am, how dissapointed she is, my father didn't say anything as he was very very dissapointed. My mum said I'm supposed to set good examples to my siblings. And what will happen if her relatives and friends know about this?

I cried as well. I hate this wriggly thing that always kicked me in my uterus. I hate the cool guy. I hate myself for loving books too much thus falling in love lust with a guy who is a bibliophile!

And later on, everyone in Kulliyyah of Pharmacy knows I'm pregnant. And then everyone in UIA Kuantan knows that. My friends were so shocked. I isolated myself from them. Then the Dean issued me a dismissal letter. A student becoming pregnant out of wedlock is TOTALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE in UIA, the same goes with other universities in Malaysia.

My parents don't want to fetch me from Kuantan as they are too embarrassed and angry.
I purchased a bus ticket and throughout the 12 hours long journey from Kuantan to Sungai Petani, I was busy thinking about my fate, my destiny, my future.

When I got home, I got one hell of scoldings. My mum were crying, my dad was really mad at me. My siblings too, were sad and I thought over and over again 'WHAT HAVE I DONE???'

My mum said that I shall deliver the child and give it to someone. Then I said 'No, I want to raise him/her,'.
  I could try to increase my blog traffic so that I can depend solely on Nuffnang for my monthly income. I'll get a lot of money and I'll take really good care of my child.

But for now, I need money. And I dare not to ask for it from my parents, not after what I did.

Anyway, I've learned not to care too much about what people thought of me. Who cares? At least I did not have the slightest intention of throwing away the baby once I have secretly delivered it. And of course, I'm not going to deliver it in the toilet and dumped it into the toilet bowl! YUCKS! I have committed a really grave mistake and I'm not going to commit another one.

I'm still struggling right now. I'm pregnant all right, so what?

To pregnant girls out there! Don't even think of throwing away your child like that once you've found out that you're pregnant. Don't even think of an abortion!There are many alternatives! You could go to the
 School for Pregnant teenagers (except that I'm no longer a teen nor am I a school student)
 or any rehab centres. OPTIMISM IS THE KEY!

If you're not willing to face those horrible feelings, don't even think of having sexual relationships BEFORE you're legally married. You wouldn't want to become like me! This immense guilt will never be washed away. :(

                                                  *                      *                             *

GOTCHA! I am a self-proclaimed drama queeen who has a wild imagination. I like to imagine things. Ever thought of what's going to happen if you accidentally got pregnant before getting married?
I used to write lots of these 'What ifs stuffs. Writing these kinds of stuffs make me become more cautious, responsible, careful. I would often imagine about the worst case scenarios that would happen if I did this or that. It's kind of a self-reflection in a way. Helping me to think rationally before deciding to do something. And I pray they will never ever happened, Allah forbids that please!


It's because I watched this earlier on. It struck me on how relaxed Juno is. How relaxed her parents are when responding to such situation. Imagined if it was me. I guess those western people are too liberal and open minded that the thought of their daughters getting pregnant is considered normal. And somehow,  it makes me reflected back on the cases that I've seen, read and heard in the media. On teenagers getting pregnant, those who did it, baby dumping, school for pregnant teenagers. Haish. I wouldn't want to experience all that. No!

Inspiration, I need inspiration! I need to finish my novel! 

With that, thank you for reading. Adieu and assalamualaikum. :)

The Good Old Days (1996)

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)

I watched this chinese series when I was 7 and 8 (three seasons, a total of 100 episodes). I got to say that it's the most memorable Chinese drama I've ever watched. =)

In the good old childhood times of 1997-1998, I would watch this on TV3 at 6.00 p.m every weekdays. I got really addicted to it. Hehe. I guess that this is the FIRST EVER Chinese drama I've ever watched, making it more memorable.

A brief synopsis of the series (based on what I could remember, the reason I wrote the synopsis is because I wanted to test my memory :P)

It is set in China, before World War II, before the Japanese invaded China, in the 1930s, I guess. During the China Revolution. There was one rich family and a poor servant girl named Sau Hao (played by Amy Chan). The head of the family has two wives. The first wife is sick, she likes Sau Hao and she asked her son, Ho Sang to marry Sau Hao. Ho Sang had another lover but he had no choice but to fulfill his mother's wishes. And so they got married but Ho Sang doesn't love her and kept on ignoring her. Sau Hao was well-liked by the other members of the family. Then one day, the mother died. Ho Sang is devastated, he tried to kill himself but is stopped by Sau Hao. From that event, Ho Sang started to realise how kind and lovable Sau Hao is.

Okay. There was war at the North of China at that time. Ho Sang is a patriotic man. He had enlisted himself in the army, with many objections from his family members, especially his father. Sau Hao is an understanding wife who understands (LOL) her husband's dream of seeing the whole China becomes united (err).

So, he went to the battlefield. Suddenly a woman (forgot her character's name, but her real name is Sheren Tang) came into the family's house, saying she is pregnant with Ho Sang's child. Sau Hao is really kind so she let her stay with the family. The family members didn't like her, at first. They hated her even more when she accidentally caused the miscarriage of Sau hao's pregnancy (is this sentence correct? :P).

Sheren gave birth to a baby girl. Sau Hao loved the child as her own. Then, the Japanese invaded China and they moved to Guangzhou . At first Ho Sang continuously wrote letters to Sau Hao. Sau Hao and Sheren together with their family members built up a new life in Hong Kong. They opened up a clothes shop. Then Sau Hao received a letter saying Ho Sang is dead. Sau hao and Sheren become good friends who stick togetehr through thick and thins.

Ho Sang is not dead. He was badly injured and there was a nurse taking care of him. When he woke up, he lost his memory and he fell in love with the nurse. BLURGHHH.
Ho Sang's younger brotehr, Ho Man likes Sau Hao but Sau hao still loves her husband. Bla bla. Then they found Ho Sang but Ho Sang couldn't remember Sau Hao and Sheren. He got married with the nurse already. I hate the nurse. She wanted to keep Ho Sang to herself. HUH!

Then Ho Sang recovered his memory. Then he realised he doesn't really love the nurse. The one he loves the most is Sau Hao. Sheren is in love with a rich guy in Hong Kong who always help her. It was a love-hate relationship at first. Then her daughter (hers and Ho Sang's) grows up and got enrolled into a Medical School. Ho Man married Sau Hao's youngest sister. Sau Hao delivered a baby boy. Then the nurse got divorced with Ho Sang and continued being an army nurse, and she fell in love with a soldier.

The end of the series is very very very memorable. It is in 1996, Ho Sang and Sau Hao are already old. They have grandchildren, China and Hong Kong are modern cities. As they sit down, they reminisced The Good Old Days.

First opening



Second opening. You should listen to this song! It's really romantic xD



And you could get a brief glimpse of the whole story by watching the videos.

and I LOVE THE SONGS! Although they're in Cantonese, and I couldn't understand Cantonese :P

You can watch 'The Good Old Days on NTV7 at 12.30 a.m every weekdays. Hehe

You also can read the summaries from these sites

The Good Old Days Drama Summaries

P.S Re-watching old dramas makes me sad. :(

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

NaNoWriMo Blues Part 1

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)



I got tired. I'm actually thinking of cheating!
How? By copying the contents of my blog to the word count scoreboard. :PPP
Meg Cabot actually caught me cheating!
But no, I'm not that pathetic.

8 more days to go and currently my word count is at pathetic 12,630. Aiming to reach 15,000 by this evening. And going to write 5000 more tonight. My target for today is 20,000 words! Oh yeah!

My story is divided into Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. The same story but different genres for each part. Heh. You might feel that there's no connection between the first part and the second part, but as you read part 3, you will discover that part 1 and part 2 are actually connected and related. Part 3 pratically concludes what happened throughout the story. Sounds complicated? Not really.

So, what is it about? You'll see. :P

Why am I doing this? Life is short. I wanted to try everything that is possible to attain. Athough my novel is not 'publishable', at least I could tell someone that throughout my 20 years living on Earth, I had at least successfully written TWO novels. This is my second novel. I completed the 1st novel when I was 18 and it's in Malay, Also, there will be lots of regrets if I didn't manage to finish it. NaNoWriMo only comes once a year and I need something to be proud of, something that actually motivates me, consoling me during the horrible hours of lecture weeks next semester.

What did I actually do to gain ideas? Lots of prayers, haha, reading (read: CLEO and COSMOPOLITAN :P), going all bonkers and crazy, and yes, listening to sad instrumental music really helps.

I don't care whether it is a good story or not (to others). I just want to finish it and get my hands on the swanky NaNoWriMo certificate! And of course, I would want to brag to others that I managed to finish my novel in a matter of weeks! (less than 4 weeks, to be precise). :P

For now, it's QUANTITY that matters, not QUALITY. Imagine, if I sit down, looking blankly at the computer screen, typing the sentences, then felt that they are not good enough, deleting them, writing again, deleting again, my God, the novel will never be finished!

 And I'm using simple words that everyone can understand. My vocabulary is not that vast and I'm not good in constructing flowery, literature-ish sentences.

The first draft is always about quantity, the matter of finishing your story. The same goes with the second draft, adding bits by bits, then the third drafts and so on. You need to keep on editing and editing. Writing a novel is HARD! To all novelists out there,  I salute you!

And this is a conversation between me and my sister

Moi: I'm so tired!
Moi sister: of what?
Moi: of writing!
Moi sister: You're not writing, you're typing!
Moi: It's the same la!
Moi sister: Writing kan guna tangan
Moi: Habis tu, typing guna kaki ke?

In case you don't know, 'Moi' is pronounced as 'Mua', which is French for 'me' or '  I  ' ( I guess). see, you learn something new from my blog! HAHAHAHAHA. 

Okay, got to go back to writing. 2370 words to go! And I aim to finish it by 6 p.m

And eh, I just realised that I forgot to take my lunch. GRRPPBBBPP (bunyi perut berkeroncong).

Howl's Moving Castle by Joe Hisaishi

Assalamualaikum and hello to all :)

I just loooovvvveeee instrumental music. I love classical music. I love Beethoven, Mozart, Brahms', Rachmaninoff, Bach and other composers in the Classical period. I love Yiruma, I love Joe Hisaishi, I love any instrumental music. They are very soothing and relaxing.

I have an unfulfilled childhood dream of being able to perform in an orchestra. Of which I think it will just remain as a dream. :P

I really wish that I could watch a real live orchestra ( I watched the first orchestra performed by college students when I was nine). Nodame Cantabile tops my list of most favourite Japanese Drama. LOL.

 The song I'm currently in love with. :D

Howl's Moving castle by Joe Hisaishi. It's an old song.



Now, after listening to this, how could one not being able to appreciate and love instrumental music?

P/S: Syidah kena dengar lagu ni! :D

I wish I could be honest

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

For the past few months, maybe for the past one year, I feel that I'm not being true to myself while writing the blog posts. As more people read my blog, I feel more restricted. (but really, thank you for reading my blog :D)I could not express myself freely as I did before. I couldn't show my true cranky behaviour, writing irrelevant posts like what I did 2 years ago. I'm worried about other people's perceptions and I really wish I'm not.

Somehow, I don't think it's right to expose everything about yourself up in the net, especially the problems you're facing as you will be labeled as an 'emo'. A slang for someone who is constantly emotional. :P

I seriously think I should not care too much about people's thoughts or else my creativity (so-called) will be suppressed. before, I could write more than 4 long blog posts in a day but now I couldn't.

I'm a person who is easily excited. When I discovered new things, do something that is fulfilling, or see/observe whatever events I will become all excited and the best medium to express this feeling is through writing. I wish to share my experiences with other people and thus, I wrote them all in a blog.

When I'm feeling down or depressed, I would often write about them in the blog. But as I read back, I feel ashamed and thus deleted the post.

Even if I experienced a writer's block, I would write just about everything (crazy, cranky stuffs, of course) but at least I'm writing. I do notice that my creative juice is slowly being drained nowadays.
When I started this blog in 2007, I had a great fun exploring the wonderful world of blogs. I had fun changing the templates, I had fun spamming my friends' cboxes. Maddy, Jem and Farhana were my first blog buddies. I miss the carefree times we had, reading and commenting other people's blog posts. Maddy even said that
' Reading your blog makes my day!'

I am not a serious, responsible, diligent, careful, excellent person. I'm the opposite of all that. I love to laugh, I love to talk, I love to make jokes, I am somehow the clown of the class (maybe among my friends) and I love being all that. I am a weirdo and I'm proud of that fact.

In a conclusion, I should write for myself, not for others. Something or anything that I think is good, not what people think is good. I should be who I am. But one thing. I shall not be emo.

Thank you for reading. :)

Thursday, 18 November 2010

Holiday-ing

Assalamualaikum and hello to al :)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all Muslims around the world. 

I am now in....

PULAU PANGKOR! =D

ITU SAJA

(LOL. Ikut trademark Nikmah pulak :P)

Monday, 15 November 2010

Sean Biggerstaff in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. =)

Remember this cute guy?


Oh, no no. Not the specky one on your left. Everyone knows and will always remember the specky guy. The one on his left. The Quidditch captain of Gryffindor. The Keeper. The cute but unnoticeable supporting character.




Righto.

It's Oliver Wood, one of my favourite characters in the book. *dreamy look*

Named after Germany National Team former captain and goalkeeper, Oliver Kahn. .
 I made up the fact myself. But it's coincidental, right? Oliver Wood was the keeper and captain of the Quidditch team. Oliver Kahn held the same positions as well. Could it be that...

J.K. Rowling secretly supports Germany over her own country during World Cup? *bewildered look*

Anyway, I digress.

Sean Biggerstaff only appeared in the first two movie directed by Christopher Columbus. I feel sad for him, LOL. The Harry Potter franchise survived EIGHT years without him. The last movie he acted in is 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' which was in 2002.

As I was surfing and wandering around The Internet World and Wikipedia World aimlessly, of which I couldn't remember how on Earth did I manage to type his name into the search box and....


Which is just AWESOME! A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!
Of course,  the Battle in the Great Hall is the most important and memorable event in the book! And the scene where Oliver Wood carries the dead body of Colin Creevy is really...disheartening.

Maybe he would just appear in one scene but oh who cares, like I'd said (or written), that particular one scene is so emotionally powerful that it would stir up different kinds of emotion, you get what I mean? Yeah, I haven't watched the movie (it's not out yet like, duh!) nor the trailer. But I've read the book.



I possess and had read all the books (tiada nada bangga di sini. Tiada apa-apa yang perlu dibanggakan, LOL. Oh yeah, the books in this picture are mine! :D )
Ok, back to the topic. I really hope that the camera will focus about 2-3 minutes or more on him. And let him speak a sentence or two, please!

Besides, who could forget that cheeky grin of his? :D


"You are the seeker,"

Err, is he still single? Was he even single before? ;)

Eh wait seminit! To think again, he's only going to appear in the 2nd installment of Deathly Hallows, am I right? HAHA. So much for being excited right now. :P

Disclaimer: Images of Sean Biggerstaff/Oliver Wood are googled.

the Geek of the Lord of the Rings

Post ni ketinggalan zaman ke? Bukan dah habis ke Lord of the Rings 7 tahun lepas? Oh, who cares!


All three movies! Done watching! I mean, done REwatching! :D
No matter how geeky I sound, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is the BEST! I repeat, THE BEST epic fantasy film I've ever watched! Like, seriously! Harry Potter pun boleh kalah tau! Twilight saga? Oh, purleaseeee...Tak masuk dalam senarai pun (the movies, I mean).

It was in 2004, and I was staying up late until 3 a.m  just to watch the ?th Academy Awards to watch the glorious moments of which 'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King won all ELEVEN awards it was nominated for!

Seriously, the movies are awesome! The books?

Err, I mean, the book. The only Lord of the Ring book I've ever bought.


I was twelve when I bought it. My vocabulary was not that vast back then. I found it difficult to understand some of the 'difficult' adult-ish words that Tolkien's using. Then I ended up not reading it. -_____-. Maalini, my classmate, also the best student for the English subject at school admitted that it was quite difficult to comprehend some of sentences, and she said that the selection of words are of high level English. We regarded it as an 'adult version' of Harry Potter. xD

 And after 8 years, when I tried to read it again (due to LOTR's movies influences), the first thing I did was smile. I could understand almost all the words in the book and thus it will not pose that much difficulty for me to start reading it again. I just couldn't believe that I didn't know the meanings of very very simple words like.... ah, tak payah. Bikin malu je.
 

Looks like Peter Jackson is making a new movie titled 'The Hobbit', which is actually the prequel of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It tells about Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf's adventures and how Bilbo managed to 'steal' the ring from Gollum and all. Can't wait! Okay, I'm turning into a LOTR geek, I'm afraid.



And I want a vintage Middle Earth map like this! Oh, screw it, vintage or not, I want any version of Middle Earth map where I can stick to my bedroom wall and analyse the war strategies used by Aragorn and others in the wars between Rohan and Gondor with Mordor (oh, how geeky). Where to buy eh?

and last but not least...



Don't you think that Gollum is AH-DOH-RA-BLE ??!!? :P

Hollywood version of hantu toyol, I must say.

Disclaimer: Images are googled.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

"Kakak, kakak buat apa??!!'

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

The Utama Express from Terminal Bas Kuantan departed at 9.05 a.m and I have safely arrived at Sungai Petani, Kedah at about 6. 40 a.m. I was sleeping throughout the long 10 hours journey. ;)

A few days before coming back to Sungai Petani, I had promised my 6 years old brother, Haziq that I'll play Play Station with him. Or even, accompany him while he's playing. Avatar, Hitman, Batman, Ninja Turtle, whatsoever. I had never liked playing Play Station or X box or whatsoever. I like Super Mario though. xD

But what did I do? Upon reaching home after having a heavy breakfast of masala tose and teh tarik at the Nasi Kandar restaurant, I switched on the computer and here I am, blogging, online-ing. Internet sangat laju oh sangat bestnya!

Haziq who's playing games downstairs keep on asking 'Kakak, kakak buat apa?
'Kakak tengah tengok komputer!'

5 minutes later

'Kakak,, kakak tengok komputer apa?'
'Kakak tengah tengok benda best! (lain macam je bunyinya) Nanti kakak turun!'

5 minutes later

'Kakak, kakak buat apa???'''
'Kakak tengah tulis kat komputer. Kejap tau!

LOL. Kesian.

Haha. XD
Well, you can't blame me. At home, you would never have to wait for more than a minute for a wepage to finish loading its contents.

While at UIA, guess what? 5 freaking minutes! Tu sebab tengok internet kat UIA membazir masa dan tenaga.

Syafiq's at UIA. Syazwani's at school. Dad and Danial went out. Mum's working. It's only me and Haziq in the house. What better things to do, right? ;P

Err, kanak-kanak zaman sekarang. -____-

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Finals are FINALLY over!

Assalamualaikum and hello to all. :)

FINAL EXAMS SEMESTER 1 2010/2011

23/10/2010 Halaqah/Study Circle Final Exam
27/10/2010 Tilawah Final Exam
29/10/2010 Pharmacy Practice Practical
31/10/2010 Islamic Worldview
1/11/2010 Islamic Input in Pharmacy
2/11/2010 Pharmacy Practice
3/11/2010 Common OSPE and Bahasa Melayu Lanjutan
4/11/2010 Physiology
6/11/2010 MCQ Islamic Input, Pharmacy Practice, Physiology
9/11/2010 Physical Pharmacy
10/11/2010 Anatomy and Histology
13/11/2010 MCQ Physical Pharmacy, Anatomy

YEAH! FINALS ARE OVER! And the first semester of the first year in Kulliyyah of Pharmacy has come to its end!

I think I did my best and OK (my definition of OK)  in all the subjects except Physical Pharmacy. It is the toughest paper out of those listed above. I really hope and I'll pray with all my might that I'll pass the subject! Insya-Allah.

 What? You think it's easy to score? Try taking the subject yourself! Physics Matriculation lagi senang tahu! Physics SPM tak payah cakapla (ceh, tiba-tiba berlagak pulak).

And the end of the semester marks the beginning of a four-weeks semester vacation! There are so many things I wanted to do!

1. Complete my novel (By the end of November)
2. Master 'Fur Elise' and 'play by ears' trainings.
3. Practice and master the art of driving. XD
4. Update blogs
5. Finish reading unread and half-read books

Eh, itu je ke? Oh, those are the compulsory things that I must do. Meaning, productive things that I intend to do during the 4 weeks vacation. Banyak-banyak aktiviti pun nanti tak terbuat. Cakap je lebih. HAHA.

Other side things
1. Watch available Japanese Dramas and movies in hard disk
2. Watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in cinema. :D
3. Dates with old school friends. :D

And family's gonna go for vacations around places in Malaysia! (of course la, duh!)
I'll try my best to update on that. 

I really really really so badly wanted to go to Big Bad Wolf's Book Fair. Imported fictions at a mere price of RM 9.00 each? OMG!!! I'm practically hyperventilating!

But it's in Selangor! Which is really sad. I wish I live in Selangor (for the sole purpose of going to book fairs around the state). I wish Kedah has lots of good bookstores. I guess I'll just have to wait for the MPH Book Fair next year. Which doesn't give that many discounts as compared to Big Bad Wolf. Which is really disappointing. Which makes me wanted to open my own bookstore one day. Apahal banyak sangat 'which' ni?

It's hard being a bookaholic, you know (drama queen's tone)

Oh yeah, know what? We Pharmacy students haven't gotten our scholarship money yet. Because OSC made a silly mistake of  forgetting to send our forms to JPA.  They have forgotten? Oh, really? Or, are they not alert enough? Okay, don't care.

Oh, cuti! Oh, Kedah! Oh, Sungai Petani! Oh, home sweet home!
Oh, Physical Pharmacy~~~ >__________<

I worry too much. Let's worry about it when the time comes. To think again, everything has been perfectly planned and destined for my own good. Why should I be worried at all? :D

Till then, assalamualaikum and bye!