Random thoughts on insecurities

Well, I don't mind if I'm not included in the specific lecturer or any lecturer's 'Scorers' List'. But really, deep inside my heart, I longed to be like one of those people in the list. The power is within me, if I do wanted to be included in the list. But to study just for the purpose of getting into the list? I prefer to be knowledge oriented, and to try to love what I am learning. I just want to gain knowledge. I wish the day will come where I could prove to everyone that even though I'm just an average person academic-wise, that I am not born a genius or someone with a natural talent, could also become successful. I'm not blaming them for just looking and judging a student based on her academic performances, they are lecturers, after all. But if I ever become a lecturer/educator (I like this word. An educator), I pray that I would look beyond a student's academic performances. I believe that everyone is special in their own ways. I would like to inspire my students instead of pushing them hard. Besides, Allah is the one who gave the rezeki. It does not necessarily mean that a person with the lowest ranking of the batch would become the least successful amongst his/her friends. Allah is fair, some people might be good in this and a mediocre at that. Again, the Rezeki comes from Allah. For the moment, I would just like to seize the day, go with the flow and most importantly, be HAPPY (and try not to become too lazy :P).

I like the way I look now. I'm no beauty queen, pageant or having the features of those beautiful but mostly plastic Korean celebrities. But I am blessed with what I have, with how I look physically. I am unique, there is no one in this world who looks exactly the way I look, because my features are the reminiscent of my parents, that I am theirs, I am a part of them, they are important parts of me. There are some people who are being taken seriously, or that being instantly liked on the first moment just because they are good looking. And then, there are people like me, who had to prove something and make some efforts to be noticed by other people, to let our capabilities and abilities let known, so that we would be taken seriously by others too. This in a way, holds various advantages, for we will continue to polish our skills and develop new ones. Besides, as I grow older, I have learned to accept my flaws, for they make up 'ME'. Looks might be important on the first glimpse, but in actuality, they are merely secondary attributes. Looks do not last as you age, but the qualities inside you, the skills that you have developed over the years out of insecurities, will ultimately secure your future, inshaa Allah. 

I want to be known as an ordinary person with no specific gifts whatsoever who excel in life by giving her best, doing the best that she could with every determination that she could muster. 

“I would like to be remembered as someone who did the best she could with the talent she had.”

― J.K. Rowling

There are bounds to be some disagreements between people. It is inevitable. We could only change one thing: which is how we deal with those disagreements. Besides, it would be no fun if everyone keep agreeing with you. You will become all big-headed, and look highly towards yourself, which is also called 'riak'. In a way, Allah had sent people to disagree with you so that you could look back and ponder about your ideas and later on realized that there are some truths in the disagreements. Every person had been sent to you for a purpose. 

Al Hujurat verse 13:  

" O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted" 

 May Allah grant us all guidance and patience, ameen. On a last note,

'An ordinary person with extraordinary achievements had given extraordinary efforts'

End of post. 

Day 2: Your Dream Profession(s)

I purposely added the 's' to 'profession'. It is simply because there are many things that I would like to do, and right now is the perfect time to list out all of them!

Okay, I have 30 minutes to do this! Starto!

1. Bookshop owner+writer

This sounds so perfect. My dream would be to open a bookshop. Not any bookshop which sells stationeries, have photocopy services, etc like you could see in most bookshops in Malaysia, but rather, a shop which sells only books- hence the name BOOKshop. :)

It need not to be massive or spacious like Kinokuniya or MPH Bookstores. One shop lot would suffice. The concept would be relaxing, laid-back, 'keep calm and start choosing a book' kind of thing. Whenever people come to my shop, I would be like Ollivander from Harry Potter and I'd say "It's not you who had chosen the book. It is the book who had chosen you". Okay stop it. 

And at the same time, I would write, write and write. Where else would be the most conducive place to write  other than in a bookshop? So yes, I would write and read and sell books. My whole life would be revolved around books. This sounds like a perfect profession. 

2. A travel writer

(How could I talk about traveling when I haven't even posted a single proper post about my trip to Taiwan?) The name says it all. Travelling and writing. I wish to step my foot in every country in the world before I die and write about my experiences there. Ameen. 

3. Head editor/Editor-in-chief for a magazine.

Yours truly had just been chosen to hold the most coveted (at least for me) post in any magazine. The HEAD EDITOR! In this case, it is only for the IIUM Pharmacy Students' Association (iPha) annually published magazine, nevertheless, I was very excited. I know that I have a HUGE responsibility trusted upon me, but I have this passion towards writing and anything to do with words (LOL) so it's okay! To tell the truth, I have been wanting to hold this post since I was in my 1st year (I was the 2nd Asst.Editor, 1st Asst.Editor in my 2nd year) so, Alhamdulillah, my dream had come true! The previous head editor had set up a really high standard for the magazine. Like Amiirah said, 'he had raised the bar really high' but never mind, I'll do my best, with Allah's help, inshaa Allah. 

And so, while writing out about my plans for the magazine, I couldn't help but to wonder, is this how it's like to work for a real magazine? Haha. 

4. Journalist/Anthropologist.

It is quite the same as the previous dream profession. I wish to write for a magazine rather than a newspaper (magazine is often published monthly, less stress as compared to the newspaper, I supposed). I wanted to write about life. The definition of life, how people perceived their lives, how they find meanings in their lives, how people realized about their purposes in this life. I know that at the end of the day, it would be directed back towards God. 

Stories like this. 

I'm aware that the Time magazine is published weekly, thank you. :) 

5. Medical Journalist.

I'm not sure whether I would pursue my studies to a higher level. But  if I decided not to take those major subjects like 'Pharmacology', 'Cancer and Chemotherapy' and stuffs, I would like to get enrolled in a journalism course. I don't want to be an ordinary journalist, I would like to become a medical journalist. The knowledge that I had gained during my undergraduate years would pave an easier path for me to become a medical journalist. I just need to learn how to write properly. T__T. My aim would be to create this sturdy bridge between the world of health and medicine with the general public. This might contradict with the previous point (number 4) but what if you combined life and medicine together? They are always correlated, aren't they? Medicines and knowledge about health are usually employed to prolong a person's life, isn't it? Everyone is going to die anyway. But before they died, have they found the meanings in their lives? This question is something that needs to be pondered upon not just by patients suffering from terminal illnesses, but also by people like you and me. 

6. Pharmacy Owner

I have this plan of opening a Pharmacy and establishing a pharmacy chain stores someday. Other than roaming around a bookstore, I love to explore a Pharmacy as well (typical of a Pharmacy student). I love being in a Pharmacy (I dislike being in a hospital, though). The types of Pharmacies that I have in mind are like these:

a) Kiehl's. Do you know that the founder of Kiehl's was a pharmacist? This famous cosmetics chain is founded as a single pharmacy in New York. (of course it takes hundred of years for them to become established as they do now, still, it is inspiring!). 

b) Boots Pharmacy. It's kind of like Malaysia's Guardian Pharmacy. 

7. An academician/a researcher for a university

If I were to pursue my Masters and Ph.D, I would be sure to take something that I have interests in. I don't want to suffer learning stuffs that I don't really like. >__<. So far, I like Herbal Medicine, Cosmeceuticals and anti-cancer and chemotherapy (I guess). I love Medicinal Chemistry and Drug Designing too but they are too complicated. Pharmacology requires you to deal with mice and rats (and I hate those rodents!). Well, let's see, shall we? 

8. Researcher for a Cosmeceutical Company.

For Loreal, Vichy, or I don't know, any kind of Cosmetics Company that requires R&D, I guess?

9. Drug Researcher 

I need to have the knowledge of Medicinal Chemistry and Pharmacology, of which both are difficult subjects. 

10. A full-time writer

Being a writer full-time in Malaysia is highly unlikely though. Plus, I would want to do other things as well. 

So, that's all from me! Yeah, I had great fun listing out my dream professions. But whatever it is that I decided to do later on, please let it be that I bring benefits to people around me and thus, doing my part of changing the world to a better place. Inshaa Allah. Most importantly, I would like to do it for Allah's sake. :)

Day 3: Who are you closest to? 

I already have an answer for this question. Haha. 

Thanks for reading and may you have a blissful and blessed day ahead! :) 

Salam'alaik....

Day 1: Write 10 facts about yourself

It's now or never!

Let's get to the point, shall we?

To be truthful, I've been thinking really hard on what to write for this particular topic. Suddenly, an idea popped into my mind. 'Why don't you write about your shopping habits? 10 facts about your (so-called)shopping habits?" So here it is! 

1. I first bought a shoes by myself(using my own money) when I was 22! xD Haha. It was a red, retro-look Oxford shoes. 50% discounts! I love it so <3 nbsp="" p="">

                                               Picture googled (but exactly the same one!) :D

2. As I don't really fancy shopping for clothes and stuffs , 90% of my clothes and shoes are bought by my parents. Alhamdulillah, jimat duit. xD

3. I first bought my own clothes at the age of 19. It was a T-shirt muslimah. LOL Sarah. 

4. Only in January 2013 had I first started buying things online. Being a bookworm, the first thing that I bought online is a book, of course! :D John Green's 'The Fault in Our Stars'. 

5. I spent money more on books than on clothes (see point number two). 

6. The first electronic item that I bought is a Sony MP3. At the age of 21. 

(The purple one)

7. When I was in my 2nd year, I used my JPA scholarship to buy a bicycle. Sadly, it is left abandoned for a long time now. I regret it. :( *sobs*

8. The most expensive thing I have ever spent is on flight tickets and registration fees for APPS Taiwan 2012. But it was worth it. :)

I've been to Taipei 101 yaay! 

9.  My scholarship allowances had just been banked in. I feel happy looking at the figures in my bank account, haha. xD. I decided not to spend my money to buy unnecessary things. I once thought of buying a new camera but my mom asked me "Do you really need it?" Urm, no. So I decided to listen to my mom and forego the camera. I have a lot of 'WANTS', of course, but for now, my 'NEEDS' are fulfilled, alhamdulillah. :)

Bye-bye Canon Powershot G12. :(

10. Whenever I go to Carrefour, East Coast Mall Kuantan, I'd buy this:

The cheap one with simple packaging. Usually costs below RM10 . :D 

Disclaimer: Images are googled! 

Day 2: Your Dream Profession.

 I KNOW that I'm gonna have lots of fun writing about this topic! :D 

With that, thank you for reading, may peace be upon us all! 

Jemput datang!

TOMORROW.

I jaga booth. T___T

Kalau nampak ada orang handle crossword puzzle tu, that's me. xD

Challenge Accepted!~

Salaam'alaik and a very good day to all.

My friend, Lisa had been doing it for the past 2 weeks (?) and I guess, the only way I could keep this blog  updated is by undertaking this so-called challenge too! xD 

Well actually, I have nothing better to do. And lately, I don't feel like writing and revealing every single insignificant thing to the public anymore (have I ever done such thing before? >_< )

Okayyy...So,what is this challenge all about, huh? 

For 30 days; though I must say that in my case, it is not necessarily to be a continuous 30 days, I must write based on 30 different topics, ranging from random facts about myself , how I got my first kiss (please don't hold any inappropriate thoughts about me, I shall explain about it later :P), my hobbies, favourite memory, up to the biggest fear I have in this life. 

To tell the truth, I have lost the will to blog. I didn't realize when does this start happening. It probably started early this year, where I did not post any blog entry for January 2013.T__T

Back to this challenge. When am I going to start doing it? Today? Tomorrow? 

Oh, I need to prepare the crossword puzzles for the Diabetes and Healthy Living Campaign this Sunday. Maybe I'm going to blog about it. See first (I still haven't blogged about Taiwan!) 

Maybe I'm going to start doing this challenge by tomorrow. 

Sarah is a procrastinator. =__=

Till then... xD

Knowledge-oriented

I'm already in my second semester of THIRD YEAR of studying (yes, gonna be a final year student soon, inshaa Allah) and  the thing is, I have become increasingly clueless and confused as to what am I actually doing here.

I often asked myself 

"What is the purpose of you being here, Sarah? To study about drugs and all those chemical structures and complex mechanism of actions? Why have you been fated to read Pharmacy?" 

What am I doing here? I don't have that much interest to what I've been learning and currently learning. I feel so constricted, I feel trapped, I feel as though someone had thrown me into this really deep hole and I really yearned to climb up of this hole and to be in the bright, beautiful, colourful world instead of this mundane, gloomy place. 

As you know (or didn't know), I keep asking another question to myself "Why am I being born a girl?" and I'm still seeking for the answer.

Eh, I'm not being deviant, I'm just asking questions and seeking for answers. Is that wrong? 

Even though I still haven't found the answers to both questions, I know one thing for sure, and I put my faith towards this particular verse from al-Quran.

Adh-Dukhaan verse 38

And so I believe, that there must be a VALID and SOLID reason on why I was born into this world, why Allah had made me a woman, and why it had been fated for me to be in this course. Why Pharmacy? Why not Law? Economics? Dentistry? Medicine? or even in those art-based courses that I would really love to be in like 'Bachelor of English and Literature', 'Anthropology', 'Journalism', 'Creative Writing', 'Filmmaking', etc?

Maybe there is something about/in Pharmacy that would bring benefits to me, or to everyone around me. Of course, you learned a lot from this course, and you learned a lot from other courses as well. But it's Pharmacy. Allah had decreed that Pharmacy is the best course for me. Maybe because it will bring out the best in me. Who knows? Allah works in mysterious ways that the human beings could never figure. That's the surprise, you know! :D One thing for sure, whatever happened is the best thing that ever happened to us. 

As for now, while incessantly figuring out about the purpose of my existence into this world, I have been praying to Allah

 "Please let me love what I learn, please let me become so passionate in seeking beneficial knowledge (i.e Pharmacy). Please let me be sincere in seeking knowledge. Please let me be knowledge-oriented. Please let me be interested in what I am learning. Please, let my aim of seeking knowledge solely be for the purpose of seeking your pleasure" (bad English, baaaddd English! Doesn't matter. At least Allah understands my prayer).

Well, seeking knowledge is reaaaallllyyyy hard. *sobs*. It's harder if you hold no interest towards the knowledge that you've been 'forced' to seek. You are forced to read, to memorize, to regurgitate everything during quizzes and examinations, but there's no feeling of satisfaction there. You just don't feel the 'sweetness' of seeking knowledge. I really want to have that feeling. 

For now, I would never stop praying to Allah for Him to turn me into someone knowledge-oriented, and I would also have to 'force' myself to love what I am learning. To be truthful, I forced myself to study for Allah's sake. It's like you know, your mother asked you to study, and you have to force yourself to study. But your mother could not turn you into someone knowledge-oriented. (she surely can, when she prays to Allah). Oh wait, I had never asked for my mom to pray for me to become 'knowledge-oriented'. I only asked her to pray that I could 'answer the exams and quizzes, LOL'. So next time, I must ask her to do that. Everyone knows that Allah holds preference towards a mother's prayer for her children than the prayers of the children themselves.. Anyway, I am immensely grateful for still having a mother who would pray for me. *sobs*. Thank you Allah. :')

So yes, please pray for me. I want to become knowledge-oriented! And so right now, I'm mustering all my courage, gathering all my strength to study for the sake of Allah. It may be difficult at first, but Allah had said.

Adh-Dhuha verse 4

It's not really the hereafter but hopefully this effort will be counted in the hereafter. 

Malay translation: "Dan sungguh, yang kemudian itu lebih baik bagimu daripada yang permulaan". 

roughly translated as "the end is better for you than the beginning"

Also,  my two favourite verses

Surah al-Insyirah verses 5-6 

Please pray for me. All the best everyone! :)

And please pray for #LahadDatu. :(

The Engaged Idealist

Engaged Idealists like you are extroverted and helpful. Others find you to be very congenial and inspiring - especially as you are always willing to see the best in the other person. Your humour, your energy and your optimism attract other people. Engaged Idealists are very good at communicating and are good at convincing and firing on others. That is why it is a matter of course that you often take over the leading role in groups. Your personality type often produces very charismatic persons.

Engaged Idealists have an unusually strong ability to empathise. You are tolerant and generous towards others; you sometimes tend to idealise your friends. You always try to suit everybody and want your relationships to be harmonious and satisfactory. To achieve this, you are prepared to invest a great deal and to put your requirements last. As Engaged Idealists are very considerate, there is the danger of you sacrificing and overexerting yourself for others. In your job, you therefore have to be very careful not to develop a burnout syndrome.

As an Engaged Idealist you are one of the extroverted personality types. You enjoy working in a colorfully diverse group of people who interest and inspire you. Working in a “secluded room” is not your thing. You enjoy emphasizing with those around you and soon everybody senses the high priority and importance people represent to you. Therefore a team-oriented project is just right for you.

Your insight into human nature, your feel for your colleague’s and/or subordinate’s positive sides and potentials and your preparedness to encourage and support everyone around you to the best of your ability quickly brings them closer to you. People like to ask you for advice, appreciate your caring ways and appreciate to be taken under your wings. Within your means you are always available to others who need you because you yourself enjoy the ultimate gratification of being able to help others to make the best of themselves and to be successful mediating conflicts among people.

You are well suited to be an executive: It is difficult to resist your charisma, your enthusiasm and your ability to excite and motivate others. Authoritarian management attitudes are not your thing; it is your way to convince others of a project’s reason and significance who will then look forward to follow you voluntarily. You place a lot of value on creating the willingness to cooperate in others and with your gift to motivate that usually comes easy to you. You do not enjoy conflicts, need harmony and invest lots of energy and time in a good working climate and a harmonic relationship of your colleagues among each other.

You can take the Test here

My comment: Well, quite true, quite true. I know myself best than anyone else right? :P 

I tend to love pleasing others. I wanted people to be pleased with me, then only I'll be pleased with myself. This is one of my major flaws. LOL. 

I used book vouchers to buy books online

Specifically, how to buy books from MPH Online- Where the Bookstore Comes to You. 

My experience:

1. Just order whatever books you wanted from MPH Online. Your purchase must be a minimum of RM100 if you wanted to use the 1 Malaysia Book Vouchers. I bought:

a) Dina Zaman's 'I am Muslim'. Just finished reading it. An enchanting read indeed. :)

Price: RM30.00

Dina Zaman's one of my favourite journalists. People might perceive her as someone liberal (not really, in my opinion) and this book features some people who practised liberalism in Islam. Non-practising Muslims and all. Strangely, this book makes me love Islam more. Haha. I love this book. 

b) Yasmin Mogahed's 'Reclaim Your Heart', which is not available is any of the bookstore I have frequented, and that it is freaking expensive for such a thin book (168 pages only!) ;( and so I use the book voucher to buy it instead of my own money. xD

Price: RM 81.80 >_<

Yasmin Mogahed is one of my favourite Muslim speakers. She's a journalist too. I read her articles on her website, listened to her podcasts,watched youtube videos about her and subscribed to her facebook page and I ADMIRE HER! I really wanted to get my hands on this book. Dear Yasmin Mogahed, I love you and your writings, but why does this book have to be so expensive? :(( . For us Malaysians at least. 

(images googled)

2. So, the total purchase amounts to RM111.80. I decided to just use RM100 out of the total of RM250 of book vouchers and I have to pay the remaining RM11.80 when the book arrives.

But you're going to pay it using ONE MALAYSIA BOOK VOUCHERS! It's not as easy as the conventional Maybank 2u Online Banking! Well, here is how it goes.

Yesterday, I received a call from IIUM Kuantan Customers' Service Department (Have no idea this department exists) and she directed me to the IIUM Kuantan's Pos Malaysia Office, which is located at the Kulliyyah of Medicine building.

The very cool Post officer said that a parcel had arrived for me to collect it and to present my book vouchers and give the remaining money to him.

What? Do I really have to go to KOM (Kulliyyah of Medicine) to collect it? Pfftt.

What's more, he said that I need to have the official stamp from my kulliyyah. MPH Bookstores required me to do that, as a proof that I'm a student of IIUM. LOL.

SUCH A HASSLE, RIGHT? I regretted using the vouchers to buy books online. Well, only for that brief moment.

And so, as my 2 hours of Ethics and Law in Pharmacy *yawn* class starts at 15:00, I had to walk from my mahallah, under the hot scorching sun to Kulliyyah of Medicine to retrieve the parcel. The awesome Post Officer gave me two forms. One of them yellow in colour, the other pink. I need to have them stamped with the Kulliyyah's official stamp/cop mohor whatever la then only I can go back to KOM and get my books.

Again, I had to walked to KOP from KOM under the burning heat of the sun. 

From KOM to KOP to get the stamp: 1x

From KOP to KOM to collect the parcel: 1x

From KOM to KOP to attend the class: 1x

A total of 3 times. Ok bye.

3. So, that's all. It might seems like a hassle, but if you have your own car/means of transportation other than your own pair of sturdy legs, it would be okay.

Notice that I do not offer a detailed guide or steps on purchasing books from MPH using the book vouchers. For more info, just log on to www.mphonline.com.my

4. I'm thinking of buying more books through MPH Online. Books that I could not find in real bookstores. *sobs*. 

5. I have RM150 left. I'm thinking of buying Dr. Farish A. Noor's books

a) What Your Teacher Didn't Tell You: The Annexe Lectures Volume 1. It's like a true history of Malaysia or something. I'm a history buff, in case you didn't know.

RM40

b). Qur'an and Cricket: Travels Through the madrasahs of Asia and other stories. 

RM40

c) Tina Fey's Bossypants

RM35.90

But Maybe, just maybe, maybe I should take the pleasure of roaming around a REAL bookstore first and see what they have to offer, and thus, spend my remaining vouchers there. If I do not find any book that interests me (I highly doubt it), then MPHOnline again it is! 

MPH Bookstores belongs to Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar Al-Bukhary- Awesome Post Officer told me. 

May Peace Be Upon Us All! :) 

An Old Joke...

Because I tend to spend my time rambling on twitter, and looking at beautiful Korean celebrities reminded me of a joke my parents once told me. xD

Read from bottom to the top. And pardon the grammatical errors and incoherent sentences. :P

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!! :D 

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Instead of 'Please  Look After Mother' by Kyung Sook Shin, I bought this: 

 I was pleasantly surprised when I saw this book residing at the lowest shelf of the 'Young Adult' section at MPH Bookstore Amanjaya Mall. I have been looking out for this book for ages! (This is an exaggeration of course xD).

And so, I have made a firm, unwavering decision towards buying this book. What triggers and entices me to get a hold of this book is due to its collection of old-fashioned, black and white pictures. Those pictures are so mysterious and they hold some 'dark', eerie, macabre elements that are fascinating to people like me who loves ghost stories and mysterious stuffs. xD 

Having gotten used towards reading contemporary fictions and literary fictions to the likes of Tan Twan Eng and Haruki Murakami, it took quite some time for me to familiarize myself with the generally cliche and predictable storyline of this young adult genre. I have this unyielding conviction that the reason this book becomes an international bestseller (as what claimed on the front cover) is MAINLY due to, like I said; the unique collection of pictures that were attached together in these books, which served as visual aids. 

Ransom Riggs, the author of this book had initially arranged the photos and wrote out the story based on these photos. This is not an original idea but his effort should be well applauded because this is the first time I ever came across such book. 

I am currently in the midst of reading and finishing it. So far, the plot is quite average, to my disappointment; and it failed to evoke the sinister emotion that R.L Stine had successfully instilled in his readers through his 'Goosebumps' and 'Fear Street' series.  I hope that the story will get better as the plot progresses. 

I found a movie/book trailer of this book. It is said that Tim Burton would direct/is directing it. 

What about 'Please Look  After Mother'? My roommate happens to possess it and I decided to just borrow it from her. I am a fast reader after all. :P 

With that, may peace be upon us all! 

End of year post

Because this is like a yearly tradition.

So, here it is. 2012. I have great memories of 2012. I can't list them all, but oh well, a lot of significant things (for me). 

1.  Went to Taiwan with my friends. First time abroad WITHOUT any of my family members/relatives.
2.  Won National Novel Writing Month 2013. Yaay! 
3.  I-Mag Magazine 5th Issue is published and it's the most awesome issue so far (which many people praised it) and I was the assistant editor (LOL, nak jugak bagitahu). I-Mag is iPhA's (IIUM Pharmacy Students' Association) Magazine. 
4.  Managed to survive my first semester of 3rd year without getting permanently deranged. I was temporarily deranged throughout November and December 2012.  Yeah.
5.  I got full marks for my swimming test. Yaay! I can swim with proper techniques now! No longer gaya berenang kampung-cikgu yang cakap :P 
6.  The praises I received from a very important person, assuring me that I am actually a good emcee. :')  (immediately happened when I was feeling down, doubting and questioning my own abilities)
7.  Went snorkelling at Pulau Payar. It was AWESOME! 
8.  Family vacation at Batam, Indonesia and it was awesome as well! :) 
9.  Jalan-jalan cari makan with my cousin and brother in Singapore. Want to do it again! :)
10.  Weekend getaway at Cherating, where my parents came to Kuantan to visit me and I was in the midst of studying for a series of quizzes but hey I was really happy they came :')
11.  Read a total of 46-47 books (can't remember) this year. My target is 60 books per year. Oh well, let's achieve this target in 2013! :) 
12.  Volunteered for English Reading Programme 2012. Had fun and satisfaction sharing stuffs with the kids and teens! xD. 
13.  Had great fun at our batch's Annual Grand Dinner, whereby I was awarded with 'the Jedi Award!'. Haha.
14.  Participated in a forum and well, I crapped a lot! xD
15.  2012 is the year where I started to get health-conscious and I took care of my diet and started exercising regularly tapi tak istiqamah sampai sekarang :((
16.  Someone had stolen my bicycle. Apa jadi dah entah bicycle tu.. T__T
17. Watched Star Wars Episode I, II, III, IV, V, VI and I love Star Wars. :)

Well, there are A LOT of other things that happened in 2012. Of course, 365 days! Wait, it's 366 (leap year, kan?). And at the end of this year;well, I got to confess that I could sense and see that I've changed, I am more matured than I was before, and I learned a lot of things about myself, yeah. I've made new year resolutions, but let's just keep them to myself (unless I actually managed to cross out the things that I've planned!). 

So, hello 2013. Another 365 days filled with adventures, insya-Allah. 24 hours a day. There is simply A LOT of things that I could do! With Allah's wills, yes. Beneficial things. Doa supaya panjang umur, murah rezeki, sihat tubuh badan because there are many things that I need to do, many things I want to change, and that includes myself. For the betterment, Ameen.. 

24 hours

Salaam'alaik and a very good day to all. 

24 hours a day. So far, there is not even a single day that I fully utilized the 24 hours that is given to me throughout these 22 years of living (fine, minus zaman kanak-kanak Ribena). Wow, only now do I finally manage to comprehend the meaning behind 'Time is a Gift' or Gold, something like that. 24 hours, you could do so many things! You can change the world in just 24 hours! You could win a war for 24 hours. You could save a patient in 24 hours, You could finish your Literature Search if you allocate a full 24 hours for it.  

You could get Dean's List if you study for 24 hours oh this is irrelevant isn't it.

This is a matter that we have known all along but had never been meticulously pondered on before; and now I realized it. There's a reason on why Allah gives each one of us 24 hours. Not more, not less. Equal opportunity for all. Allah is Just and Fair.

Let's give a simple analogue. 

A mother gives each of her children RM24 (katakanlah ni zaman 80'an boleh beli banyak benda dengan RM24). She tells her children "You can do whatever you want with this RM24. Spend them wisely". And off one of them bought a lot of candies, another bought a new games or something, etc etc. And when the RM24 had been spent, then only they would feel regretful of the things they had bought. 

"If only I keep this in the bank," or "If only I save this money and collect more so that I could buy that thing that I really need," and the list goes on and on.

So let's ask ourselves "What have you done with the 24 hours that Allah had given you?"

I tengok internet, tidor banyak kali (kan sekarang musim hujan sangat kondusif untuk berhibernasi), lepas tu I belek-belek notes je, lepas tu bukak internet, belek notes lagi and then eh dah malam, tidur balik. Apa nak jadi ni haihhh...Sekarang baru tersedar. Nasib baik. Kalau leka je sepanjang masa? T__T

Oh, this reminds me of an unfinished book (wajib baca sampai habis!) 

  24 Hours in the Life of a Muslim by Harun Yahya. You can download the PDF version here. 

Okay, so now I have less than 48 hours until my first paper (Subject: Dosage Design II) for the finals. I have to:

1. Finish studying this particular subject (banyak laaa notes dia)

2. Finish my second draft of Literature Search

3. Finish my part of the Ophthalmic Preparations Lab Report

Okay, this 3 je. Fret not, I still have 30 hours! Erkk... please pray for me. :D 

General Penicillin and the Wise Witch Cordyline

Salaam'alaik.

Initially, at the beginning of the semester, 90% of the 3rd year Pharmacy students of IIUM had added the subject 'Literature Search' to their study plan. 

But then, just last week, 40% of them had dropped the subject, due to several reasons such as limitation of time, etc. 

 I'm not one of them, alhamdulillah. Come what may, whether I have to sacrifice my sleeping time and do not sleep at all throughout this study week, I MUST finish this literature search THIS semester so that I could proceed to Research Project about my Literature Search NEXT semester, insya-Allah. Ameen ya Rabb'al 'alamin. 

Literature search in this context is not a research about the works of Charles Dickens nor is it about how to interpret the deep meanings of William Shakespeare's poems and plays; it is about how you have to read more than 20 research articles, journals and academic textbooks and piecing them all up together, integrating them into one research paper---> hence it is called literature search! I seriously have no idea on why would the scientists call boring research articles as 'LITERATURE'. It might be probably due to the reason that they wanted to minimize the degree of boredom and mundanity, of which they failed to do so. *sigh*.

So, what is my literature search all about? It is actually quite interesting, if I put it this way. I couldn't afford to tell everything about it from A to Z, but this is a brief explanation about my so-called research work. Muahahaha.

For years, the wicked and notorious Mr. Staphyloccous aureus had brought destruction towards the residents of a great country called 'The Human Body', and the native defence armies of the country (the Leukocytes) failed to protect their fellow citizens from this harmful invasion. Many had died, and the Human Body died as well (WTH?) 

Then came General Penicillin, the saviour that they had been waiting for all these long. The brave, gallant and courageous General Penicillin bound to the Penicillin Binding Proteins of Mr Staphyloccous aureus and stopped the synthesis of its cell wall (which serves as their Achilles' Heel), rendered them helpless, unable to survive. 

This immense success had brought General Penicillin to its worldwide recognition. But.... that was until the last descendants of Mr.Staphyloccous aureus secretly devised a plan, which later manifested into the form of an indestructible army, which is the Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus (MRSA). Penicillin and Methicillin (who is his brother in law) could no longer stop this new army's aggression.

And so, Mr Staphyloccous aureus and his comrades are in their glorious reign again, but as powerful as they are, they could still be defeated by some newly formed penicillin-based armies. Still, they continued to become resistant and resistant as time goes by.

General Penicillin then realized that they could not defeat Mr.Staphylococcus aureus all by themselves. They need help! 

By that time, words had spread across the 'Cells World' on the existence of the fair and wise Witch Cordyline terminalis who could definitely help General Penicillin to defeat and destroy Mr.Staphylococcus aureus forever through their synergistic effects.

So, the question is, could they defeat Mr.Staphylococcus aureus? Will Mr.Staphylococcus aureus and his men continue to build new, resistant army? Will the brave and good looking General Penicillin fall in love with the beautiful and wise Witch Cordyline? The answer lies within my research paper. Muahahaha. 

Oh yes, macam ni lah best kalau nak buat Literature Search. Wakakakaka. 

Christian the Lion

Salaam'alaik and a very good morning to all.

Deranging December is almost over, alhamdulillah we managed to survive without getting permanently deranged ourselves (I think)! xD

Anyway, I started my first free day by watching youtube (whaddya expect? we have got no television here in our room :P) and being random as I always am, I decided to rewatch this video that my friend Syau had once shown in our class for tazkirah session.

When Syau showed the video (different one than what I've watched in youtube) I admit that my eyes had gotten all watery but I controlled my emotion because come on, do you expect me to bawl my eyes out in the lecture hall, filled with human beings?! haha, no. 

Anyway, about 1 year later, I felt the sudden longing (whatever you call it) to rewatch this. Well, actually it is not that sudden. When I logged on to facebook this morning, I watched a video about the relationship between a special Down's Syndrome toddler with a dog. I almost cried la.. haiyoo..

That got me thinking (and remembering) about this story, Christian the Lion. I went to youtube, typed 'Christian the Lionheart' and tadaaa, I watched the first video suggestion. 

And I BAWLED MY EYES OUT, I cried to my heart's contents (not that loud of course, you know that I'm exaggerating, I still have room mates). 

In other words, if it weren't for the box of tissue papers that is available on the desk, I would have cried buckets! 

I cried throughout the video, the choice of music fits the heart warming scenes extremely well! Excellent, just excellent!
I stopped crying and then my roommate, Diba came into my compartment, asking "What are you doing?" and off I showed her this video and the both of us cried.
Then, another roommate, Sharifah came and watched this video together with us. The three of us took the tissue papers and started wiping the tears off our own faces. HAHAHA. 

I cried watching this because this shows that Allah's power encompasses every living thing, just every thing between the heaven and the earth, and beyond the heaven and the earth. His mercy is shown in the most unlikely creature, in this case, the unconditional love from a predator towards its potential prey, the human beings! Allah is great, indeed! I feel deeply touched, extremely comfortable and relieved with Allah's Power to do everything, because I know that I could just depend on Allah, I could rely on Him. I could ask everything from Him. I know that He would protect me if only I put my faith and trust towards Him. Watching this makes me further acknowledge on the supremacy of Allah s.w.t and I cried because Allah is just soo... GREAT. 

My wise, philosophical-thinking mother once told me "Don't worry, we are in good hands," referring to Allah who had taken good care of us all these while, Alhamdulillah. 

An-Nisa' Verse 147. 

So, believe in Allah, be grateful for everything He had given you. :)

On another note. remember the previous post about my Korean Drama addiction? I have stopped, completely stopped watching Gaksital right after I have published that post. It was hard at first, but the first step is always the hardest step to take. (LOL) and look at me, I'm completely cured of the addiction! :P

Though of course, I would watch it after the final exam. xD

Please pray for my success in this world and hereafter! :D

Drama Withdrawal Symptoms

Salaam'alaik.

A very important (extremely!) reminder (and warning!) to anyone who's going to sit for final exams in 2 weeks time. 

DO NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO WATCH EVEN A SINGLE EPISODE OF A DRAMA YOU HAVE NEVER WATCHED BEFORE!!!

You will get addicted to the drama series! That is, if the drama is the most amazing drama you have ever watched!

In my case. it's GAKSITAL known as 'Bridal Mask', a period drama based on a Korean manhwa (comics/manga) by Huh Young Man.

Yes, a KOREAN DRAMA huhh..

To tell the truth, I prefer Japanese Dramas MORE than I do of Korean Dramas. Korean Dramas have TOO  MANY EPISODES! But Dae Jang Geum/Jewel in the Palace (having 54 episodes) is an exception! 

Dae Jang Geum is by far, the BEST Korean drama I have ever watched. 

But that was until....

I WATCHED BRIDAL MASK!!!

You know, I thought it was a harmless action, to watch only one episode when I was having lunch. I thought that I would not be interested to watch the following episodes.

I WAS WRONG.

I was intrigued, excited to know what happened next, even after the first episode, and I continued to watch the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th and the 5th. Without me realising it, I have actually spent FIVE HOURS watching this drama! What a waste of time!! Oh, this happened last week, by the way.

I felt very guilty and I stopped watching. 

And right now, I've already reached the 12th episode!! T__T (there is a total of 28 episodes in this series).

I tell myself "Sarah, it is time to stop. It is now or never! The series just get better with more episodes to come. You'd better stop watching now or you will never stop watching it until the end!!!"

So yes. I stopped watching. And I couldn't concentrate on studying. HAHA.

It is clear that I am having the 'Drama withdrawal symptoms'.

Addiction Signs and Symptoms

All addictions [...] involve both physical and psychological processes. Each person's experience of addiction is slightly different, but usually involves a cluster of some of the following symptoms of addiction. You can still be addicted even if you do not have all of the symptoms.

There are many different addictions, but similar symptoms span them all.

Some of the common symptoms of addiction are:

1. Tolerance- the need to engage in the addictive behavior more and more to get the desired effect.

For Example: A drama addict might feel the need to watch more dramas.

2. Withdrawal happens when the person does not take the substance or engage in the activity, and they experience unpleasant symptoms, which are often the opposite of the effects of the addictive behavior

For Example: A drama addict may feel withdrawal symptoms once a drama has ended or between episodes of a drama.

3. Difficulty cutting down or controlling the addictive behavior.

For Example: A drama addict may find it hard to cut down on how much they watch.

4. Social, occupational or recreational activities becoming more focused around the addiction, and important social and occupational roles being jeopardize.

For Example: A drama addict may start referring to dramas on a daily basis or may end up watching dramas at work.

5. The person becoming preoccupied with the addiction, spending a lot of time on planning, engaging in, and recovering from the addictive behavior.

For Example: A drama addict may set aside time for their addiction or work on other dramas to keep their QC status.

Signs of Addiction

Extreme mood changes - happy, sad, excited, anxious, etc.
Sleeping a lot more or less than usual, or at different times of day or night.
Changes in energy - unexpectedly and extremely tired or energetic.
Weight loss or weight gain.
Seeming unwell at certain times, and better at other times.
Pupils of the eyes seeming smaller or larger than usual.
Secretiveness.
Lying.
Changes in social groups, new and unusual friends, odd cell-phone conversations.

Taken from here 

Why is Gaksital so awesome?

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SERIES IS AWESOME!!

It tells the story about this 'superhero', known as Gaksital (Bridal Mask- because he wears a mask) who fought against the Japanese Imperial Army and the Japanese occupation on the whole in Korea during the 1930's.

It's like Korean version of Batman!! And I love BATMAN!!

I love ALL THE soundtracks of this series.

I love ALL the actors and actresses. They have impeccable, highly commendable acting skills!! They are really GOOD and they really got into their characters, if you know what I mean and thus, I was so moved by  their acting and I couldn't stop watching! 

You know, there's a saying that if you do something from your heart, you'll touch people by their hearts too! 

I love everything about this series la!! 

But I have to stop watching it.

So yes. It's always hard in the beginning. But I will get over it. Please pray that I will overcome this torturous addiction... :(

Byee...

Post NaNo Part 2

Salaam'alaik and a very good day to all.

So, Nauseating Awesome November was finally over eh?? YAAY!

But yeah, here comes the most difficult month of this semester, the DECEMBER. I call this particular month as DERANGING DECEMBER.

I started December 2012 with a huge zit just popping out on my face out of nowhere (I attributed it towards stress and hormonal fluctuation, LOL) , with my team mates and I currently struggling towards the completion of our BIOSTATISTICS AND PHARMACOEPIDEMIOLOGY research project!!! 

I hate SPSS, seriously. 

Anyway, something VERY FUNNY happened just now. Make sure that you read this till the end. :P

During recess, I was on my seat in the lecture hall, talking with my friends when Aisyah Iman, our assistant class representative suddenly asked me. 

"Sarah, Sarah menang competition apa? Madam tanya," she said as she looked at her handphone while standing up.

I looked at her incredulously and with utmost confusion, later asking her back "Madam mana?"

"Madam Bux, tadi kat admin meeting," Madam Bux here refers to Madam Siti Halimah Bux, who is the Deputy Dean of Students' Affairs.

"WHAT??" I literally shrieked. 

"Macam mana dia tahu?"

" Madam cakap suruh Sarah jumpa dia bagitahu Sarah menang competition apa,"

T___T

After I have successfully regained my composure, I went to her seat at the back and asked 

"Aisyah, macam mana Madam tahu? Madam cakap apa?"

Aisyah laughed a bit (probably upon seeing my expression) and asked "Sarah masuk essay competition apa? Dean yang tanya madam, madam tanya kitorang. Tadi ada meeting untuk class reps dengan Madam Halimah and Prof Haniki (Deputy Dean of Academic Affairs),"

WHAT? THE DEAN OF KULLIYYAH OF PHARMACY ASKING THE DEPUTY DEAN OF STUDENTS' AFFAIRS ABOUT WHAT COMPETITION DID I ENTER AND WIN??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SERIOUSLY??!!!

I was a bit frantic (drama queen, duh!) and off I asked her again. "Madam nak apa?"

"Madam cakap, kalau ada achievement luar universiti, bagitahu dia, dia nak letak bawah achievement (don't ask me, I don't know what achievement did she mean),"

Okayy...

I returned back to my seat and laughed out loud with Syau and my other friends who had been enlightened on what National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo really is.

Raihanah said "Akak,lebih baik akak bagitahu madam NaNoWriMo tu sebenarnya apa,"

Hahaha. Tak nak bagitahu boleh. Tak nak letak dalam achievement pun. Suka-suka je letak kat facebook. Did not expect that it would get exaggerated to this extent. Hahaha. 

The most puzzling thing is, how did the DEAN of KULLIYYAH of PHARMACY know that I won NaNoWriMo? He is not my friend on facebook and I don't even know whether he has a facebook or not. LOLZZ...

News spread fast eh? Just by a mere change of your facebook cover picture, then everyone in Kulliyyah of Pharmacy knows that you had won something that is not even worth mentioning. HAHAHA. I did not even tell my mother that I won NaNoWriMo because I don't think that this is such a big and important matter. I only tell her major things like getting the highest marks for the quiz, the marks for other quizzes, getting praised by lecturers for... LOL.

Anyway, though extremely funny this incident is, it also further spurs my determination towards becoming a REAL, PUBLISHED author one day, insya-Allah. 

CreateSpace's giving me 5 free paperback copies of my novel! :P And I haven't even completed my novel, yaay!! (not!) and so, I have to complete and rewrite my novel during these 3 weeks of semester vacation, then I'd ask some of my friends to read and criticize it, so that I could improve and rewrite, then I want to send it to CreateSpace. huh..

I also need someone to design a cover for my so-called novel. LOL.

The procedures are quite tedious but I'll see it to the end, insya-Allah. 

Ni post berangan. But hey, it's true. CreateSpace's giving me 5 free paperback copies of my novel because I won NaNoWriMo 2012!

Waktu tu barulah boleh jumpa Madam Bux letak dalam achievement. Haha (insya-Allah. Ameen). 

Please please please, everyone who reads this, please pray for my success, and may Allah bless you always. :) 

P.S People still asked me "Did you get money for winning NaNoWriMo?" >_< Is money everything, no?